Orgasms Through Penetration And Other Sexual Advice Please Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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Hi, could you please leave this as anon because my gf uses this site...

Hi everyone, this is my first thread and hopefully your be able to advise me

Basically im not able to get my gf to orgasim through penetration, is there something wrong with me?

I mean im just your average guy size wise, around 7inches and pretty normal girth but she tells me she'll never be able to through penetration, i have no trouble getting her to other ways im just wondering is it normal because i love her to bits and for us i know its about the love and the contact involved mroe than anything but i just want to be able to please her...

Another slight issue we have is that penetration sex hurts her lips, the thing is though is that she isn't dry at all, very much the opposite yet it still hurts them. she said she doesnt really enjoy penetration sex because it hurts her lips and can leave a slight burn after and i dont want to hurt her whilst having sex so i dunno what to do? Should i recommend she sees someone?

also i am her first and we have been dating for just over a year now in a long distance relationship so we dont get to very often, like once every 2 weeks and thats only been recently, before it used to be months before i'd see her. so could it be because of the time apart that were doing it?

I really do love her loads so i want her to enjoy that part as much as i do not just because of the emotion and the build up.

Any advice welcomed?
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emmarainbow
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Perhaps the lack of regular sex makes her a little tighter than she might otherwise be, but it's really common for a woman not to come from penetration, three quarters of women can't. Don't worry, you're perfectly normal!
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Jonny123
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(Original post by emmarainbow)
Perhaps the lack of regular sex makes her a little tighter than she might otherwise be, but it's really common for a woman not to come from penetration, three quarters of women can't. Don't worry, you're perfectly normal!
The hardest time to have an orgasm is when you want one!!!

An orgasm for most women is the "climax" of a slow burn - maybe start with a meal and a laugh - don't pressurize - enjoy the closeness and just let nature take its course.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jonny123)
The hardest time to have an orgasm is when you want one!!!

An orgasm for most women is the "climax" of a slow burn - maybe start with a meal and a laugh - don't pressurize - enjoy the closeness and just let nature take its course.
We usually do go for a meal or something first, i mean when we can and can't have sex is a little restricted as we only really can when her mum or dad aren't in as its a long distance relationship i go up there and stay there house but usually it's not a quick thing and comes by us just kissing and cuddling and then it sort of goes on from there... She does orgasim when i use my hand or if i lick her out which im more than happy doing and i have given her some intense ones but for her, penetration just hurts?
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RightSaidJames
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, could you please leave this as anon because my gf uses this site...

Hi everyone, this is my first thread and hopefully your be able to advise me

Basically im not able to get my gf to orgasim through penetration, is there something wrong with me?

I mean im just your average guy size wise, around 7inches and pretty normal girth but she tells me she'll never be able to through penetration, i have no trouble getting her to other ways im just wondering is it normal because i love her to bits and for us i know its about the love and the contact involved mroe than anything but i just want to be able to please her...

Another slight issue we have is that penetration sex hurts her lips, the thing is though is that she isn't dry at all, very much the opposite yet it still hurts them. she said she doesnt really enjoy penetration sex because it hurts her lips and can leave a slight burn after and i dont want to hurt her whilst having sex so i dunno what to do? Should i recommend she sees someone?


also i am her first and we have been dating for just over a year now in a long distance relationship so we dont get to very often, like once every 2 weeks and thats only been recently, before it used to be months before i'd see her. so could it be because of the time apart that were doing it?

I really do love her loads so i want her to enjoy that part as much as i do not just because of the emotion and the build up.

Any advice welcomed?
Lube. If that doesn't work, maybe she should see someone.
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Anonymous #2
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I used to find sex painful (used to because i'm single.. not cos i fixed the problem!) and eventually i went to the doctors about it. I suffered from a burning sensation during and afterwards, which tbh was agonising and would often leave me crying in the bathroom, while my bf wondered where i was. I'm assuming that you've tried using lots of lube btw..

Anyhow.. for me, it is a psychological problem called Vaginismus. http://www.vaginismus.com/
The doctor advised i try a few things to relax - one of which was consuming alcohol beforehand (this didn't work). Then he prescribed some prescription strength cocodamol to take about half an hour before sex - i never got the opportunity to try this as i was dumped (sigh) but it might have worked.

If you have tried lots of lube and other relaxation techniques, then it is def worth going to the doctor about it. I had a male doctor and, although it was scary to talk about this, he was really nice and just said "well, we can't have this, lets try and fix it".

Good luck. You sound like a nice guy, your gf is lucky.
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SilverWings
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(Original post by Jelkin)
How come, out of interest?
I just feel that clitoral and penetrative stimulation should be given pretty much the same 'focus' when it comes to people talking about sex, and they rarely are. All I ever hear these days is 'clit clit clit'. It isn't some magical wonderful thing, it's just one small part of a massive range of things in regards to sex.
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RightSaidJames
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(Original post by SilverWings)
I just feel that clitoral and penetrative stimulation should be given pretty much the same 'focus' when it comes to people talking about sex, and they rarely are. All I ever hear these days is 'clit clit clit'. It isn't some magical wonderful thing, it's just one small part of a massive range of things in regards to sex.
I agree too. The idea of the general population focusing on clitoral stimulation whilst having sex is rather laughable, no matter what the magazines tell us. Although obviously as part of a variety, it's a welcome addition.
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SilverWings
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(Original post by RightSaidJames)
I agree too. The idea of the general population focusing on clitoral stimulation whilst having sex is rather laughable, no matter what the magazines tell us. Although obviously as part of a variety, it's a welcome addition.
I'm not even bothered. Stimulate clitorally during sex if you like. Do it yourself, get your partner to do it - go for it!! It's good - I like it!! Just don't forget that sex in itself is pleasurable. People seem to talk about penetration as if it's only bearable if you use clitoral stimulation - bull. I love penetration. OK, so I can't orgasm from penetration alone [yet, at least], but I still bloody love it.

I just see thread after thread on here that are all 'I can't orgasm from sex alone' like it's this MASSIVE problem. And all the replies are mentioning the clit as if it's this magical fix-all. Sure, learn, make sure everything you and your partner is doing is helping your 'quest for orgasm' but you don't have to orgasm from sex, and clitoral stimulation or no, no one is guaranteed an orgasm from sex. I don't orgasm from sex alone, but any subscriber on here can tell you I love sex as much as I love my own mother [but obviously in very different ways :p:]. At the end of the day sex and sex alone is designed to be pleasurable. If it isn't then someone isn't doing something right or you have a bit of a problem, TBH.
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RightSaidJames
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(Original post by SilverWings)
I'm not even bothered. Stimulate clitorally during sex if you like. Do it yourself, get your partner to do it - go for it!! It's good - I like it!! Just don't forget that sex in itself is pleasurable. People seem to talk about penetration as if it's only bearable if you use clitoral stimulation - bull. I love penetration. OK, so I can't orgasm from penetration alone [yet, at least], but I still bloody love it.

I just see thread after thread on here that are all 'I can't orgasm from sex alone' like it's this MASSIVE problem. And all the replies are mentioning the clit as if it's this magical fix-all. Sure, learn, make sure everything you and your partner is doing is helping your 'quest for orgasm' but you don't have to orgasm from sex, and clitoral stimulation or no, no one is guaranteed an orgasm from sex. I don't orgasm from sex alone, but any subscriber on here can tell you I love sex as much as I love my own mother [but obviously in very different ways :p:]. At the end of the day sex and sex alone is designed to be pleasurable. If it isn't then someone isn't doing something right or you have a bit of a problem, TBH.
:ditto: everything [about sex, not the bit about an inability to orgasm] you just said. Furthermore, if my girlfriend was having sex with me just for the sake of having an orgasm, I wouldn't be best pleased. And vice versa.
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The Strangest Quark
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There's nothing wrong with you. A quick look through the sexual health section here and you'll see that loads of girls have trouble orgasming through penetration by itself. I'd recommend a nice long warm-up period of fingering before sex so she's already enjoying penetration before you go putting your willy in there, and then choosing positions such that you're more likely to hit her G-spot (the internet can tell you more, I unfortunately can't or my post will get deleted). She probably still won't orgasm, but hopefully she'll at least find it pleasant. Having sex with her on top might also help, so she can control for herself what's happening, if she experiments with different movements until she finds something she likes. Maybe you've tried that already and I'm just stating the bloody obvious, in which case sorry. And good luck
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Raddoun
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maybe she has an infection?
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Anonymous #1
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But i am her first and she is my second and i know im clean as a whistle because i got checked just to get free condoms.... though she keeps bouncing off and on the pill so i keep bouncing on and off those...
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fire_eyed_kitty
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i am a gal, and i av no probs workin o myself but my bf on the other hand does everythin aand really really tries, i just think he isnt gentle enough i dunno, they always work hard. i havnt thru penetration either but like i love im all the sme and i am not even sure how it appens ayway, all i know is girls makig girls *** is easier x but good luck, ask the girl and build up slowly x
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Findlay6
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Not having regular sex could be making her hurt, or the condom brand you use?
And most women dont orgasm in penetrative sex, i only do whilst im on top - so swap positions.
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randdom
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Please remember that explicit sex tips aren't allowed on TSR.

You might want to suggest getting your girlfriend to go to her doctor to talk about the problems that she is having. If she does have an underlying condition then there are things that can be advised to help her. She could ask to see a female doctor if that is something that would make her feel more comfortable. Make sure that you are using lubrication as that will probably help and also perhaps consider trying latex free condoms as if she is allergic to them that could be causing some discomfort.
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