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am I in denial over my sexuality? Am I really not straight

Hi. I don’t really know what to do. I have never once questioned my sexuality in the past. I had crushes on guys and wanted to be with them. It was just how it was, but after I watched a film about a gay person I had a sudden impulse to kiss my friend- she’s a girl. I hated thinking that but I couldn’t help it. I knew I would hate it. From there on I keep thinking about my sexuality. Whether or not I am really straight. I am totally not homophobic but i really don’t want to be gay/ no. The thought terrifies me but I just can’t get it out of my head. These thoughts will go away for a bit and I am back to my boy crazed normal self but they always come back and make me paranoid. I really struggle to look at girls the same way. I am terrified that I will become gay in the future and not have the life I have always hoped for. These thoughts burden my day and I can’t stop thinking and constantly searching for reassurance I’m straight. I’ve heard about HOCD and there are times when I believe I have it but then their are times I think I’m in denial. Am I? What can I do because I hate feeling this way. There are times when I think I want a relationship with a girl but in my gut I know I don’t. I just want to go back to how it was before. I have been in a relationship with a guy and still want another one but I’m so scared I’m not straight
What do I do? Am I in denial?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I don’t really know what to do. I have never once questioned my sexuality in the past. I had crushes on guys and wanted to be with them. It was just how it was, but after I watched a film about a gay person I had a sudden impulse to kiss my friend- she’s a girl. I hated thinking that but I couldn’t help it. I knew I would hate it. From there on I keep thinking about my sexuality. Whether or not I am really straight. I am totally not homophobic but i really don’t want to be gay/ no. The thought terrifies me but I just can’t get it out of my head. These thoughts will go away for a bit and I am back to my boy crazed normal self but they always come back and make me paranoid. I really struggle to look at girls the same way. I am terrified that I will become gay in the future and not have the life I have always hoped for. These thoughts burden my day and I can’t stop thinking and constantly searching for reassurance I’m straight. I’ve heard about HOCD and there are times when I believe I have it but then their are times I think I’m in denial. Am I? What can I do because I hate feeling this way. There are times when I think I want a relationship with a girl but in my gut I know I don’t. I just want to go back to how it was before. I have been in a relationship with a guy and still want another one but I’m so scared I’m not straight
What do I do? Am I in denial?

Why don’t you want to be gay?

But to answer your question, no you’re not gay if you like guys. You could be bi, for example, or just straight but with a bit of curiosity. It depends on whether you’re thinking “I want sex or a relationship with a girl” or “I wonder what it would be like if I kissed a girl.”

I suspect you’re just curious, especially as you only had these thoughts after watching a film with a gay person in it, but it shouldn’t be consuming your thoughts and you shouldn’t be “scared” of not being straight. There’s nothing wrong with it if you’re not :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I don’t really know what to do. I have never once questioned my sexuality in the past. I had crushes on guys and wanted to be with them. It was just how it was, but after I watched a film about a gay person I had a sudden impulse to kiss my friend- she’s a girl. I hated thinking that but I couldn’t help it. I knew I would hate it. From there on I keep thinking about my sexuality. Whether or not I am really straight. I am totally not homophobic but i really don’t want to be gay/ no. The thought terrifies me but I just can’t get it out of my head. These thoughts will go away for a bit and I am back to my boy crazed normal self but they always come back and make me paranoid. I really struggle to look at girls the same way. I am terrified that I will become gay in the future and not have the life I have always hoped for. These thoughts burden my day and I can’t stop thinking and constantly searching for reassurance I’m straight. I’ve heard about HOCD and there are times when I believe I have it but then their are times I think I’m in denial. Am I? What can I do because I hate feeling this way. There are times when I think I want a relationship with a girl but in my gut I know I don’t. I just want to go back to how it was before. I have been in a relationship with a guy and still want another one but I’m so scared I’m not straight
What do I do? Am I in denial?

Okay honestly, I don't think you're gay. Of course it's possible for you to be bi but that is for you to find out. When I was younger, I really didn't want to be gay either but now I am. You might be like that or this may be a little bump in the road for you to navigate. All in all, I don't think there is a reason to worry. I think your mind was jumbled up after watching that film and these urges will go away soon. If they don't - know that it is completely okay and there are many people who experience the same thing.
if it was only that one time that you felt an impulse to kiss your friend, it probably means nothing? We all have impulses that seem out of the ordinary from time to time, I wouldn't worry about it.
truthfully - you absolutely do not need to label yourself. i personally dont think it matters whether you're "straight" or "gay" or "bisexual" etc. if you find one day that you've fallen in love with a woman then you shouldn't let that scare you. (labels may bring comfort to some people but i think in your situation they could potentially just freak you out even more)
being curious is a totally healthy thing and its important to figure out who you are - but dont worry too much about it
first lets get this straight -- dont be
bk
Original post by slayedsambas
bk


oml how to do delete this

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