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My Counselor is mean to me :( Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    Please keep anon.

    I started seeing a counselor about 3 months ago and I'm finding it quite strange. She's my first counselor so I don't know if it's just normal behaviour. I've been taking ADs for a year but I thought this too would help.

    My counselor was really nice at first, she seemed friendly enough. Now she's snappy, talks about herself and implys that I'm selfish for not asking her how she is and she is TRYING to help with my Social skills. (Hmm).

    I know so much about her just because everything seems to relate back to her. She'll ask me to talk about where I see myself in the future and then I'll answer and she'll say things like "Oh I'd love to go to Uni again, become rich" and get stroppy that I'm not asking her more. She also complains about her husband a lot.

    I've told her about my eating issues and she's pretty much said i should loose weight then I'd be happy :s:. I should add I am neither underweight or overweight and loosing weight would just put me in the underweight BMI category. But then again she is very thin and think she thinks I'm fat.

    A year ago I overdosed on sleeping pills (it wasn't a suicide attemp I just wanted to be unconcious/in a very very deep sleep). She seems to use this against me and say suicide is a very selfish act and even though I say I wasn't trying to I can't prove it. Urgh I just need help. She's my first counselor I don't know if it's this hard approach I need.
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    Sounds like she needs a counselor!! See if you can get a different one.... If your not getting on with her then no amount of counseling wil help x
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    shout at her.
    I think this is a tactic to get you to voice your feelings possibly?
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    sounds like SHE'S the one that needs councelling tbh
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    Could you maybe talk to whoever referred you to her (was it your GP?) and mention that she's not really helping you much, then they could switch you to a different counsellor if this one's not helping you?
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    She's not a proper counsellor. They're not supposed to give opinions or advice. Lodge a complaint and find a new one.
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    just fire her if you dont like her. i had one call me 'cheap' once so he got fired immediately. you dont have to put up with someone who's making you feel worse.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I could try and get another but I'd feel quite guilty and what if I were still seeing her and she knew I was trying to switch?

    She's not all bad it just sometimes it feels I'm having a conversation with a whiney, over sensitive friend and not seeing a counselor
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    some people just don't get on, it's nobodys fault but you should be able to get a different one if it's not working out. (for the record she sounds like a bad counsellor) but yeah, go back to GP or whatever =)
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    Is this an NHS councellor?

    You get what you pay for...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could try and get another but I'd feel quite guilty and what if I were still seeing her and she knew I was trying to switch?

    She's not all bad it just sometimes it feels I'm having a conversation with a whiney, over sensitive friend and not seeing a counselor
    Don't feel bad about it; you're not supposed to be there to form a mutually beneficial relationship. Your counsellor is paid to help you feel better - if they're not doing that, then they're not doing their job well enough and you deserve to find someone who can actually help you.
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    (Original post by SovietRussiaFH)
    Is this an NHS councellor?

    You get what you pay for...
    Not true - some NHS councellors are way beter than private
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    I think they got it wrong, I think you are her counsellor.
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    you have every right to ask to see someone else
    they wont ask why but they will find you someone else if there is someone else available
    i was seein a counsellor n altho she wasnt mean she was useless
    it works for some people n not others
    in her deffence shes not the only one who takes this approach to counsellin i have heard of many others like this
    but if your not happy n its really not workin try someone else x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon.

    I started seeing a counselor about 3 months ago and I'm finding it quite strange. She's my first counselor so I don't know if it's just normal behaviour. I've been taking ADs for a year but I thought this too would help.

    My counselor was really nice at first, she seemed friendly enough. Now she's snappy, talks about herself and implys that I'm selfish for not asking her how she is and she is TRYING to help with my Social skills. (Hmm).

    I know so much about her just because everything seems to relate back to her. She'll ask me to talk about where I see myself in the future and then I'll answer and she'll say things like "Oh I'd love to go to Uni again, become rich" and get stroppy that I'm not asking her more. She also complains about her husband a lot.

    I've told her about my eating issues and she's pretty much said i should loose weight then I'd be happy :s:. I should add I am neither underweight or overweight and loosing weight would just put me in the underweight BMI category. But then again she is very thin and think she thinks I'm fat.

    A year ago I overdosed on sleeping pills (it wasn't a suicide attemp I just wanted to be unconcious/in a very very deep sleep). She seems to use this against me and say suicide is a very selfish act and even though I say I wasn't trying to I can't prove it. Urgh I just need help. She's my first counselor I don't know if it's this hard approach I need.

    She's partly right in her frank assessments, but there are more professional and tactful ways to say things.


    Her conduct calls her ability to do her job effectively into question. She can't fix you. I'd complain and get a new one. She shouldn't act like that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could try and get another but I'd feel quite guilty and what if I were still seeing her and she knew I was trying to switch?
    Don't, fire her.
    She's sounds so unprofessional and useless.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon.

    I started seeing a counselor about 3 months ago and I'm finding it quite strange. She's my first counselor so I don't know if it's just normal behaviour. I've been taking ADs for a year but I thought this too would help.

    My counselor was really nice at first, she seemed friendly enough. Now she's snappy, talks about herself and implys that I'm selfish for not asking her how she is and she is TRYING to help with my Social skills. (Hmm).

    I know so much about her just because everything seems to relate back to her. She'll ask me to talk about where I see myself in the future and then I'll answer and she'll say things like "Oh I'd love to go to Uni again, become rich" and get stroppy that I'm not asking her more. She also complains about her husband a lot.

    I've told her about my eating issues and she's pretty much said i should loose weight then I'd be happy :s:. I should add I am neither underweight or overweight and loosing weight would just put me in the underweight BMI category. But then again she is very thin and think she thinks I'm fat.

    A year ago I overdosed on sleeping pills (it wasn't a suicide attemp I just wanted to be unconcious/in a very very deep sleep). She seems to use this against me and say suicide is a very selfish act and even though I say I wasn't trying to I can't prove it. Urgh I just need help. She's my first counselor I don't know if it's this hard approach I need.
    OP, to me it sounds like your counselor is intentionally acting this way so that you might think about her and engage with her, in order for you to have some sort of personal growth out of it. I don't really know of your situation except what you've written, but I advise you to confront your counselor about this and ask if it's intentional.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could try and get another but I'd feel quite guilty and what if I were still seeing her and she knew I was trying to switch?

    She's not all bad it just sometimes it feels I'm having a conversation with a whiney, over sensitive friend and not seeing a counselor
    There's no reason to feel guilty if she's not helping you, which she clearly isn't. Definitely switch.
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    Why not sit down with her and ask her very politly and calmly why is she treating you this way, just point out to her what she's doing and that you don't like it....

    or

    Punch the oxygen thief in the head!



    The choice I leave to you.....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon.

    My counselor was really nice at first, she seemed friendly enough. Now she's snappy, talks about herself and implys that I'm selfish for not asking her how she is and she is TRYING to help with my Social skills. (Hmm).

    A year ago I overdosed on sleeping pills (it wasn't a suicide attemp I just wanted to be unconcious/in a very very deep sleep). She seems to use this against me and say suicide is a very selfish act and even though I say I wasn't trying to I can't prove it. Urgh I just need help. She's my first counselor I don't know if it's this hard approach I need.
    Wtf!?!?! That is so wrong!!!!!!

    You really need to notify someone about that, I can tell you (from experience) that is not normal

    I feel so bad for you I know how hard counselling can be even when yu have a GOOD counsellor.
 
 
 
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