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I want to be with him, but can't. Don't know what to do. Help! watch

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    Right well I’m in a bit of a sticky situation at the moment and not quite sure what to do about it, if anything at all, but I need to tell someone so here I am! :confused:

    There’s this guy at my university, we do the same course and in the same classes etc. Now we’ve been getting very close these last few weeks since uni started, I’d say we know each other pretty well now and are great friends. Basically, we both like each other and often flirt with each other, lots of hugs, poking, joking around with each other, long gazing eye contact etc. But there are two big fat problems…my faith (I’m Muslim) and my parents. Last week he finally admitted to me that he liked me and wanted to start something, I feel exactly the same way but because of the aforementioned two problems, I can’t do it. I’m not the most devout Muslim but it’s still a very important part of who I am, and hence I wouldn’t be able to tell my parents because they will never accept him. I explained this to him and he understood, but really wanted me to actually give it a go first before I broke off any of these ties. Anyhow, I couldn’t :no: and well he went out and got wasted trying to forget about what had just happened between us.

    We’ve just been at university for a week together living in the awkward aftermath of it all. We still get along pretty well but you can just tell there are lots of awkward phases. The problem is we still like each other, it’s not that easy to just simply get over each other and gradually that whole flirtation stuff is coming back. My friend keeps saying to me “You can feel the sexual tension in the air” and she’s right! Aargh, I just want to be with him and it breaks my heart knowing that we can’t and I don’t know what to do. I like being his friend so don’t want to severe those ties, but I feel there will eventually come a point where we’ll just get sick of each other if we can’t move on from it

    So there, rant finished. Just wanted to know what other people think and whether you’ve been in a situation like this.
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    Screw your parents, go out with him.
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    Kill him.
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    ah I'm a muslim, so I kinda know how you feel. But hey I'd say go out with him, flirt, kiss, be happy. just don't sleep with the guy lol because that I think that crosses the line.
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    I'm not really religious, so I can't understand the situtation completely, but it definitely sounds like an awful position to be in.
    From what you said, i took it as he isn't muslim, therefore your parents won't approve, rather than they just don't approve of you having relationships - this is a problem my friend has, she's decided to go for it anyway, and is keeping it from her parents. Dunno how that will work out though....
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    (Original post by jabed786)
    ah I'm a muslim, so I kinda know how you feel. But hey I'd say go out with him, flirt, kiss, be happy. just don't sleep with the guy lol because that I think that crosses the line.
    Lol yeah I'm not the most devout as in wear a headscarf but I still believe in all the values etc.

    The problem is I don't want him to be a dirty little secret, for lack of a better phrase. And nor does he. But I know for sure my parents, well mainly my dad, will NEVER accept him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The problem is I don't want him to be a dirty little secret, for lack of a better phrase. And nor does he. But I know for sure my parents, well mainly my dad, will NEVER accept him.
    Well that's his problem. Are you going to make yourself unhappy cause your dad is being irrational?
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    (Original post by nicky507)
    I'm not really religious, so I can't understand the situtation completely, but it definitely sounds like an awful position to be in.
    From what you said, i took it as he isn't muslim, therefore your parents won't approve, rather than they just don't approve of you having relationships - this is a problem my friend has, she's decided to go for it anyway, and is keeping it from her parents. Dunno how that will work out though....
    Nope he's not and very cynical about God, well mainly the Christian faith.

    I'm asian and he's white by the way.
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    Convert him?
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    Go for it.


    Religion/Faith always comes second when it comes to true love.











    OMG. The lines i come out with...seriously, i'm wayy toooo good...:yep:
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    (Original post by Democracy)
    Well that's his problem. Are you going to make yourself unhappy cause your dad is being irrational?
    You see everyone says that but its not that easy. I love my parents, I can't just screw them. But I do understand what you mean. It's too sad
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You see everyone says that but its not that easy. I love my parents, I can't just screw them. But I do understand what you mean. It's too sad
    No one's saying you shouldn't love your parents. But I'm assuming you're over 16, is your love life really any of their business? It is irresponsible and mean of them to put you in this situation of having to choose between them or your own happiness...
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    The problem is I don't want him to be a dirty little secret, for lack of a better phrase. And nor does he. But I know for sure my parents, well mainly my dad, will NEVER accept him.
    argh tis annoying isn't it? Whenever I go out with a girl even if she is just a close friend. I have ot lie, because going out with the oppsitie sex is a no no.

    *I can't ruin the family name, good god! that would be horrific, think of all the gossip my parents would have to face, I'll never find a good wife in the future with a damaged reputation*
    thats what role sin my parents minds plus its sinful in our religion to even hug the opp sex if she/he aint related.

    its not a 'dirty' secret though, mihgt be in their eyes but everyone is doing it these days. Iknow it sounds like your just jumping o nthe bandwagon but eventually someday when our generation become parents maybe we will allow our children to be more relaxed with relationship.
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    (Original post by Keith_Dave)
    Go for it.


    Religion/Faith always comes second when it comes to true love.
    when did 'true love' come into it; they just fancy each other!

    OP, if your mum would be more accepting of it, could you at least talk to your mum about it? this sort of situation seems to come up quite regularly on TSR, and it's such a shame that culture and religion is so divisive nowadays.
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    (Original post by Touche)
    Convert him?
    I didn't try to convert him, I wouldn't. But we had that discussion in a joking manner, but he doesn't want to be circumsized lol.
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    (Original post by jabed786)
    argh tis annoying isn't it? Whenever I go out with a girl even if she is just a close friend. I have ot lie, because going out with the oppsitie sex is a no no.

    *I can't ruin the family name, good god! that would be horrific, think of all the gossip my parents would have to face, I'll never find a good wife in the future with a damaged reputation*
    thats what role sin my parents minds plus its sinful in our religion to even hug the opp sex if she/he aint related.

    its not a 'dirty' secret though, mihgt be in their eyes but everyone is doing it these days. Iknow it sounds like your just jumping o nthe bandwagon but eventually someday when our generation become parents maybe we will allow our children to be more relaxed with relationship.
    See you understand the whole 'parents issue' thing. I'd happily let my kids date tbh.

    And yes I'm 18! It's frustrating because we're just so good together, he knows all my faces and expressions and its just so cute I agree about the whole reilgion and divisive-ness issue. Why can't the world just get along and be happy?!
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    i know you dont want to upset your parents, but if you two really want to be together should your parents not care more about their daughters happiness?
    i mean, i take it they dont like you going out with anyone? or is it because he is not religious like your family?
    Maybe you could agree to go out with him, keep it low-key and quiet for a bit, see how it goes, and talk to your parents about it - maybe your mum if you think your dad will be a bit harder to persuade.
    I mean, just because your going out with him doesnt mean your going to abandon your faith and jump into bed with him - am i right?
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    At what point are you going to break away from your parents? School? Uni? When you get your first "real" job? When you're already settled down in the exact life they want you to have, so you can't choose anything for yourself?

    This is your life, not your parents'. Do whatever you want to do. If your parents don't support you, but don't actually have a good reason not to support you, then tell them how you feel and do it anyway.
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    How about try to show him Islam? This is the best option if you want to maintain your religious values.
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    (Original post by OhNO!)

    when did 'true love' come into it; they just fancy each other!

    OP, if your mum would be more accepting of it, could you at least talk to your mum about it? this sort of situation seems to come up quite regularly on TSR, and it's such a shame that culture and religion is so divisive nowadays.
    You never know what it could lead too... :p:
 
 
 
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