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My boyfriend isn’t very romantic?

My boyfriend is a very very kind person. He always puts other people first and in terms of personality and being good person he is second to none. He is protective, caring and genuinely cares about me.

He just doesn’t think out of the box though. He never buys flowers ( I don’t care if it’s a £1 flower it’s just the thought that counts) I’ve hinted many times that the vase is empty or that the flowers I’ve bought have nearly died. Yet he still doesn’t get them.

For Christmas he hasn’t bought his family anything, I know boys typically don’t think outside the box but I’ve bought his mum and dad presents knowing fully well my boyfriend won’t ( of course I don’t mind saying it’s from the both of us) but I also know for a fact he hasn’t got me anything for Xmas! I know Xmas isn’t about gifts but it’s the thought that counts.

I’m always the one booking weekends away, holidays etc. I genuinely get excited about them because they’re with my boyfriend and not just cos it’s a nice beach but he doesn’t think about booking anything himself?

He loves my cooking which I’m v flattered about and I genuinely love cooking for him but he never suggests going out for dinner now and then unless I suggest it?? He does pay ( I offer) but again it’s the suggestion coming from him rather than myself is what I’m after.

I have told him this stuff before and he says that I should know he loves me and that stuff doesn’t defy his love and of course it doesn’t but idk it would just be nice!
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend is a very very kind person. He always puts other people first and in terms of personality and being good person he is second to none. He is protective, caring and genuinely cares about me.

He just doesn’t think out of the box though. He never buys flowers ( I don’t care if it’s a £1 flower it’s just the thought that counts) I’ve hinted many times that the vase is empty or that the flowers I’ve bought have nearly died. Yet he still doesn’t get them.

For Christmas he hasn’t bought his family anything, I know boys typically don’t think outside the box but I’ve bought his mum and dad presents knowing fully well my boyfriend won’t ( of course I don’t mind saying it’s from the both of us) but I also know for a fact he hasn’t got me anything for Xmas! I know Xmas isn’t about gifts but it’s the thought that counts.

I’m always the one booking weekends away, holidays etc. I genuinely get excited about them because they’re with my boyfriend and not just cos it’s a nice beach but he doesn’t think about booking anything himself?

He loves my cooking which I’m v flattered about and I genuinely love cooking for him but he never suggests going out for dinner now and then unless I suggest it?? He does pay ( I offer) but again it’s the suggestion coming from him rather than myself is what I’m after.

I have told him this stuff before and he says that I should know he loves me and that stuff doesn’t defy his love and of course it doesn’t but idk it would just be nice!


Literally tell him this, nothing will change unless u tell him. He can’t read ur mind. Hope things get better
Some guys are just like this, I’d say I’m the same. His values are simply not to buy gifts for people, he may show his affection towards you in other ways.

IMO, I understand you want the kind gesture of a gift but I feel like personally it isn’t that big of a deal. This is just my opinion though.
Original post by Anonymous
I have told him this stuff before and he says that I should know he loves me and that stuff doesn’t defy his love and of course it doesn’t but idk it would just be nice!

He's just not the type of person. That's something you're going to need to accept about him rather than expecting him to change.

If this is something you're unwilling to accept and think will always be a point of contention, then you might need to consider that you two have incompatible love languages.
(edited 1 year ago)
There's always the possibility that you're in love with him, so you only see the good in him. Not buying you or your family anything for Christmas, particularly when they're buying him presents, doesn't sound like a "good person" who "puts other people first." I don't really celebrate Christmas but if someone gives me a Christmas card, I give them one in return. It really isn't that hard to be reciprocal.
I'm exactly like this and I'm very romantic. Just tell him, don't hang on an issue and hide it. My mum has mentioned that I don't buy things and I do feel guilty, but I never do things out of guilt.

I see where you're coming from when it comes to not assisting with the holidays. Definitely tell him about it.
Some people just aren't romantic. My husband is very similar (I've had flowers from him a grand total of 3 times in twenty-one years).

You can try telling him, but he may still not change his ways.
This probably isn't about him being not romantic and not in love with you because he reassures you that he does but more about different love languages. It's something I've learnt over time and I feel like its really important to realize that people don't show love to you the same way you show love. The love languages you show may not be the same ones you wish to receive either and its important to learn your partner's love languages on how they want to receive love and how they show it to remind yourself that they do care. There's words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts or giving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Your love languages which you like receiving seem to be quality time and receiving gifts, and its something which you've got to tell him about. His might be words of affirmation, in how he shows his love for you. It would just make you upset or feel not as fulfilled because of the mismatch. Explain it to him and tell him how you feel loved when he shows you love in that way. My boyfriend shows his love for me through receiving gifts but he likes me showing him affection by quality time the most. I feel loved when there is physical touch, and I show my love through words of affirmation the most. I just had to pick up on his favorites and he had to work through mine for us to be able to show each other we care in a way that made each other happier.
Reply 8
Oh me neither but I'm not sure most of this falls under 'romance' so much as 'sharing responsibility'.
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend is a very very kind person. He always puts other people first and in terms of personality and being good person he is second to none. He is protective, caring and genuinely cares about me.

He just doesn’t think out of the box though. He never buys flowers ( I don’t care if it’s a £1 flower it’s just the thought that counts) I’ve hinted many times that the vase is empty or that the flowers I’ve bought have nearly died. Yet he still doesn’t get them.

For Christmas he hasn’t bought his family anything, I know boys typically don’t think outside the box but I’ve bought his mum and dad presents knowing fully well my boyfriend won’t ( of course I don’t mind saying it’s from the both of us) but I also know for a fact he hasn’t got me anything for Xmas! I know Xmas isn’t about gifts but it’s the thought that counts.

I’m always the one booking weekends away, holidays etc. I genuinely get excited about them because they’re with my boyfriend and not just cos it’s a nice beach but he doesn’t think about booking anything himself?

He loves my cooking which I’m v flattered about and I genuinely love cooking for him but he never suggests going out for dinner now and then unless I suggest it?? He does pay ( I offer) but again it’s the suggestion coming from him rather than myself is what I’m after.

I have told him this stuff before and he says that I should know he loves me and that stuff doesn’t defy his love and of course it doesn’t but idk it would just be nice!


i would talk to him about it. If hes a "good person" then he would buy presents etc

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