How to show a guy you can be trusted again??? Watch

starz10
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#1
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yeah i'v just got in from being yelled at by my bf (now ex) and his mum.
he dumped me b/c i went round a work collegues for the evening but i unknowingly got up to my neck in it.

this guy invited me over to just chill out and watch tv and have a little chat but it basically turned into sexual harassment. he pinned me to the floor asking for sexual favours but i got away and locked myself in the bathroom.

i text my bf begging him to come get me but he had been drinking and brought his mum. my bf didnt like this guy cause hes 4 years older thn me. so he dumped me but picked me up anyway.

he now wants me to regain his trust but i don't know how to do that? how do you show your trust worthy????

i really need to win this guy back!! i'm so desperate!! i love him so much i feel so sick and like i wna die!!
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Be myself
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Be nice to him as much as you can! (My friend even cooked a meal for her ex when he's sick), if he still loves you, he'd appreciated!
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deanot88
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Tell him to get a grip of himself. You went to see someone you thought was a friend and he took advantage if that. You asked your boyfriend to help and he did in a way but he should be making sure you're ok not talking about you regainning his trust.

The only thing I'd say is don't go round to random guys houses, if you do then make sure they are real friends.

Edit: This is assuming you haven't left anything out. Back to the point about trust, I don't think someone can regain trust but maybe that's just me
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Fleece
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why's he being a tit about it?

did you go around thinking it was anything more than friends?
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starz10
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(Original post by Fleece)
why's he being a tit about it?

did you go around thinking it was anything more than friends?
nope honest to god!! the only thing i fabricated was that i told him i was going out with college mates...thats wat he and his mother got pissy about.
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Amanda
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To be honest I think he's being an ass. Break up with you right after that happened to you? Sheesh.
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Fleece
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(Original post by starz10)
nope honest to god!! the only thing i fabricated was that i told him i was going out with college mates...thats wat he and his mother got pissy about.
Ok...so that obviously looked suspicious to him. You should have told him where you were going to be honest, but I guess you know that now.

I can understand him being annoyed, but surely he'd be more worried about your safety? It's not like you were boning him.
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SamTheMan
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Sorry, have I missed something? What exactly is he blaming you for?

From what you're saying, it sounds like you acted with the best intentions so it's not too clear why you feel you want to regain your bf's trust?

Are you telling us the whole story? I'm assuming you never told him you were going round a work colleague's to share some "quality time"? I'm reading the content of your post but it sounds like the form is suggesting that you weren't just going round this guy "innocently"? Why did you have to lie to him to go see this colleague? Why did you even want to go round this colleague's?

Hey, I may be wrong so please clarify.
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Veil of Maya
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[QUOTE=SamTheMan]Sorry, have I missed something? What exactly is he blaming you for?
QUOTE]

Errr...

(Original post by starz10)
nope honest to god!! the only thing i fabricated was that i told him i was going out with college mates...thats wat he and his mother got pissy about.

You can't imagine how that would look and feel from his angle? She's lied about where she was going so she could spend the evening with another bloke. I'd be a little pissed off, I think he has the right to be too. Although I don't deny that what happened must have been horrible for her too.

OP. You made a mistake that ended up badly for you, with any luck in a couple of days he'll have calmed down and things will be much better.
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deanot88
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#10
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(Original post by starz10)
nope honest to god!! the only thing i fabricated was that i told him i was going out with college mates...thats wat he and his mother got pissy about.
In that case I couldn't blame him for anything he's done then. He did the right thing by coming to get you and it's easy to see why he's angry. As for regaining his trust I'm not sure you can. Some people are more trusting than others
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SamTheMan
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[quote=Veil of Maya]
(Original post by SamTheMan)
Sorry, have I missed something? What exactly is he blaming you for?
QUOTE]

Errr...




You can't imagine how that would look and feel from his angle? She's lied about where she was going so she could spend the evening with another bloke. I'd be a little pissed off, I think he has the right to be too. Although I don't deny that what happened must have been horrible for her too.

OP. You made a mistake that ended up badly for you, with any luck in a couple of days he'll have calmed down and things will be much better.
You could have maybe looked at the rest of my post...
I was pointing out that she's not really admitting to having done much, yet she seems to be very concerned that she's lost her boyfriend's trust, almost to the point that she does indeed seem to think that she doesn't deserve his trust.
What I want to know is what were her intentions? Why did she go round to this guy's place? Was she attracted to him?
In that kind of situation, knowing what did or didn't happen isn't really the answer to my questions. I need to know what her intentions were in order to understand and forgive.
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Fusion
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#12
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this guy invited me over to just chill out and watch tv and have a little chat
And you thought there wasn't any hidden motives? How naive.
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Veil of Maya
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[QUOTE=SamTheMan]
(Original post by Veil of Maya)
You could have maybe looked at the rest of my post...
I was pointing out that she's not really admitting to having done much, yet she seems to be very concerned that she's lost her boyfriend's trust, almost to the point that she does indeed seem to think that she doesn't deserve his trust.
What I want to know is what were her intentions? Why did she go round to this guy's place? Was she attracted to him?
In that kind of situation, knowing what did or didn't happen isn't really the answer to my questions. I need to know what her intentions were in order to understand and forgive.
Sorry man, long day, I'm a little slow at the moment.

I'm curious too.
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Veil of Maya
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(Original post by Fusion)
And you thought there wasn't any hidden motives? How naive.
And if she didn't why did she need to lie in the first place...
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SamTheMan
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[quote=Veil of Maya]
(Original post by SamTheMan)

Sorry man, long day, I'm a little slow at the moment.

I'm curious too.
I'm curious/confused. I find that usually if there's no consistency between what someone claims to have done and how bad they feel about their actions, they're usually not telling the whole story.
Maybe the OP thought she'd go round this colleague's because he's attractive, had shown interest in her and when she realised he was just playing her and wanted a bit of action, that's all, she changed her mind about the whole situation. At least, that's all I can assume, as the OP is revealing so little.
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Fusion
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(Original post by Veil of Maya)
And if she didn't why did she need to lie in the first place...
I don't buy any of this tbh. Good riddance (from his perspective).
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Zamolxes
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#17
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I'd be super pissed too..tbh. Win him back? well first...stop going out with other guys. Even if the intentions are innocent. It makes you look bad. And secondly ... do something for him. Some great romantic gesture :P Show him you love him and your sorry you were being sluttay. That's all it takes.
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Rokit
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#18
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(Original post by Fusion)
And you thought there wasn't any hidden motives? How naive.
Not necessarily. I have been invited to the home of a male friend (who I know has had a thing for me) and he has been entirely respectful and not tried anything on. It all depends on the person in question
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Evenstar
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#19
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(Original post by Amanda)
To be honest I think he's being an ass. Break up with you right after that happened to you? Sheesh.
:yep: ^^

You'd think he'd at least have a little sympathy for the distress you've been through.

Okay, you shouldn't have lied to him...that's probably given him the wrong impression about the whole thing...but hello? if you actually fancied the other guy would you have rung your bf to come get you when he made a move...I dont think so.

I dont think your bf or his mum are thinking this through logically.
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tired yet?
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#20
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wait, you got sexually harassed and he expects YOu to regain his trust? you didn;t do anything. tell him to **** off.
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