The Student Room Group

Struggling to make friends at Uni and find someone to live with

Hi everyone,
I’m a in the first year at uni and have been here for about four months. It hasn’t been the most smooth sailing ride, I had to move out of my original halls of residence because my flatmates were bullying me. I won’t go into much detail about this, but this made me feel very isolated and miserable. I’m at a new halls of residence now and am much happier here! The only thing is is that I’ve really been struggling to make friends. I have a boyfriend I met at uni and whilst we are so happy together, I feel that it’s important to have a life outside the relationship. I’ve voiced this concern and he’s totally agreed and taken it on board but I have no friends to even ask to meet up with! I missed the deadline for socials and because my course is really intense a lot of them clash with my lessons. I am extremely worried about housing, everyone around me knows who they are moving in with and have signed contracts ect . I have one friend on my course who is in the same position and whilst we plan on going together, we’re aware that we need more people. I’ve been really miserable because everyone around me is posting pics with friends and I don’t know why it’s so difficult. I’ve never struggled to make friends but i just get very lonely at uni…
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone,
I’m a in the first year at uni and have been here for about four months. It hasn’t been the most smooth sailing ride, I had to move out of my original halls of residence because my flatmates were bullying me. I won’t go into much detail about this, but this made me feel very isolated and miserable. I’m at a new halls of residence now and am much happier here! The only thing is is that I’ve really been struggling to make friends. I have a boyfriend I met at uni and whilst we are so happy together, I feel that it’s important to have a life outside the relationship. I’ve voiced this concern and he’s totally agreed and taken it on board but I have no friends to even ask to meet up with! I missed the deadline for socials and because my course is really intense a lot of them clash with my lessons. I am extremely worried about housing, everyone around me knows who they are moving in with and have signed contracts ect . I have one friend on my course who is in the same position and whilst we plan on going together, we’re aware that we need more people. I’ve been really miserable because everyone around me is posting pics with friends and I don’t know why it’s so difficult. I’ve never struggled to make friends but i just get very lonely at uni…


Remember no one’s life is as happy as they post on insta or whatever. Hope things get better. Maybe try attend society’s
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone,
I’m a in the first year at uni and have been here for about four months. It hasn’t been the most smooth sailing ride, I had to move out of my original halls of residence because my flatmates were bullying me. I won’t go into much detail about this, but this made me feel very isolated and miserable. I’m at a new halls of residence now and am much happier here! The only thing is is that I’ve really been struggling to make friends. I have a boyfriend I met at uni and whilst we are so happy together, I feel that it’s important to have a life outside the relationship. I’ve voiced this concern and he’s totally agreed and taken it on board but I have no friends to even ask to meet up with! I missed the deadline for socials and because my course is really intense a lot of them clash with my lessons. I am extremely worried about housing, everyone around me knows who they are moving in with and have signed contracts ect . I have one friend on my course who is in the same position and whilst we plan on going together, we’re aware that we need more people. I’ve been really miserable because everyone around me is posting pics with friends and I don’t know why it’s so difficult. I’ve never struggled to make friends but i just get very lonely at uni…


Hi Anonymous,
Sorry to hear that you're feeling isolated at university. You're definitely not alone, many students feel the same pressure to be making friends at uni and then sorting their accommodation for next year. My best advice would be to not focus on everybody who has already signed contracts, made massive friend groups etc. Doing this early doesn't necessarily mean you will have friends for life or a happy flat in your second year! We've recently wrote a blog about looking for second year accommodation which might help ease your mind (https://bit.ly/3h78ozt) and also a guide to managing loneliness (https://bit.ly/3G5yvAt).

It may be worth applying for private student accommodation as a pair and requesting to be allocated in a flat with similar people (e.g. other second years). The accommodation team will always do their best to make this happen, although it isn't guaranteed, but this means you'd get to live together but also potentially meet new friends in your flat. I'd also definitely say joining societies is a great way to meet like-minded people who you may end up becoming good friends with!

Hope this helps!

- Sophie

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