The Student Room Group

Shake and and make up?

I'm thankfully no longer at school but this popped in to my head if I had a disagreement with another student at school (Happened a lot i was not popular.) the teachers often would try and get both parties to talk and then "Shake hands and apologise.' As if that made a blind bit of diffrence to the animosity felt between the two parties. Of course arguments got less physical and more verbal (although no less aggressive) as I went through the school. but it was always shake hands and make up we never made up but it seemed to satisfy the teachers.

My question is why were we made to have this sham apology when of we obviously would resume open hostility the next week or so? It just seemed to have no point.
Reply 1
It was a quick way to solve a conflict - The sham apology was a time efficient way to deal with the issue - it didn't matter whether it worked, it kept the class peace - You have a teacher with a class of many other kids to teach being held up by your self centred outbursts. Not just you two bone heads to deal with there are other kids waiting to learn. That is the purpose of the classroom.

You can talk about the disagreement later with your parents or someone else in school.
Original post by jonathanemptage
I'm thankfully no longer at school but this popped in to my head if I had a disagreement with another student at school (Happened a lot i was not popular.) the teachers often would try and get both parties to talk and then "Shake hands and apologise.' As if that made a blind bit of diffrence to the animosity felt between the two parties. Of course arguments got less physical and more verbal (although no less aggressive) as I went through the school. but it was always shake hands and make up we never made up but it seemed to satisfy the teachers.

My question is why were we made to have this sham apology when of we obviously would resume open hostility the next week or so? It just seemed to have no point.


It's because this ends the conflict between the people in the short-term and is pretty easy to make happen.
Probably trying to avoid the escalation of negative feeling into disruptive shouting.
Along with the type of insults and violent playground fights that can result in allegations of criminality or lawsuits against the school.

Possibly also to teach the student that peaceful conflict resolution should be the first resort and that reasonable differences of opinion between people are normal & should not be allowed to result in a slanging match/refusal to engage/physical aggression followed by intense grudges against 'the enemy'.
Reply 4
Your right, non genuine apologies are worthless. I guess it’s a typical bit of poor teacher coercion, seek to control in some way that you can
Original post by Zarek
Your right, non genuine apologies are worthless. I guess it’s a typical bit of poor teacher coercion, seek to control in some way that you can


Teachers are awful for this you should have see the trashing around trying to exercise some sort of control when we did our GCSE's.
Original post by Muttly
It was a quick way to solve a conflict - The sham apology was a time efficient way to deal with the issue - it didn't matter whether it worked, it kept the class peace - You have a teacher with a class of many other kids to teach being held up by your self centred outbursts. Not just you two bone heads to deal with there are other kids waiting to learn. That is the purpose of the classroom.

You can talk about the disagreement later with your parents or someone else in school.


I feel I should mention these outbursts were between lessons never during (well it was once in year 10) I didn’t start most of them but I sure as hell finished a few.

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