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Crazy Family. How do I escape?

US-UK Dual Citizen. Born in America brought up England. I’m 17 and in Y13. I have a family that’s tryna prevent me from going to college in America. What do I do. They want me to be in England. I want to be in America
is there a specific reason they don’t want you going?
Original post by panicked loaf
is there a specific reason they don’t want you going?

I honestly don’t know what it is man. They are overly controlling. They are jarring as hell. The worst part about it is that they ain’t even paying for it. I’m financing that education all by myself.
Original post by Anonymous
US-UK Dual Citizen. Born in America brought up England. I’m 17 and in Y13. I have a family that’s tryna prevent me from going to college in America. What do I do. They want me to be in England. I want to be in America


Like most families they probably want what’s best for you, they know what life is like in America and probably don’t want that for you… I’ve lived in both countries and will never live in USA again. Everything from healthcare to backwards laws and the food, I can’t stand it.
Of course it’s your decision and you have to make these choices for yourself but I highly doubt it comes from a place of malice!
Original post by Anonymous
I honestly don’t know what it is man. They are overly controlling. They are jarring as hell. The worst part about it is that they ain’t even paying for it. I’m financing that education all by myself.


I’m sorry they’re so controlling etc, but taking the time and making sure they actually listen to your reasons would be super beneficial. When it comes to the US it’s really expensive, as I’m sure you know, so are you in any position eligible for a scholarship? Financial aid would also be super helpful in your case. It also depends where you want to go, as some places are more expensive than others etc.

I’m sure more stress won’t be of ANY help but have you sat the ACTs or SATs yet? As you’re in year 13, it’s very late to start the process of applying now as you have to write a **** ton of essays so maybe a gap year if you really want to go.
Original post by Anonymous
I honestly don’t know what it is man. They are overly controlling. They are jarring as hell. The worst part about it is that they ain’t even paying for it. I’m financing that education all by myself.


Why should your parents have to pay for it? Studying in America isn’t exactly cheap…
Wait until you are 18 years old.
Then make your college applications, arrange safe & stable accomodation in the usa, get hold of your usa passport, book your flight and spend your savings enjoying your version of the american dream. :cool:
Good luck!
Original post by ALEreapp
Like most families they probably want what’s best for you, they know what life is like in America and probably don’t want that for you… I’ve lived in both countries and will never live in USA again. Everything from healthcare to backwards laws and the food, I can’t stand it.
Of course it’s your decision and you have to make these choices for yourself but I highly doubt it comes from a place of malice!

It certainly does feel like it comes from a place of malice. Actions always speaker than words. I would rather live in the USA over the UK. Britain is just so boring, dull and depressing . The Politics of this area messed up. The USA is not glamorous at all either. But it appears to be the better of the two. The Weather , The food and the archaic buildings are all just push factors for me.
Original post by panicked loaf
I’m sorry they’re so controlling etc, but taking the time and making sure they actually listen to your reasons would be super beneficial. When it comes to the US it’s really expensive, as I’m sure you know, so are you in any position eligible for a scholarship? Financial aid would also be super helpful in your case. It also depends where you want to go, as some places are more expensive than others etc.

I’m sure more stress won’t be of ANY help but have you sat the ACTs or SATs yet? As you’re in year 13, it’s very late to start the process of applying now as you have to write a **** ton of essays so maybe a gap year if you really want to go.

I’m well into the process. FAFSA is what I’m doing but it requires their input.
Original post by Anonymous
It certainly does feel like it comes from a place of malice. Actions always speaker than words. I would rather live in the USA over the UK. Britain is just so boring, dull and depressing . The Politics of this area messed up. The USA is not glamorous at all either. But it appears to be the better of the two. The Weather , The food and the archaic buildings are all just push factors for me.


So one word in that said it all for me ‘appears’ you actually have no idea. You would rather live in a country you know nothing about and have never actually experienced, your whole perception is not likely based on reality.
I would say any country is ‘boring, dull and depressing’ if you have that mindset. I can assure you America is not going to be much better, the suburban life in the middle of some random state is not anything special 😅
Why does it feel like it’s coming from a place of malice?
My dad is American born but renounced his citizenship for British citizenship due to the fact a British passport is stronger and also the USA force you to pay their taxes on top of whatever country you reside in. So I’ve never claimed my citizenship although I’m entitled to it because I refuse to pay even more taxes.
It does feel like you haven’t really thought the whole thing through and have fallen for ‘the American dream’ fantasy slightly…
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by ALEreapp
So one word in that said it all for me ‘appears’ you actually have no idea. You would rather live in a country you know nothing about and have never actually experienced, your whole perception is not likely based on reality.
I would say any country is ‘boring, dull and depressing’ if you have that mindset. I can assure you America is not going to be much better, the suburban life in the middle of some random state is not anything special 😅
Why does it feel like it’s coming from a place of malice?
My dad is American born but renounced his citizenship for British citizenship due to the fact a British passport is stronger and also the USA force you to pay their taxes on top of whatever country you reside in. So I’ve never claimed my citizenship although I’m entitled to it because I refuse to pay even more taxes.
It does feel like you haven’t really thought the whole thing through and have fallen for ‘the American dream’ fantasy slightly…


British and US Passports are equal in terms of travelling power. The US Passport used to be way stronger but you can blame Trump for its decline.

I haven’t fallen for the American Dream Fantasy because I just wanna do my undergrad and possibly masters there and go somewhere else.
But England is too boring. No, not all countries are shithole. Some are good, Some are bad.

The surburban life in a random state seems better than some old village or town with castles. Student life in the USA from entertainment to activities seems so much more fun and better across the pond.
Original post by Anonymous
British and US Passports are equal in terms of travelling power. The US Passport used to be way stronger but you can blame Trump for its decline.

I haven’t fallen for the American Dream Fantasy because I just wanna do my undergrad and possibly masters there and go somewhere else.
But England is too boring. No, not all countries are shithole. Some are good, Some are bad.

The surburban life in a random state seems better than some old village or town with castles. Student life in the USA from entertainment to activities seems so much more fun and better across the pond.


As of this year the British passport is more powerful https://www.henleyglobal.com/download/hpi

Whether a country is a ‘shithole’ will always be a matter of perspective, to many people England is a paradise in comparison to what they deal with.

Again ‘seems’ you have no idea what’s better 😂
You can crack on, but it ‘seems’ like your family have tried to warn you because they actually know what it’s like but you don’t want to even hear it. As long as you don’t ask them for any help if you ever have an insane medical bill etc because of a loophole in your insurance then I don’t see any issue!
Original post by ALEreapp
As of this year the British passport is more powerful https://www.henleyglobal.com/download/hpi

Whether a country is a ‘shithole’ will always be a matter of perspective, to many people England is a paradise in comparison to what they deal with.

Again ‘seems’ you have no idea what’s better 😂
You can crack on, but it ‘seems’ like your family have tried to warn you because they actually know what it’s like but you don’t want to even hear it. As long as you don’t ask them for any help if you ever have an insane medical bill etc because of a loophole in your insurance then I don’t see any issue!

According to this,The US is slightly higher. https://www.passportindex.org/byRank.php

Yes I agree, it is a matter of perspective. But for me personally, England is a ********. I have an exact idea as to what is better. The UK’s future is a country is in far far greater than that of the divided states. UK and just generally Europe as a whole is stagnant. Inflation is sky high. Pound is dipping. It’s crazy. The UK is like the remnants of a fallen empire. The US is an Empire that’s just about intact. Certain parts of Asia and North America are booming right now.
Original post by 5hyl33n
Why should your parents have to pay for it? Studying in America isn’t exactly cheap…

It ain’t cheap. But I can take out loans. Hopefully get a good job. And pay it off in the distant future. There’s always a trade off.
Original post by Anonymous
It ain’t cheap. But I can take out loans. Hopefully get a good job. And pay it off in the distant future. There’s always a trade off.

I mean you're almost an adult, surely they can't just be controlling your future..

On a side note, I imagine the debt is a lot less in the UK than in the States, and you can always return to America after finishing your degree. However if you're set on US then don't let others stop you pursuing that!
That’s what I’ve been telling them bro. I’m 18 next year. And when that happens. They can’t do ****. It’s crazy that they are trying to do this. I’m tryna figure out how to fund college with zero percent of their input.

Original post by Buddy564
I mean you're almost an adult, surely they can't just be controlling your future..

On a side note, I imagine the debt is a lot less in the UK than in the States, and you can always return to America after finishing your degree. However if you're set on US then don't let others stop you pursuing that!
Original post by Buddy564
I mean you're almost an adult, surely they can't just be controlling your future..

On a side note, I imagine the debt is a lot less in the UK than in the States, and you can always return to America after finishing your degree. However if you're set on US then don't let others stop you pursuing that!


And I may not really have much of a choice when choosing the US or UK. US Citizens studying outside of the USA is not exactly a wise idea if especially if that US Citizen is g intending on earning an income in that country outside the US. USA has a very strange tax law where its citizens have to pay tax or file taxes and pay those taxes no matter where they are in the world. Though, Its not like a part time job in the UK whilst in Uni pays a lot. Average UK salaries for part time jobs are like 26,000 GBP. I would still have to file taxes EVERY YEAR to the IRS if I'm studying and have a part time job regardless of tax treaties that the UK has with the US or tax credits which I would have to apply for each year. I would have to file or pay taxes to both the US and UK if I study in the UK. Staying in England creates legal loops and limits my employment prospects.
Reply 17
I'm afraid you're being a bit naive here. Where are you planning to get these loans from? US banks will require a US based co-signor to guarantee them, and you won't be paying them off in the distant future, you'd have to start as soon as you graduate (or drop out). It's not like here where you don't start repaying until you're earning well...

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