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am i right to be annoyed?

I have had a crush on this girl at my Uni but unfortunately, I haven’t had the best moments to talk to her and get to know her because we both have very different schedules. However, she’s in my best friend’s course so he knew that I liked her when I told him last week. He was going to actually introduce me to her next Thursday.

Today, she asked him for help with some work she was doing in class as she was sitting next to him. He texted me today “I spoke to your crush. Dibs. Sorry”. Now because I didn’t speak to her much, I’m not actually by the thought of them dating. It’s more that he would go and do that when if it were me and he told me he had a crush on a girl, I wouldn’t even dare think about pursuing something with her. I’d respect him and encourage him to try talk to her. It just makes me think that if even I had a crush who I’d actually really been getting to know and was about to ask her out, he’d slide in and try pursue it.
No offence but your 'friend' sounds like a ****.
Original post by ROTL94 3
No offence but your 'friend' sounds like a ****.

Yeah I see what you mean. It defo gives me trust issues
Also just to clarify, if he approached me and actually said something like “hey I’m growing to really like that girl in my course you have a crush on. Since you guys haven’t really spoken properly as where I’m seeing her almost every day, would you have an issue if I wanted to pursue something with her? I’ll back off if you do”. At that point, I’d tell him to go for it and actually grow more respect for him. The way he approached in reality has really got under my skin
What gives you the right to try and control who does and does not speak to someone ?

She asked your friend for help. Why would you be annoyed by your friend for helping?
Original post by SpiderCrab
What gives you the right to try and control who does and does not speak to someone ?

She asked your friend for help. Why would you be annoyed by your friend for helping?

Erm, you clearly didn’t read half of what I said. Was I annoyed at my friend for helping her? NO. It’s the fact that he texted me “I spoke to your crush. DIBS. Sorry” after. You know, he’s now gonna try pursue something with her because he said dibs. ?????
Original post by SpiderCrab
What gives you the right to try and control who does and does not speak to someone ?

She asked your friend for help. Why would you be annoyed by your friend for helping?

Also maybe read the post I posted here ⬇️

Original post by Anonymous
Also just to clarify, if he approached me and actually said something like “hey I’m growing to really like that girl in my course you have a crush on. Since you guys haven’t really spoken properly as where I’m seeing her almost every day, would you have an issue if I wanted to pursue something with her? I’ll back off if you do”. At that point, I’d tell him to go for it and actually grow more respect for him. The way he approached in reality has really got under my skin
I can understand you being irritated but how can you be annoyed? You are trying to control access to someone you don't even know. There is nothing stopping you from having a conversation with her and getting to know what she is like as a person too.

Maybe she will prefer to spend time with you instead of your friend or maybe she will already be considering someone else as a potential boyfriend.

I wouldn't lose a friendship over this.
Reply 8
Hi there, You are making a lot of assumptions here, and they are not the best ones. The big green jealousy monster has crept out of it's cave. The crush you have your eyes on has her own mind and is hopefully intelligent? Just because she speaks to your mate it is not a cut and dried fact that she is all of a sudden is going to run off with him. She might think your mate is an absolute arse, a chancer and she might hate you too. Just because people have a laugh together does not mean they are now automatically married or an item. Lighten up.

Your mate is in an enviable position of opportunity, possibly cosying up to your crush, but letting you know. Big jealousy and big envy for you. Just go up and say hello and join in with them and the introductions. You have no absolute right to first dibs over any girl. The world doesn't work like that. Just because he met her first doesn't mean she has to have him. You have to meet hundreds of potential gf's and get used to just talking to them. When you are truly in love with a girl and she has the hots for you too you will look back on this episode and see it for what it is. Absolute inexperience and in the first stages of the bf/gf navigation. It's all very painful and very frustrating so don't take it personally. Only a few billion girls to get to know in a lifetime and it can take years to meet 'the one'. The more girls you meet, talk to and get to know the more you learn about yourself and the more you get to know about people, their motives, how they react and what makes people behave in the ways they do.

In between work as hard as you can as your future Uni will be more important (to meet thousands of young hopefuls) and keep your sense of humour. Let all the caustic feelings go. You are not yet Adonis.
Original post by Anonymous
Erm, you clearly didn’t read half of what I said. Was I annoyed at my friend for helping her? NO. It’s the fact that he texted me “I spoke to your crush. DIBS. Sorry” after. You know, he’s now gonna try pursue something with her because he said dibs. ?????


Do you mean Debs ?

:beard:
Your friend sucks.

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