The Student Room Group

Boyfriend is friends with EX lecturer

So, this might be a long one, however i'm starting to feel like a bad girlfriend and need advice from people around my own age (F22), my family feel the same way i do about the situation.

When my boyfriend was 18, he started Uni, he made a friend in his class, his friend quickly became friends with their lecturer (senior law lec). In the past 4 years my male flatmates (along with my bf) met up with the lecturer at the pub which was okay with me, however he is known to hate women and base his lectures on rape, but thats another matter.

I've always been aware that my boyfriend and his mates had the lecturers number and message him on the regular, but one thing i do not like, is the lecturer has a fantasy about my boyfriend kidnapping him and stealing all of his money. Everytime bf went to lectures, the lecturer would comment about what he was wearing and whatnot. But the messages got weirder and weirder over time, things about kidnapping him and tying him up.
Rolls around to before their graduation this year and everyone in my flat moved home, apart from me and the bf, he met the lecturer atleast once a week to go to the pub, and even stayed at his own house.

the lec also messages him constantly, if the bf doesnt reply within the hour, he'll spam his phone.
So this september, the lecturer books an all inclusive holiday to Jamaica for him and my bf... he goes, he lied to me about them both staying in the same room. 40 year old man who fancies my bf in the same room, idk i think its beyond strange. He gets back from the holiday and the bf tells me that he never gets any weird messages from the lecturer, they just talk normally, however i woke up to a message on his phone from the lecturer and safe to say, things havent changed, he still sends exceptionally weird messages.

Am i wrong for wanting him to stop talking to him? i dont want a life partner going away every year with a creep, fearing for his safety.
This sounds like a frankly bizarre situation and it’s quite understandable that you’re not comfortable with it.
Is your bf receiving any references, help with employment opportunities or cash from the creepy law lecturer?
Does the creep have a history of dating students or hooking up with former students?
He sounds very disturbed.
So i know for a fact he hasnt ever helped him academically, nor given him cash. bf doesnt want to go into the law industry either. however, he has given him a balaklava for christmas, which ig fits in with the kidnapping fantasy, and a vintage football shirt.
i know the lec is still in contact with a guy he lectured about 8 years ago.
i don't want to say your bf is into it but why is he 1) not setting appropriate boundaries and 2) lying about details of his relationship with the lecturer?

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