Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I like this guy, he likes me, but I don't want to go out wth him Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    In my halls at uni there is a guy here who really likes me. At first I was unsure about him. We got along really well, had loads in common and I thought he was quite attractive as well, but at the time I had just broken up with my long term bf and still had some feelings for him. Eventually I was completely over it and I ended up getting very drunk and me and this guy ended up kissing all night long. He was over the moon about it and was beaming the next day. Now I DO like him, but I really don't want a relationship right now. I'm enjoying being single and I don't want to be tied down or committed, especially as we live in the same halls and see each other all the time. A couple of days after we kissed I just decided to go out with him and see what happened but I could tell straight away it was wrong, so the next day I apologised profusely and said I wasn't ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends because it would have been unfair for me to just string him along. This was about 3 weeks ago now and it's been okay between us, but I can't figure out how I feel. When I am drunk all I want to do is get off with him - it's been 2 months since my ex and I broke up so it's a bit 'frustrating' - but I know that if I did it would complicate things because he has accepted that nothing is going to happen between us and I don't want a relationship, but I want him to know I like him. It's a weird situation and I just don't know what to do about it.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Then tell him the truth. Although you should probably leave the poor guy alone cuz you already caused him enough ****. But any way. And p.s you DID string him along.

    But your not asking about that. So ill answer what your asking. GO to him. Tell him your sorry, that you've been an idiot. ( its a good conversation start, trust me "). Tell him the truth, say look, i really like you, but i dont want to be tied down in a commited relationship right now, im in uni and im enjoying my freedom. I dont want anything serious. Are you okay with an " open relationship" ? See other people, friends with benefits, that sort of thing. Most guys will say yes but since he already " likes you " and probably has " feelings " for you...it might be hard. Any way if you think its worth it to break his heart, go for it. He sounds like a nice guy. You on the other hand...don't seem to know waht you want or like. And i think the reason you want him when your drunk is because drunk people usually act impusivly, on their feelings, rather than considering circumstances. So my guess is you may have feelings for the guy too...your just to stupid to admit it. Thats just my two cents
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds perfect for a non-serious, fun thing if you ask me.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I know I have already strung him along badly enough. Friends with benefits would be fine with me but I've hurt him enough already and it would just screw him up or string him along some more.

    I don't know what it is, I like him but I can't see myself going out with him. I'm starting to think I'm just scared of commitment :dontknow:
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Look you're at uni. Commitment there sucks, You just want to experience and meet new people. Theres time for commitment after. I know how you feel, im a guy remember. Like i siad, tell him the truth, if anything he will understand why you sent him so many mixed messages. At least the poor kid gets some closure.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    That's the thing, he's already trying to move on, he still talks to me all the time but he gives no physical contact anymore (he used to do things like try to hold me hand, dance with me when we went out etc). If I told him how I feel won't it just make it harder for him?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by catoutofthebag)
    That's the thing, he's already trying to move on, he still talks to me all the time but he gives no physical contact anymore (he used to do things like try to hold me hand, dance with me when we went out etc). If I told him how I feel won't it just make it harder for him?
    No, and who knows, maybe he feels like a little fling type thing
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Catou it depends, but dont spend your life wondering waht if. Do it. If you think its a mistake, sometimes you need to make those mistakes, so do it any way. It doesnt matter, give it a shot. It might work out for the best. And im sure he would say yes to an " open relationship / friends with privileges "
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Thanks for the advice, I'll have some more thinking

    (It's Cat btw )
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by catoutofthebag)
    In my halls at uni there is a guy here who really likes me. At first I was unsure about him. We got along really well, had loads in common and I thought he was quite attractive as well, but at the time I had just broken up with my long term bf and still had some feelings for him. Eventually I was completely over it and I ended up getting very drunk and me and this guy ended up kissing all night long. He was over the moon about it and was beaming the next day. Now I DO like him, but I really don't want a relationship right now. I'm enjoying being single and I don't want to be tied down or committed, especially as we live in the same halls and see each other all the time. A couple of days after we kissed I just decided to go out with him and see what happened but I could tell straight away it was wrong, so the next day I apologised profusely and said I wasn't ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends because it would have been unfair for me to just string him along. This was about 3 weeks ago now and it's been okay between us, but I can't figure out how I feel. When I am drunk all I want to do is get off with him - it's been 2 months since my ex and I broke up so it's a bit 'frustrating' - but I know that if I did it would complicate things because he has accepted that nothing is going to happen between us and I don't want a relationship, but I want him to know I like him. It's a weird situation and I just don't know what to do about it.
    Up till a few weeks ago i was in exactly the same situation. personally i would advice against the route which me and my 'friend' have taken of f-buddies because (im starting to realise now ) things could get really complicated/awkward when/if you were to fall out, seeing as how you live in the same halls.
    If you dont want a relationship with him dont lead him on because he already likes you and getting off with him will just confuse and f*** him up even more.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Don't worry cat, if he doesn't want to be firends with privileges, you always have me

    P.S - can i call you Kat rather? Its more sexy that way ^^ :cool:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Ew, no, it's a C and I'll keep it that way.

    The more I am around him the more I want to be with him. Maybe I'll just wait it out some more, see if I actually want a future with him because I know I can't mess around with his feelings more than I already have because I know how it feels and I don't want to do it to him
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    What's so great about being single. Another relationship can make you feel better, it doesn't have to be a rebound thing... sigh, the reasoning here seems silly to me, life is too short, and girls not knowing what they want so infuriatingly complicated.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    After being in a relationship for 1 year and 3 months, losing all my self esteem because I was dumped and realising all the crap I went through for love, it's nice to not have to put up with it for a while. I do miss it though.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Then the problem is bad relationships, and the fact that girls don't get out of them soon enough. You have to try and try again until you find a good one though obviously.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pendragon)
    What's so great about being single. Another relationship can make you feel better, it doesn't have to be a rebound thing... sigh, the reasoning here seems silly to me, life is too short, and girls not knowing what they want so infuriatingly complicated.
    this.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pendragon)
    Then the problem is bad relationships, and the fact that girls don't get out of them soon enough. You have to try and try again until you find a good one though obviously.
    It wasn't necessarily a bad relationship, it was amazing 90% of the time, that's just the negative things I'm remembering in my bitterness, I;d still just rather not be in one right now.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by catoutofthebag)
    just the negative things I'm remembering in my bitterness
    This I have had experience of, even when frankly the other person had no right to feel bitter, but it seems to be a necessary part of the healing process for many girls.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Until recently I thought I was the only guy in this position.....but as days go by I notice more and more threads on TSR similar to mine and this situation
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by itsmyname)
    Until recently I thought I was the only guy in this position.....but as days go by I notice more and more threads on TSR similar to mine and this situation
    So if you were the guy I'm talking about would you prefer I just keep it to myself and let you move on, or would you appreciate knowing the truth even if it makes things harder? Would it just get your hopes up?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 20, 2008
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.