Hi
@Spelunker,
My PhD is in English Literature so I've not got the STEM perspective. But I think the PhD experience has commonalities across disciplines so hopefully this response will still be helpful.
Firstly, it doesn't surprise me that you might have come away with mixed impressions of the PhD experience from the talk you went too. Like many PhD students, I love my research but there's no getting away from the fact it's hard. I'd be lying if I said there weren't days when I wanted to walk away from it - and from academia all together - or times when I haven't cried at the sheer challenge and isolation of the whole enterprise, especially during Covid (which was a very isolating experience for many PhD students) and with the current financial challenges of the cost-of-living crisis.
I've stuck with it because I do love my subject, I genuinely believe my research will add to knowledge in my field, and I've been supported by amazing supervisors and peers. So whilst I'd definitely encourage someone who has genuine passion and interest in pursuing a particular course of study to pursue a PhD, I would also want them to be aware of the challenges along the way and to go into it knowing that it can, at times, be a long, lonely, and difficult thing to pursue, especially if you're also juggling your PhD with working, or caring/family responsibilities.
It's worth saying, however that there's support out there to overcome those challenges - and on the whole I genuinely do think universities are getting better at both providing and signposting this to PGR students. Having supportive supervisors and building a good peer support network is also key. At Keele, we have a separate postgraduate students union - the KPA - and their social events have been an absolute gift at times.
Given that many PhD students are, in essence, their own boss, learning to manage your time and to balance work and social life is a really valuable part of the PhD experience - and probably one of the most difficult things to master as you move from the more structured timetabling of Undergraduate and Masters programmes to the more freeform and independent experience of studying for a PhD. But it's an important balance as sometimes having a coffee with your fellow research students is really all that's needed to revitalise your energy and get your PhD back on track.
I think
@Cranfield University has provided some really good answers to your specific questions but I wrote a blog post for Keele called 'What does a PhD student actually do?' that might give you another perspective:
https://link.unibuddy.co/unibuddy/9kZGaJ5S6FmNjBga7. I'd also recommend a book by Rebecca Peabody called 'The Unruly PhD' which contains several case studies of PhD students that give real-world perspectives on the PhD experience. Several of her contributors sought careers outside of academia as well, so it's a good way of seeing the scope that the PhD can give you.
Hope that helps!

Amy Louise
PhD Candidate & Student Ambassador, Keele University