The Student Room Group

(tw) he pushed me to give him head even though i refused.

Hello, so since yesterday, i’ve been having a cold. My boyfriend came by to see me for a short while. During that time, he asked me to give him a b**w j*b but i said it’s not possible because of the condition in my house, there were a lot of people and stuff. But he kept on insisting although i explained the situation and showed my concerns. Then, i did it because i was afraid of him getting mad and giving me silence. We agreed on CNC but every time i told him there should be conditions, he refused because he said that "a deal is a deal" jokingly. Sometimes, it felt painful but he kept doing it although i had begged him to stop. That doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy doing it with him anymore because i love him and those moments mean a lot to me. How do i confront him about this without him getting mad or shrug it off like it’s nothing? And is CNC like this? I don’t want to be ignored.
Don’t want to offend you so don’t take this badly. You shouldn’t be afraid of him, no matter what, massive red flag. He shouldn’t pressure you into things and if you can’t talk to him about it then maybe rethink the relationship. Talk to him and get him to understand but it doesn’t sound good.
CNC is something that’s very complex and needs to be discussed at length, the most important part of it is a safe word and it doesn’t sound like you have one of those.
It sounds like an abusive relationship where you said ‘I begged him to stop’ then ‘that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy doing it with him anymore because I love him’.
You were sexually assaulted and violated. CNC is not and should not be like that, he sounds like the type of person CNC wouldn’t work with because he just wouldn’t listen to safe words or you hitting a limit.
Original post by ALEreapp
CNC is something that’s very complex and needs to be discussed at length, the most important part of it is a safe word and it doesn’t sound like you have one of those.
It sounds like an abusive relationship where you said ‘I begged him to stop’ then ‘that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy doing it with him anymore because I love him’.
You were sexually assaulted and violated. CNC is not and should not be like that, he sounds like the type of person CNC wouldn’t work with because he just wouldn’t listen to safe words or you hitting a limit.


What’s CNC?
Original post by Anonymous
What’s CNC?

consensual non-consent
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by black tea
consensual non-consent


But surely if she beg him to stop then he should have? It just doesn’t seem right to me.
Original post by Anonymous
But surely if she beg him to stop then he should have? It just doesn’t seem right to me.


He should have checked in with her to see if she actually meant stop or if it was part of the CNC especially if they don’t have a safe word established. But by the sounds of it, he doesn’t care hence why CNC won’t work for them.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
But surely if she beg him to stop then he should have? It just doesn’t seem right to me.

Not necessarily. As someone above said, CNC is complex and needs to be discussed with your partner beforehand, including things life safe words etc.

It clearly sounds like OP was not OK with what happened and needs to have an honest discussion with their partner.

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