The Student Room Group

My parents are mad at me for ordering too much stuff

My parents don't want me to move out, and I don't mind living with my parents. The only thing I asked from them is to give me privacy and not nag me about everything, which they failed to do.

I get quite a bit of packages. I don't know if it's considered alot, but on average maybe every other day. I order almost everything online, I don't see the point of shopping in person for things like necessities. I also order everything at a discounted price, I'm very frugal.

My parents have a huge problem with this and annoy me about it every day when a package comes. They not only demand to see what is in the package but also get mad at me and say I have a shopping addiction. I explained to them I mostly order NECESSITIES. My shampoo, moisturizer, medication, groceries etc. They just don't understand. Apparently shopping online = shopping addiction and wasting money. But if I went to the shop everyday they wouldn't see a problem?

How to I convince them to stop nagging me about this? I want to order some clothes (I haven't bought any for months) but they'll probably faint when they see the package. I'm so anxious everyday hoping my packages arrive when they are at work. I don't go out much because I work from home so ordering online is the best option.. also it's literally 2022. Everyone does it.

Scroll to see replies

If you don’t mind living with your parents (your own words) then practise forbearance

Understand why they may be feeling the way they do, and see if you guys can come to an agreement of some sort (reduce your orders, or opt to collect, etc..)

Once you have your own place, you can buy as much as you like

#thetruthhurts
Original post by The_Truth_hurts_
If you don’t mind living with your parents (your own words) then practise forbearance

Understand why they may be feeling the way they do, and see if you guys can come to an agreement of some sort (reduce your orders, or opt to collect, etc..)

Once you have your own place, you can buy as much as you like

#thetruthhurts


I completely agree here
Also to add: You're wasting your money ordering so much online, it doesnt really grow on trees
Original post by The_Truth_hurts_
If you don’t mind living with your parents (your own words) then practise forbearance

Understand why they may be feeling the way they do, and see if you guys can come to an agreement of some sort (reduce your orders, or opt to collect, etc..)

Once you have your own place, you can buy as much as you like

#thetruthhurts

They have no valid reason to feel that way. They just think it's a "waste of money" which it is not, I buy necessities like I stated. And to add, my parents WANT me to live with them. Me moving out is out of the question, so the least they could do is give me some freedom/privacy.
Original post by idontevenknow3
I completely agree here
Also to add: You're wasting your money ordering so much online, it doesnt really grow on trees

Buying in person doesn't waste money?
Original post by Anonymous
My parents don't want me to move out, and I don't mind living with my parents. The only thing I asked from them is to give me privacy and not nag me about everything, which they failed to do.

I get quite a bit of packages. I don't know if it's considered alot, but on average maybe every other day. I order almost everything online, I don't see the point of shopping in person for things like necessities. I also order everything at a discounted price, I'm very frugal.

My parents have a huge problem with this and annoy me about it every day when a package comes. They not only demand to see what is in the package but also get mad at me and say I have a shopping addiction. I explained to them I mostly order NECESSITIES. My shampoo, moisturizer, medication, groceries etc. They just don't understand. Apparently shopping online = shopping addiction and wasting money. But if I went to the shop everyday they wouldn't see a problem?

How to I convince them to stop nagging me about this? I want to order some clothes (I haven't bought any for months) but they'll probably faint when they see the package. I'm so anxious everyday hoping my packages arrive when they are at work. I don't go out much because I work from home so ordering online is the best option.. also it's literally 2022. Everyone does it.


I don't see how you can "order necessities" that get delivered on average every other day? How? Why?

Shopping online definitely doesn't equal a shopping addiction but every other day is definitely way above average.
Original post by idontevenknow3
I completely agree here
Also to add: You're wasting your money ordering so much online, it doesnt really grow on trees

Don't see how ordering necessities online is wasting money? You can easily buy the same things in store, is buying them (the exact same items) in store wasting money then?
Original post by Mara1680
I don't see how you can "order necessities" that get delivered on average every other day? How? Why?

Shopping online definitely doesn't equal a shopping addiction but every other day is definitely way above average.


Can agree with this though.
Original post by Mara1680
I don't see how you can "order necessities" that get delivered on average every other day? How? Why?

Shopping online definitely doesn't equal a shopping addiction but every other day is definitely way above average.


Most people buy their groceries/necessities weekly while I buy them when I need them. I don’t know why it’s hard to understand. Like this week I ordered a face serum that had ran out, groceries (from getir) and a drainage thing because my sink was blocked. ALL of these cost me under £10. I don’t know why people are coming for me and telling me I’m wasting money, I’m good with my money.
Original post by Talkative Toad
Don't see how ordering necessities online is wasting money? You can easily buy the same things in store, is buying them (the exact same items) in store wasting money then?


Agreed. Not to mention buying in store wastes time and fuel. There are also great deals/vouchers available easily online which isn’t as easy in store.
Original post by Anonymous
Agreed. Not to mention buying in store wastes time and fuel. There are also great deals/vouchers available easily online which isn’t as easy in store.


That is true.
If your parents can't mind their own business about your shopping habits and are so overbearing that they want to check what you have bought with your own money, you can't trust them at all in relation to your privacy.
Don't expect them to change for the better.
Nor have a hands off approach to your dating life, friends, fashion sense, nightlife or finances.

I understand some of how your feel, I've been there. :smile:
Parents that behave like this are not going to change their attitudes or habits.
The only answer to stop it is to have your parcels delivered somewhere else where they won't see them.
Either an amazon locker, friend's home, mail box facility or your place of work if allowed.

Plus try to move out as soon as you can.
These nosy types of parents often have even worse behaved friends that encourage them to further erode the independance and privacy of younger relatives that share their accomodation.
As regards searching bags, reading other people's post or illegal activity in relation to accessing bank accounts or medical files.
Good luck!
Original post by idontevenknow3
Also to add: You're wasting your money ordering so much online, it doesnt really grow on trees


This post makes 0 sense.
Original post by Anonymous
Most people buy their groceries/necessities weekly while I buy them when I need them. I don’t know why it’s hard to understand. Like this week I ordered a face serum that had ran out, groceries (from getir) and a drainage thing because my sink was blocked. ALL of these cost me under £10. I don’t know why people are coming for me and telling me I’m wasting money, I’m good with my money.


Don't you pay a delivery fee?
Original post by Anonymous
Agreed. Not to mention buying in store wastes time and fuel. There are also great deals/vouchers available easily online which isn’t as easy in store.


Do your delivery drivers not use fuel? It is none of your parents business what you actually buy but constant deliveries is bad for local pollution and suggests a lack of planning that would irritate me.
Original post by Mara1680
Don't you pay a delivery fee?


Mostly no. I have amazon prime.
Original post by Anonymous
Do your delivery drivers not use fuel? It is none of your parents business what you actually buy but constant deliveries is bad for local pollution and suggests a lack of planning that would irritate me.


When I said it wastes fuel I meant that it wastes your money, I wasn’t thinking about pollution. Also delivery drivers usually drop off many packages on my road and area, it’s not like they travel miles just for me. They’re also mostly electric vans.
Are you south asian by any chance? Not to generalise but from what you’ve said it seems like a lot of things that south asian parents behave like (im south asian myself, dont come for me)

Are you using your own money or theirs?
Let's be clear, it's nice that your parents want you living at home, but you absolutely can move out and if you want more privacy, that sounds like the best option.
It might sound strange but I can understand how it's annoying for them - I can't quite put words to what it is (not helpful, sorry) but I know that if delivery drivers came to my house every other day with a package, it would frustrate me. For me the amount of packaging and fuel to deliver just that one item every few days is wasteful.
I also don't see how you can be buying necessities every other day. Shampoo, toothpaste ect all last months, so sure there might be a time when they all run out close together, but not regularly enough to warrant that.
As I said, I think it might be the wastefulness of fuel and packaging that's upsetting them. In addition to what perhaps they think the neighbours think, with the delivery driver stopping at yours so frequently.
Might be worth considering just doing fewer orders with more things in one order? Or shopping in a real shop? Or moving out?
Original post by Anonymous
Are you south asian by any chance? Not to generalise but from what you’ve said it seems like a lot of things that south asian parents behave like (im south asian myself, dont come for me)

Are you using your own money or theirs?


Yes lol. And I’m using my own money.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending