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Is it possible to be too attractive in this day and age?

Well the title says it all. Without trying to sound arrogant or conceited, my family and friends (the 2 of them hahah) say that I’m really good looking, attractive etc. I believe this too, I guess lucky genes or something?

My problem is tho I cannot get a girlfriend for love nor money. I’ve been on tinder and Badoo but with little success. I am a virgin, and the only ‘sexual’ encounter I had was when I was kissing a girl I briefly knew from my old workplace. I also did have 2 women who I known briefly from college express romantic interest in me, but that’s about it.

What are women attracted to? How do men actually get girlfriends?

About me: male, 21, 6”, slim build (quite slim!)

I am really shy and socially awkward but when I’m around the right people who I feel comfortable with I’m good at socialising. Do women look at men who are 21 with lack of sexual experience in a negative way?

My friend says I’m obsessing too much over being a virgin and it’s not a big deal. He said girls can sense desperation. He has has sex 3 times I’m like how the hell!

How do I improve confidence.

I had a date yesterday, we went for a walk and we both made very little talk the entire time. Bit weird

I am apparently an intel who gets bitter and angry when things go south, well when everyone around you is sexually active, and you are struggling to find someone, it gets frustrating!

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Original post by Anonymous
I’m really good looking, attractive etc. I believe this too, I guess lucky genes or something?


nah bro it's skill /s

I am really shy and socially awkward but when I’m around the right people who I feel comfortable with I’m good at socialising.


to paraphrase tim nokte, charisma beats good looking when good looking is shy and socially awkward
Original post by Anonymous
I am apparently an intel who gets bitter and angry when things go south, well when everyone around you is sexually active, and you are struggling to find someone, it gets frustrating!


you are really not missing out on much. focus on the positive things in your life, and stop comparing yourself to other guys.
Yes.
Some people won't approach those that they are intimidated by in terms of good looks, fame or wealth.
Nor respond positively to the dating overtures of people that they feel are out of their league or have nothing in common with.
Of course, very attractive people who have looks or wealth are also often magnets for pests.

But if you are regularly getting called an incel by friends and random strangers, that is a massive red flag.
Means that you are either giving entitled creep who spends too much time online type of vibes or very thirsty obnoxious jerk with too high standards.
Original post by londonmyst
Yes.
Some people won't approach those that they are intimidated by in terms of good looks, fame or wealth.
Nor respond positively to the dating overtures of people that they feel are out of their league or have nothing in common with.
Of course, very attractive people who have looks or wealth are also often magnets for pests.

But if you are regularly getting called an incel by friends and random strangers, that is a massive red flag.
Means that you are either giving entitled creep who spends too much time online type of vibes or very thirsty obnoxious jerk with too high standards.

It's a tough one because everyone says I'm a sweet lad but people haven't given me a chance, maybe by my looks Idk. But I do think I'm quite a good looking guy, a fair few people have said so. So what do I do here, I dont really want to make myself look ugly

I will admit I am desperate, but I keep going round and round in circles.
Original post by the bear
you are really not missing out on much. focus on the positive things in your life, and stop comparing yourself to other guys.


It's so easy to say that though when people aren't in my position. It's affecting my mental health when I feel like I'm missing out and not 'living' how other 21 year olds live so to speak.

Im starting to think it's my vibe.
Original post by HoldThisL
nah bro it's skill /s



to paraphrase tim nokte, charisma beats good looking when good looking is shy and socially awkward


Sorry dude I don't understand what you mean, truth be told

Do you mean personality beats good looks?
Original post by Anonymous
It's a tough one because everyone says I'm a sweet lad but people haven't given me a chance, maybe by my looks Idk. But I do think I'm quite a good looking guy, a fair few people have said so. So what do I do here, I dont really want to make myself look ugly

I will admit I am desperate, but I keep going round and round in circles.

How active is your social and working life?
Do you spend a lot of time around single women who date guys?
What are your dealbreakers?
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry dude I don't understand what you mean, truth be told

Do you mean personality beats good looks?

It definitely helps, I'd pick a mediocre looking guy with an awesome personality over a dashingly handsome guy with a meh personality any day.
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry dude I don't understand what you mean, truth be told

Do you mean personality beats good looks?


that is what i mean by charisma beats good looking yes
Original post by londonmyst
How active is your social and working life?
Do you spend a lot of time around single women who date guys?
What are your dealbreakers?


My social life is quite active I am pretty much with friends every day or near enough, I socialise with them a fair bit. In terms of work, not very active.

Don't really have any dealbreakers tbh. I don't mind if they smoke/drink etc. But in terms of qualities my dealbreakers are:
-Dishonesty,
- controlling,
- manipulative,
-not wanting children
- rude and poor manners.
Original post by HoldThisL
that is what i mean by charisma beats good looking yes


See that's what I don't get, I am told I'm a fun and unique guy, without wanting to sound arrogant I thought I would of had the whole 'package' so to speak.
Original post by Anonymous
Well the title says it all. Without trying to sound arrogant or conceited, my family and friends (the 2 of them hahah) say that I’m really good looking, attractive etc. I believe this too, I guess lucky genes or something?

My problem is tho I cannot get a girlfriend for love nor money. I’ve been on tinder and Badoo but with little success. I am a virgin, and the only ‘sexual’ encounter I had was when I was kissing a girl I briefly knew from my old workplace. I also did have 2 women who I known briefly from college express romantic interest in me, but that’s about it.

What are women attracted to? How do men actually get girlfriends?

About me: male, 21, 6”, slim build (quite slim!)

I am really shy and socially awkward but when I’m around the right people who I feel comfortable with I’m good at socialising. Do women look at men who are 21 with lack of sexual experience in a negative way?

My friend says I’m obsessing too much over being a virgin and it’s not a big deal. He said girls can sense desperation. He has has sex 3 times I’m like how the hell!

How do I improve confidence.

I had a date yesterday, we went for a walk and we both made very little talk the entire time. Bit weird

I am apparently an intel who gets bitter and angry when things go south, well when everyone around you is sexually active, and you are struggling to find someone, it gets frustrating!


Speaking from experience girls are turned off when we can see a guy compares himself to his friends too much, also we can sense the desperation when a guy obviously just wants some. That’s probably whats turning them off.
Original post by Anonymous
See that's what I don't get, I am told I'm a fun and unique guy, without wanting to sound arrogant I thought I would of had the whole 'package' so to speak.


but i thought you were shy and socially awkward?
as a girl , it is quite common that we find someone cute but we are too scared to go up to them!! especially if they are attractive, we think we are not good enough or they are already taken. if you are as attractive as you say you are , it is probably the same situation. be more confident, make your flirting more obvious, eye contact and also, smile more ^-^
No, it's not possible to be too attractive in this day and age or any day and age.

Whilst you are physically attractive, that's not enough in you as a man to be attractive enough to women.
That's why you've had no success up till now.

When you were on the walk yesterday, where you thinking about how awkward you felt? Or where you wondering what you could or should say?
That's unattractive when you do that, because it comes over as mentally weak.
You can't go for a walk in the park and do no flirting, teasing, fun with her and expect her knickers to drop to her ankles. That's not how women work.
Were you trying to bore her into bed with you?


Original post by Anonymous
See that's what I don't get, I am told I'm a fun and unique guy, without wanting to sound arrogant I thought I would of had the whole 'package' so to speak.

It sounds like right now, you don't understand what it is that women find attractive in men. And what they find unattractive. Crack that and you should start doing OK.

I'd give you the same advice that I gave in this thread:
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=97842438&highlight=
Original post by HoldThisL
but i thought you were shy and socially awkward?


In front of people I don't know well yes.
Original post by Anonymous
In front of people I don't know well yes.


well it doesn't matter how nice you are if you don't get past the front door with enough people to find a date
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
No, it's not possible to be too attractive in this day and age or any day and age.

Whilst you are physically attractive, that's not enough in you as a man to be attractive enough to women.
That's why you've had no success up till now.

When you were on the walk yesterday, where you thinking about how awkward you felt? Or where you wondering what you could or should say?
That's unattractive when you do that, because it comes over as mentally weak.
You can't go for a walk in the park and do no flirting, teasing, fun with her and expect her knickers to drop to her ankles. That's not how women work.
Were you trying to bore her into bed with you?



It sounds like right now, you don't understand what it is that women find attractive in men. And what they find unattractive. Crack that and you should start doing OK.

I'd give you the same advice that I gave in this thread:
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=97842438&highlight=


We were both mutually really awkward. There was a lot of 'so yeah' and it was quite dead. I thought she was after casual sex, but then she said on text before I was about to head off 'Its just a walk yk'. We did talk a bit throughout the walk it wasn't completely silent. She then said at 9:15 she has to go in. I even asked if she would like to chill somewhere. I got home and messaged 'Hey x' it was delievered for an hour so I blocked her.

It wasn't a good date. She never made clear what she wanted.
Original post by HoldThisL
well it doesn't matter how nice you are if you don't get past the front door with enough people to find a date


People judge my profile photos though so they aren't giving me a chance, but like the above user said it's maybe because they fear I'm too good or something

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