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how to tell a girl she’s hairy without offending hair?

There’s a girl i’m seeing but she’s really hairy and it turns me off. Her pubic hair is really thick and bushy and also her bum is hairy too. Plus she has a bit of hair around her nipples too. I didn’t even know girls could get hair there and I’m not sure she even realises her nipples are hairy either.

I’ve been unable to get an erection whenever we’ve tried to have sex because i find the hair a massive turn off and i feel a bit sick whenever i see it.

she’s asian and i spoke to my friends about it and they all said that asian culture is different to the west because asians don’t remove public hair apparantly.

not really sure what to do because i like her but how can i ask her to wax her nipples and bum and shave her pubic hair without sounding extremely offensive and having an awkward convo and upsetting her risking us ending.
do you remove your body hair? how would you feel if she told you to remove yours?
Original post by black tea
do you remove your body hair? how would you feel if she told you to remove yours?

yeah I remove mine, i regularly shave

Personally (if i didn’t already remove mine) i wouldn’t be offended if a girl asked me to.. but guys don’t get offended as easily as girls, girls get offended over everything, so i’m not sure how to approach this without upsetting her or causing her to get embarrassed and block me
Original post by Anonymous
yeah I remove mine, i regularly shave

Personally (if i didn’t already remove mine) i wouldn’t be offended if a girl asked me to.. but guys don’t get offended as easily as girls, girls get offended over everything, so i’m not sure how to approach this without upsetting her or causing her to get embarrassed and block me

Ask her if she likes you shaved? She might not like that
Original post by Anonymous
but guys don’t get offended as easily as girls, girls get offended over everything


not generalising in the slightest there :rolleyes:

sure you are mature enough to be having sex?
Original post by ageshallnot
Ask her if she likes you shaved? She might not like that

oh interesting strategy, as in to try get her to bring hers up with me specifically saying? like if i ask if she prefers me shaved then maybe after she will ask if i prefer her shaved? good idea but then how do i address the nipple thing
Original post by black tea
not generalising in the slightest there :rolleyes:

sure you are mature enough to be having sex?

true there are a small percent of guys out there that get offended easily so i’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you if you fall into that category

please don’t take this post personally I don’t mean to upset you, this is just for advice
Original post by Anonymous
true there are a small percent of guys out there that get offended easily so i’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you if you fall into that category

please don’t take this post personally I don’t mean to upset you, this is just for advice


I'm not upset, I'm amused lol
Make intense eye contact and bite it off like you're a cow. Works every time.
Original post by Anonymous
oh interesting strategy, as in to try get her to bring hers up with me specifically saying? like if i ask if she prefers me shaved then maybe after she will ask if i prefer her shaved? good idea but then how do i address the nipple thing

Or she might think that in your current state you look like the last chicken in the butcher's shop on a Saturday afternoon...
Original post by Anonymous
There’s a girl i’m seeing but she’s really hairy and it turns me off. Her pubic hair is really thick and bushy and also her bum is hairy too. Plus she has a bit of hair around her nipples too. I didn’t even know girls could get hair there and I’m not sure she even realises her nipples are hairy either.

I’ve been unable to get an erection whenever we’ve tried to have sex because i find the hair a massive turn off and i feel a bit sick whenever i see it.

she’s asian and i spoke to my friends about it and they all said that asian culture is different to the west because asians don’t remove public hair apparantly.

not really sure what to do because i like her but how can i ask her to wax her nipples and bum and shave her pubic hair without sounding extremely offensive and having an awkward convo and upsetting her risking us ending.

Women have body hair. All races and cultures, to a greater or lesser degree. It serves a purpose.

I recommend you and your friends have a refresher in basic human biology, and on how to be kind and not racist. Her body, her choice; it's also your choice to leave her for someone who appreciates her and isn't repulsed by normality.

You'll get a shock when you find a white girlfriend and it turns out they have pubic hair and hairy nipples...
It’s her body, so she can do what she wants with it. It your problem, not hers, plus she can’t help where she grows more or less hair.

It seems like you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.
Original post by Anonymous
There’s a girl i’m seeing but she’s really hairy and it turns me off. Her pubic hair is really thick and bushy and also her bum is hairy too. Plus she has a bit of hair around her nipples too. I didn’t even know girls could get hair there and I’m not sure she even realises her nipples are hairy either.

I’ve been unable to get an erection whenever we’ve tried to have sex because i find the hair a massive turn off and i feel a bit sick whenever i see it.

she’s asian and i spoke to my friends about it and they all said that asian culture is different to the west because asians don’t remove public hair apparantly.

not really sure what to do because i like her but how can i ask her to wax her nipples and bum and shave her pubic hair without sounding extremely offensive and having an awkward convo and upsetting her risking us ending.


pun intended on the title of the thread?
Honestly, I don’t mind hair on girls lol (as a guy). I never really got what was so repulsive about it and actually some girls I’ve spoke to have been ashamed and insecure to let it grow because of guys like you.

The only way really to get around this is to talk to her, have a mature conversation about it.
(edited 1 year ago)
She'll know she has body hair. Pointing it out isn't going to be a revelation for her. Not shaving is just as much a choice as shaving. She's already made the decision not to.

Telling a woman she's unattractive to you unless she shaves is not going to go down well. Don't try to shame her or make her feel insecure about her body. You can state your preferences, if you want to get into that argument, but don't expect her to suddenly do things differently. When my partner and I had that conversation, it was in the context of what could improve our sex life, and no pressure was made to make any changes.
Hair can't be offended.
Original post by Surnia
Women have body hair. All races and cultures, to a greater or lesser degree. It serves a purpose.

I recommend you and your friends have a refresher in basic human biology.

You'll get a shock when you find a white girlfriend and it turns out they have pubic hair and hairy nipples...

Exactly, body hair on women is completely natural, as normal as it is for guys. It annoys me when girls/women say removing it makes them feel more "feminine", because it's completely natural. Obviously it became a western thing that body hair on women isn't normal. But it kind of sounds like saying "Having toes makes me feel less feminine."
It's her choice to shave or not, if you don't like it then end the relationship. Don't body shame her about something perfectly natural just because you didn't even know it was possible.

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