Is my friend shallow or is it just me? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Hi,

So, I was just talking to my friend about going out on monday. He said to me "When we're there we can meet some girls so you can take your mind off 'X'"

Before I go on, basically the lo-down with X is basically a girl i've been getting along really well with, she's really flirty with etc, and I REALLY like her, more than any other girl I've ever met, she's just great. Anyway, he's also started dating some girl he was apparently 'really' into to, but he just said he's gonna do the same when we're there.

So, I said to him no, I was interested in X, and he basically rambled on about keeping your options open blah blah. Now in my opinion, if you're really into someone you can't just go off with someone else the next day or whatever. Do other guys think like that too though? Have I just got a dumb sense of romance? I just feel like it would be disrespecting her. Of course there's no way it could be cheating on as we're not together, I just feel like it wouldnt be right though. So basically, what I'm trying to say is, do people find it fine to try and be a player like him, or am I doing the right thing by sticking to my guns?

Cheers.
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jaz_jaz
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#2
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#2
No you are right. If you like the girl, why try it with others?
Players piss me off. Your friend obviously doesn't like the other girl hes "in to" that much.
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Evenstar
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#3
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#3
You are sweet. There's nothing wrong with good old-fashioned romance:love:
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nterry242
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#4
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I wouldn't say he's shallow, just a bit of an idiot.
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Zamolxes
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#5
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#5
You're probably new to relationships mate. You aren't dating her so no..it's NOT wrong, clearly not. If you don't wanna see other girls it's not dumb but you have to remember dating is a numbers game. Your friend is kinda right, you have to keep your options open because if you get rejected by this girl not only will you be totally alone not having anything to fall back to but you will be devastated. You are much too serious for a relationship that HASN'T EVEN STARTED!! That's how people end up getting hurt.
Just my two cents.
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Johan C
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

So, I was just talking to my friend about going out on monday. He said to me "When we're there we can meet some girls so you can take your mind off 'X'"

Before I go on, basically the lo-down with X is basically a girl i've been getting along really well with, she's really flirty with etc, and I REALLY like her, more than any other girl I've ever met, she's just great. Anyway, he's also started dating some girl he was apparently 'really' into to, but he just said he's gonna do the same when we're there.

So, I said to him no, I was interested in X, and he basically rambled on about keeping your options open blah blah. Now in my opinion, if you're really into someone you can't just go off with someone else the next day or whatever. Do other guys think like that too though? Have I just got a dumb sense of romance? I just feel like it would be disrespecting her. Of course there's no way it could be cheating on as we're not together, I just feel like it wouldnt be right though. So basically, what I'm trying to say is, do people find it fine to try and be a player like him, or am I doing the right thing by sticking to my guns?

Cheers.
Finally a decent person !
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ThankYouPlease
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

So, I was just talking to my friend about going out on monday. He said to me "When we're there we can meet some girls so you can take your mind off 'X'"

Before I go on, basically the lo-down with X is basically a girl i've been getting along really well with, she's really flirty with etc, and I REALLY like her, more than any other girl I've ever met, she's just great. Anyway, he's also started dating some girl he was apparently 'really' into to, but he just said he's gonna do the same when we're there.

So, I said to him no, I was interested in X, and he basically rambled on about keeping your options open blah blah. Now in my opinion, if you're really into someone you can't just go off with someone else the next day or whatever. Do other guys think like that too though? Have I just got a dumb sense of romance? I just feel like it would be disrespecting her. Of course there's no way it could be cheating on as we're not together, I just feel like it wouldnt be right though. So basically, what I'm trying to say is, do people find it fine to try and be a player like him, or am I doing the right thing by sticking to my guns?

Cheers.

There may be *some* sense in what your friend is saying. Perhaps he thinks you are 'too' interested in X, and is worried you might build it all up to something it mightn't be, and you'll be very disappointed. Sometimes if you are 'too' interested in someone it can put them off.
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Anonymous #1
#8
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(Original post by ThankYouPlease)
There may be *some* sense in what your friend is saying. Perhaps he thinks you are 'too' interested in X, and is worried you might build it all up to something it mightn't be, and you'll be very disappointed. Sometimes if you are 'too' interested in someone it can put them off.
Yup, and I've made sure not to act like that, she does 75% of the chasing tbh.
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Azer
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#9
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I don't see anything wrong with it. It's your choice though. It's not like you'd be cheating on anyone.
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Smack
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

So, I was just talking to my friend about going out on monday. He said to me "When we're there we can meet some girls so you can take your mind off 'X'"

Before I go on, basically the lo-down with X is basically a girl i've been getting along really well with, she's really flirty with etc, and I REALLY like her, more than any other girl I've ever met, she's just great. Anyway, he's also started dating some girl he was apparently 'really' into to, but he just said he's gonna do the same when we're there.

So, I said to him no, I was interested in X, and he basically rambled on about keeping your options open blah blah. Now in my opinion, if you're really into someone you can't just go off with someone else the next day or whatever. Do other guys think like that too though? Have I just got a dumb sense of romance? I just feel like it would be disrespecting her. Of course there's no way it could be cheating on as we're not together, I just feel like it wouldnt be right though. So basically, what I'm trying to say is, do people find it fine to try and be a player like him, or am I doing the right thing by sticking to my guns?

Cheers.
Well I think you're being incredibly daft for thinking like this if you're not in an exclusive relationship with X. There'd be absolutely nothing wrong with getting with other people. Chances are she's doing it.
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
Seems like guys are fine with it, and yet the girls aren't.
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DominF
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#12
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I'm a guy who's not fine with it. If I'm really into someone, 1, I don't really have any desire to mess around with anyone else, 2, it'd feel wrong regardless of whether I'm actually in a relationship with the person. I'd only want to be with them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DominF)
I'm a guy who's not fine with it. If I'm really into someone, 1, I don't really have any desire to mess around with anyone else, 2, it'd feel wrong regardless of whether I'm actually in a relationship with the person. I'd only want to be with them.
Yeah, thats how I feel really.
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devilgirl999
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#14
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sounds to me like your friend actually fancies the girl you're with and wants you to drop her so he has a chance
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by devilgirl999)
sounds to me like your friend actually fancies the girl you're with and wants you to drop her so he has a chance
Hehe nah, he doesn't know her. And although he may be a bit of a player, he's not a backstabber, I've known him since I was 5, and he's a really decent guy overall.
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DominF
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#16
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Not to mention that if you get with someone else you might end up being pressured to be with them, decreasing your chances of being with the person you really care about and being unfair to the second girl.
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