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I'm about ready to go and kill someone. Advice please? Watch

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    I've been best friends with this girl, let's call her Jess, for nearly 10 years now. We've grown up together, always around each others houses, hugging, joking, watching terrible movies while cuddling and making fun of the actors. My best memories all include her; I can't imagine my life without her basically.

    But over the past year or so she's been acting weird. It started with her no longer wanting to bring me back to hers; instead she started coming to mine a lot more often. She'll flinch if I move too fast, she seems drained of energy and very recently (like within the past few weeks) she's started to throw off my arms when I hug her, like it makes her feel uncomfortable.

    This all started around about the same time her mum got a new boyfriend. I've had my suspicions for ages now, but how exactly do you phrase the question 'has he been hurting you'?

    Well last night the truth finally came out. I was joking with her, and she just wasn't laughing. She just stared right through me. So I snapped, and basically begged her to tell me what was wrong, and if the boyfriend had anything to do with it. She broke down and told me everything.

    Turns out that the ****** has been raping her, like every day. Every day! Every ******* day for the past year, and because I didn't think it would be polite to ask, I had absolutely no idea. Apparently he even hugs her afterwards, and tells her how great it was. So every time I was hugging her, I was reminding her of... him.

    Needless to say she's now living at mine whether she likes it or not, and I'm absolutely heartbroken. Jess is refusing to go to the police, because the guy has kids of his own, and she 'doesnt want to deprive them of a father'. Her mum apparently knows everything, but either doesn't care or is in such a massive state of denial that she won't even listen to logic.

    What can I do...? I'm physically restraining myself from just running over and punching him until the whole situation just doesn't hurt so bad. If I saw him again in person I don't think I could restrain myself.

    the only thing that's stopping me is that I just want to be there for her. And if I were to go to prison, then she'd have to move back in with him.

    I could just rant for ages, but I'm going to cut myself off there. Sorry if it's kind of jumbled, but my brain isn't really working right now. I just want to give her a hug, but I can't even do that anymore..
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    Tell the police. Now.
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    Go to the police yourself, and tell them. Right now. Don't let anyone stop you. If you are certain she is telling the truth, go to the police. You may lose a friend and she may hate you for it, but you cannot seriously consider taking matters into your own hands, or worse, forgetting it ever happened and just brushing it under the table like she seems to want to.
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    call the police asap!
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    Talk to a rape advisor, they deal with these kind of situations all the time to know what would be the best course of action in this case. Her not going to the police because he has kids is not the right thing to do because personally, I'd rather those kids be without a dad like that. I would not trust those kids around him. Don't do anything rash because doing so could jeopardise the possible case, just talk to an advisor and take it from there. Again, do not do anything that could cause harm to you or her! I hope this ******* gets whats coming to him.
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    (Original post by AWZC)
    Tell the police. Now.
    QFT.
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    If the bast*rd has kids of his own, they're more than likely in the same boat.

    Tell the police. Now.
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    Oh believe me if I thought it would do any good, I'd call the police without her consent.

    But she needs to testify that he raped her, and if she's unwilling to call them, why would she be willing to cooperate with them? She could just deny everything. And it's not like the boyfriend is going to admit anything.

    I'm still working on it. I have no love for the guy, and I'd love to see him off the streets.
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    (Original post by AWZC)
    Tell the police. Now.
    Definitely. This is such a horrible situation, good luck sorting it out man.
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    if osmeone raped me (I wish lol) for a year, I would go tell the police, regardless of how many kids they have..

    but if this is true, you don't have a duty to tell the police, mayb she does, but in no way does she have to. it's her own choice. if he has some money she could get him to do it again, catch it on a HQ camera, and take him to a Civil Court.. get loads of his money then

    but realistically... why does she want some children to live with a 'rapist', wouldn't they be better in child care? AND WOULDN'T HE BE BETTER BEHIND BARS?...

    1 thing though, before ytou go to the po-lice think about getting evidence, or it could all go tits up.

    and don't kill him lol..

    peace
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    **** man :indiff: Call the police...
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    You have got to tell the police or someone else that'll get him locked up. That is crazy, i feel like killing him as well, i can't imagine anyone could do such a thing, and he has kids! that's just messed up!

    It's up to you to tell some one because by the sounds of it your friend's mother doesn't seem to care which makes it even more upsetting, what kind of a mother would allow this to happen to her own child? And what kind of man (i use that term loosly) would do this to his partners child?! He doesn't deserve a life, even if it means his children don't have a father i think a father-less life would be better than a life with that monster.

    Just be there for your friend and reassure her it'll all be ok.
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    call the police, seeing him behind bars will be far more satisfying than throwing punches which will end up getting you punished.
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    You may deprive the kids of their father, but should they be with a man like that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh believe me if I thought it would do any good, I'd call the police without her consent.

    But she needs to testify that he raped her, and if she's unwilling to call them, why would she be willing to cooperate with them? She could just deny everything. And it's not like the boyfriend is going to admit anything.

    I'm still working on it. I have no love for the guy, and I'd love to see him off the streets.
    Maybe they can help in another way, you should definitely call.
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    Everyone's saying call the police without listening to the OP... what's the point if she's not willing to testify or even admit it?

    OP, I'd say call a rape counsellor, get your friend to talk to them as well if possible. She needs to deal with the emotional trauma of it. Only then will she be able to do anything.
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    I am absolutely horrified. It really upsets me that things like this happen. Its so good that you have been there and have been able to notice what has really been happening etc.
    Obviously her living at yours seems like the only solution for the time being, as she needs a safe getaway. Have you spoken to your own parents about this and asked for their advice?

    Going to the police now doesnt really sound like much of a possibility until your friend will testify against this disgusting excuse for a man, but in time once she is in a safe environment at yours and she feels she can trust adults again you may be able to make her step forward.
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    The police must be used to uncooperative victims; the situation is very serious and what else can you do?
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    Yeah I suppose that would be better. A counsellor would be able to perhaps convince her to cooperate with police and tell them. In the meantime, don't let her go home without you there, if this is somehow possible.
    THis is a very sad story, and upsets me alot.
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    Deprive the kids of the father for good man. He needs to be locked away for good. If you really care about this girl you'll go to the police. Would you rather her be hurt and raped for another year or longer, or see this ******* behind bars?

    I only wish that the guys he goes in prison with know what he is there for. Maybe they'll give him a taste of his own medicine, ******* scumbag.
 
 
 
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