a bad couple of years. Watch

daftndirekt
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#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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hi, im sort of writing this really in the hope that it will be cathartic- if not hen hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice.

Well it all started last summer, i was 15 at the time and one summer holidays. Long story short my mum was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and very almost died. This whole process was severly emotionally draining and still plays on my mind alot now (im 16 now) mainly because she still has the aneurysm and i just think, wow we could be back in that position one day. That scares the **** out of me.

After this event everything in my life seemd to go into a bit of a downward spiral, my friends seemd to be more and more distant with me and i just felt really alone and like i couldnt share my problems with anyone, not even my family because even now i feel i cant talk to them because im burdening them with my wories + theres.

In the october of that year my grandad was diagnosed with stomach cancer and started all of the chemo. It was so horrible to see my once enrgetic and lively grandad be reduced to a worn out man, who was embaressed of the fact he had no hair... This went on until christmas. Christmas last year was really bizarre, it felt like i was just sort of observing. After christmas my grandad had his cancer operated on and now is pretty much fully recovered.

I had a good summer, made loads of new friends, had a good time with parties and stuff and now i have a group of people who i feel more attatched to than my other friends.

However, recently my dad lost his job which has put a strain on my family, were all on edge, because we know that if my dad cannot get a job by january 1st then we will have to move house. Because of the financial stress everyone has been arguing alot lately and i jsut hate being around so i tend to go upstairs to my room. Add to this, my nan has just been told that she needs a major operation on her spine, again it was seeing her worried for the first time ever that really plays on my mind.

Last week my sister was admitted to hospital to have an operation. She has had the operation now but has been told that she has to go back for a major internal operation within the next couple of weeks.

I just feel that im constantly battling against bad things and its just an endless stream of bad things. I feel that its affecting my school work, not what i need in year 11 with GCSE's and courseowrk being rammed down my throat.

The thing is its not like im feeling unhappy all the time, sometimes i feel full of energy and in a brilliant mood but there just seems to be this 'weight' looming over me that just takes everythign away.

I just need an impartial view on everything.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report 10 years ago
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youve had a pretty tough year or so compare to most people your age.
wot youve went through with ur family members being ill cannot have been easy as for your friends im sorry to hear they drifted away yet glad you made new ones and that you do enjoy yourself, despite everything thats happened to you.
maybe talk to a teacher or older cousin you trust who you can explain stuff to even just to talk about things helps or even maybe get extra days to do homework or for them to be more considerate considering the circumstances.
the economy right now and jobs are kinda in trouble as you know so i hope ur dads manages to get it sorted.
make a point of having at least one nite a week for "me time" whether you go out with friends to have fun and chill out or to even have some dvds and junk food like chocolate etc so you can keep enjoying yourself....you poor thing!
theres always people to talk to on this
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Becky_90
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I spent a good 2/3 years going through alot of family stuff (Similar to yourself) while doing my GCSEs/A Levels.
Its good that you've got friends you feel attached to, could you maybe talk to them about some of the things? I know its really not easy to talk to family at times like this, you feel your loading your problems onto them along with their own problems. Sometimes its easier to talk to people who you arent as close to.

Maybe you could explain your circumstances to your school aswell. I tended to not really say anything, my school only really knew something had been going on when i was taking time of because of it. I'd reccommend telling them.

And like its been said, theres always people on here to talk to. Feel free to pm if you like and i hope things go ok for you
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libertine861
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I really sympathise with you, that's alot of pressure to be under at such a pivotal time in your life, when you're close to leaving school. I lost my dad when I was 16 years old and had just left school so I can relate to your worries. I grew up thinking my parents would live forever, obviously I knew that they wouldn't, but you just never expect it to happen when you are so young. My dad was quite ill before he died so I often worried about him but he kept getting better so I thought nothing more of it and then he died, and it took me by complete surprise.

That was six years ago now, I lost my step father this year, he died of Cancer, so I can appreciate how horrible it is watching the decline in your grandad. I really didn't know how to handle it myself because my dad died suddenly when we weren't expecting it, whereas with my stepdad, we knew he was going to die. I think it was good in a way because we had a chance to say goodbye to him and to try and make as many happy memories for him as we could, before he passed away. It was hard though, watching his decline and everytime my mum rang me at uni, I always expected the worst.

It's great news that your mother and grandad have recovered so hopefully they will be around alot longer but I think situations like this, make you appreciate your time with them more and that can only be a good thing. It puts things into perspective. I was studying for my final exams at uni when my step father passed away and it is hard to juggle your studying when you have stressful situations like that happening. I found it helped me to focus, studying was a way of getting my mind off things and in a strange way, it motivated me. I worried less about how well I was going to do in the exams because I realised how lucky I was to be alive and that my step father had far bigger problems than I had.

If it's any consolation, I did terrible in my GCSEs because I never worked hard at school or revised. Being working class, I just assumed I wasn't good enough to achieve the top grades and that I would just go from job to job like my parents had. When I finished school though, I was put on a course which knocked some sense in to me and got me motivated, and I subsequently ended up going to college and getting the top grades and then I got a 2.1 Law degree at University. So no matter how bad you do in your GCSEs, there is always a chance to turn things around at college and uni. You can always resit GCSEs as well, and in your case, you have genuine mitigating circumstances so I'm sure the exam board will take that into consideration.

Don't worry so much about your school work, some things are more important in life, your family being one of them. It's still important to revise and try your best but don't beat yourself up if you're finding it hard because of everything that has happened. It's alot to have on your shoulders. Things will get better, they definitely do. I've had some bad things happen to me but out of almost every bad thing, something good has come from it.
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daftndirekt
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wow, its good to see that there are other people who have been through same/ worse, good to see people on the other side. The past couple of days, after i wrote this ive felt like ive sort of got rid of, or atleast relieved my stress. Cant be bad can it!
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Becky_90
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Im glad.
Sometimes does just help to get it all out, even if not really looking for any kinda response or anything.
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