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    Classic!
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    Manchester United's march towards the 2003/04 Premiership title continued today with a stunning display at White Hart Lane. The Super Reds went ahead just before the kick-off when Giggs was sent away down the left wing.

    His cross was handled on the half way line by a Spurs defender and a penalty was awarded for this cynical foul. Ruud Van Nistlerooy stepped up to slot the ball home for United's 33rd penalty of the season. It was no more than United deserved.

    The 15th minute saw the Super-Smashing Reds go two up after Jamie Redknapp was penalised for coughing just outside the area. David Beckham's resultant free kick was slightly miss-hit, but even if the keeper was not being pinned to the floor by Roy Keane, he would not have saved it. 2-0. It was no more than United deserved.

    The 21st minute saw more trouble for Spurs when Mariccio Tarrico was sent-off for enquiring about the referee's Man United shirt. However two minutes after the interval Spurs struck back after an amazing piece of good fortune. The referee's assistant could only parry Simon Davies' shot and Robbie Keane thumped the ball home. Confusion reigned for 10 minutes as the entire Manchester United squad surrounded the referee, arguing that the referee's assistant had been fouled 15 minutes earlier. The referee grudgingly had to give the goal even though he racked his brain for a reason to disallow it.

    Alex Ferguson was furious and rushed down from his seat in the stand to the dugout, knocking over a number of blind, disabled, pensioners in wheel-chairs on the way down. Fortunately, things settled down again as Paul Scholes took a long-range shot, which deflected off the corner flag but had clearly crossed the line, 3-1. It was no more than United deserved.

    Just after the restart, un-sportsmanlike Dean Richards was dismissed for making ridiculous claims for a penalty after Roy Keane had nearly decapitated Robbie Keane. The referee and his assistant missed the incident as they were both asking David Beckham for his autograph, but replays showed that Keane's flying kung-fu kick, followed by a forearm smash was clearly unintentional.

    Ten minutes later Ferguson took off Beckham and replaced him with Nicky Butt, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, and Diego Forlan. Wonderful, wonderful Man United's 4th came shortly after. Robbie Keane was caught offside just outside the Spurs penalty area and Beckham's free-kick thundered in after deflecting off the underside of the flood lights. It was no more than United deserved.

    The super, marvel, wonder Reds kept the pressure on until the bitter end. In the 98th minute Ledley King conceded a free kick just outside his own area for blatantly glancing at the referee. Giggs stepped up and proceeded to chip the ball right into the referee's path and he made no mistake from 10 yards. Goal number 5 and it was no more than United deserved.

    Van Nistlerooy slotted home number 6 from the penalty spot after Freund went down with a broken leg. Fortunately Roy Keane was nearby when it happened and, after running 50 yards, he was able to bring the incident to the referee's attention. Unfazed by Freund's cynical tactics, protruding bone and spraying blood, the referee sent him off for diving (and time wasting) and awarded United the penalty. Van Nistlerooy cheekily chipped the ball over the keeper and the crossbar, but the referee decided that it was a goal, because based on past records, Van Nistlerooy rarely missed.

    When the final whistle went after 33 minutes of injury time, Spurs traipsed off with their heads low, having been taught a footballing lesson by what is by far the greatest team the World has ever seen. As the losers hit the showers, a superb flowing movement by United culminated with a fine diving header by Alex Ferguson
    and it was 7-1. However the referee decided that it was such a good goal, it should count double.

    8-1 then - and it was no more than United deserved.

    http://www.laughfc.co.uk/stories/story.php?id=370
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    (Original post by Dr. Blazed)
    Manchester United's march towards the 2003/04 Premiership title continued today with a stunning display at White Hart Lane. The Super Reds went ahead just before the kick-off when Giggs was sent away down the left wing.

    His cross was handled on the half way line by a Spurs defender and a penalty was awarded for this cynical foul. Ruud Van Nistlerooy stepped up to slot the ball home for United's 33rd penalty of the season. It was no more than United deserved.

    The 15th minute saw the Super-Smashing Reds go two up after Jamie Redknapp was penalised for coughing just outside the area. David Beckham's resultant free kick was slightly miss-hit, but even if the keeper was not being pinned to the floor by Roy Keane, he would not have saved it. 2-0. It was no more than United deserved.

    The 21st minute saw more trouble for Spurs when Mariccio Tarrico was sent-off for enquiring about the referee's Man United shirt. However two minutes after the interval Spurs struck back after an amazing piece of good fortune. The referee's assistant could only parry Simon Davies' shot and Robbie Keane thumped the ball home. Confusion reigned for 10 minutes as the entire Manchester United squad surrounded the referee, arguing that the referee's assistant had been fouled 15 minutes earlier. The referee grudgingly had to give the goal even though he racked his brain for a reason to disallow it.

    Alex Ferguson was furious and rushed down from his seat in the stand to the dugout, knocking over a number of blind, disabled, pensioners in wheel-chairs on the way down. Fortunately, things settled down again as Paul Scholes took a long-range shot, which deflected off the corner flag but had clearly crossed the line, 3-1. It was no more than United deserved.

    Just after the restart, un-sportsmanlike Dean Richards was dismissed for making ridiculous claims for a penalty after Roy Keane had nearly decapitated Robbie Keane. The referee and his assistant missed the incident as they were both asking David Beckham for his autograph, but replays showed that Keane's flying kung-fu kick, followed by a forearm smash was clearly unintentional.

    Ten minutes later Ferguson took off Beckham and replaced him with Nicky Butt, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, and Diego Forlan. Wonderful, wonderful Man United's 4th came shortly after. Robbie Keane was caught offside just outside the Spurs penalty area and Beckham's free-kick thundered in after deflecting off the underside of the flood lights. It was no more than United deserved.

    The super, marvel, wonder Reds kept the pressure on until the bitter end. In the 98th minute Ledley King conceded a free kick just outside his own area for blatantly glancing at the referee. Giggs stepped up and proceeded to chip the ball right into the referee's path and he made no mistake from 10 yards. Goal number 5 and it was no more than United deserved.

    Van Nistlerooy slotted home number 6 from the penalty spot after Freund went down with a broken leg. Fortunately Roy Keane was nearby when it happened and, after running 50 yards, he was able to bring the incident to the referee's attention. Unfazed by Freund's cynical tactics, protruding bone and spraying blood, the referee sent him off for diving (and time wasting) and awarded United the penalty. Van Nistlerooy cheekily chipped the ball over the keeper and the crossbar, but the referee decided that it was a goal, because based on past records, Van Nistlerooy rarely missed.

    When the final whistle went after 33 minutes of injury time, Spurs traipsed off with their heads low, having been taught a footballing lesson by what is by far the greatest team the World has ever seen. As the losers hit the showers, a superb flowing movement by United culminated with a fine diving header by Alex Ferguson
    and it was 7-1. However the referee decided that it was such a good goal, it should count double.

    8-1 then - and it was no more than United deserved.

    http://www.laughfc.co.uk/stories/story.php?id=370
    LMAO
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    From that site, I found THIS
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    (Original post by PublicSchoolAnn)
    Anyone play? What level do you play at?
    I play in the school's 1st team.
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    I love playing with hockey sticks.
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    (Original post by mc_watson87)
    Read it...

    ...Haha :rolleyes:

    ...probably would have found it more funny if I didn't support Man uTd.
    Probably
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    Talking of Ruud van Nistelrooy.

    http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/NYLAKrex.html
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    (Original post by Dr. Blazed)
    Manchester United's march towards the 2003/04 Premiership title continued today with a stunning display at White Hart Lane. The Super Reds went ahead just before the kick-off when Giggs was sent away down the left wing.

    His cross was handled on the half way line by a Spurs defender and a penalty was awarded for this cynical foul. Ruud Van Nistlerooy stepped up to slot the ball home for United's 33rd penalty of the season. It was no more than United deserved.

    The 15th minute saw the Super-Smashing Reds go two up after Jamie Redknapp was penalised for coughing just outside the area. David Beckham's resultant free kick was slightly miss-hit, but even if the keeper was not being pinned to the floor by Roy Keane, he would not have saved it. 2-0. It was no more than United deserved.

    The 21st minute saw more trouble for Spurs when Mariccio Tarrico was sent-off for enquiring about the referee's Man United shirt. However two minutes after the interval Spurs struck back after an amazing piece of good fortune. The referee's assistant could only parry Simon Davies' shot and Robbie Keane thumped the ball home. Confusion reigned for 10 minutes as the entire Manchester United squad surrounded the referee, arguing that the referee's assistant had been fouled 15 minutes earlier. The referee grudgingly had to give the goal even though he racked his brain for a reason to disallow it.

    Alex Ferguson was furious and rushed down from his seat in the stand to the dugout, knocking over a number of blind, disabled, pensioners in wheel-chairs on the way down. Fortunately, things settled down again as Paul Scholes took a long-range shot, which deflected off the corner flag but had clearly crossed the line, 3-1. It was no more than United deserved.

    Just after the restart, un-sportsmanlike Dean Richards was dismissed for making ridiculous claims for a penalty after Roy Keane had nearly decapitated Robbie Keane. The referee and his assistant missed the incident as they were both asking David Beckham for his autograph, but replays showed that Keane's flying kung-fu kick, followed by a forearm smash was clearly unintentional.

    Ten minutes later Ferguson took off Beckham and replaced him with Nicky Butt, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, and Diego Forlan. Wonderful, wonderful Man United's 4th came shortly after. Robbie Keane was caught offside just outside the Spurs penalty area and Beckham's free-kick thundered in after deflecting off the underside of the flood lights. It was no more than United deserved.

    The super, marvel, wonder Reds kept the pressure on until the bitter end. In the 98th minute Ledley King conceded a free kick just outside his own area for blatantly glancing at the referee. Giggs stepped up and proceeded to chip the ball right into the referee's path and he made no mistake from 10 yards. Goal number 5 and it was no more than United deserved.

    Van Nistlerooy slotted home number 6 from the penalty spot after Freund went down with a broken leg. Fortunately Roy Keane was nearby when it happened and, after running 50 yards, he was able to bring the incident to the referee's attention. Unfazed by Freund's cynical tactics, protruding bone and spraying blood, the referee sent him off for diving (and time wasting) and awarded United the penalty. Van Nistlerooy cheekily chipped the ball over the keeper and the crossbar, but the referee decided that it was a goal, because based on past records, Van Nistlerooy rarely missed.

    When the final whistle went after 33 minutes of injury time, Spurs traipsed off with their heads low, having been taught a footballing lesson by what is by far the greatest team the World has ever seen. As the losers hit the showers, a superb flowing movement by United culminated with a fine diving header by Alex Ferguson
    and it was 7-1. However the referee decided that it was such a good goal, it should count double.

    8-1 then - and it was no more than United deserved.

    http://www.laughfc.co.uk/stories/story.php?id=370
    Lol that was brilliant! I tried to give you rep but i've already given some today.
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    (Original post by ~Sam~)
    Lol that was brilliant! I tried to give you rep but i've already given some today.
    lol, likewise. if i could give any rep! that is pure class
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    Breaking news: Arsenal have confirmed that they are opening up a special zoo in an attempt to pay for their new home and have already assembled some interesting exhibits.

    The Seaman Emu (harfwaylinus cocup)

    This emu is respected throughout the world for it's legendary protective instincts. However, it is known to flap aimlessly when attacked by any member of the Keano Massivus species.

    The Keown Ape (ugliuss bastid)

    A primate often found on the fringes of the England team. It's horrendous facial structure has excluded it from acceptance within his community.

    The Viera Giraffe (peahead criybabi)

    This long gangly creature has an incredibly small head, which contains an even smaller brain which makes it prone to illusions. The Viera Giraffe will often think he's been attacked by other creatures and lets out an ear-piercing whine, when in fact he is the aggressor.

    The Ljundberg Urangutang (klosett homo)

    A rare species due to it's sexual attraction to other members of the same sex and will take a female partner purely to diguise this fact. Note its unusual colouring as an attempt to woo other like minded animals.

    The Bergkamp dodo (parstit yiddophan)

    Flightless with a big beak. The Bergkamp Dodo was once a bird that was the envy of anything with two wings. But it developed a revolting red plumage and has since become a non-flying joke as he is so expensive to keep but provides little entertainment value.

    The Wenger Vulture (kidee mollstur)

    A vile scavenger who prays on the offspring of other creatures, his hooked beak and beady eyes are instantly recognisable. Strangely can be seen to give a cheeky smile if fed with a packet of sweets.
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)
    Breaking news: Arsenal have confirmed that they are opening up a special zoo in an attempt to pay for their new home and have already assembled some interesting exhibits.

    The Seaman Emu (harfwaylinus cocup)

    This emu is respected throughout the world for it's legendary protective instincts. However, it is known to flap aimlessly when attacked by any member of the Keano Massivus species.

    The Keown Ape (ugliuss bastid)

    A primate often found on the fringes of the England team. It's horrendous facial structure has excluded it from acceptance within his community.

    The Viera Giraffe (peahead criybabi)

    This long gangly creature has an incredibly small head, which contains an even smaller brain which makes it prone to illusions. The Viera Giraffe will often think he's been attacked by other creatures and lets out an ear-piercing whine, when in fact he is the aggressor.

    The Ljundberg Urangutang (klosett homo)

    A rare species due to it's sexual attraction to other members of the same sex and will take a female partner purely to diguise this fact. Note its unusual colouring as an attempt to woo other like minded animals.

    The Bergkamp dodo (parstit yiddophan)

    Flightless with a big beak. The Bergkamp Dodo was once a bird that was the envy of anything with two wings. But it developed a revolting red plumage and has since become a non-flying joke as he is so expensive to keep but provides little entertainment value.

    The Wenger Vulture (kidee mollstur)

    A vile scavenger who prays on the offspring of other creatures, his hooked beak and beady eyes are instantly recognisable. Strangely can be seen to give a cheeky smile if fed with a packet of sweets.
    lol
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    50 facts you never knew about Gazza
    1) One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.

    2) When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse: "Church Of England."

    3) On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

    4) On first meeting with Lazio's president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Bud Abbot.

    5) Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with film of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing 'F***ing W***ker'. The BBC had to use it all the way through the tournament.

    6) Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

    7) Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. F**k off Norway." Then ran off laughing.

    8) Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his sock.

    9) When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined £39,000.

    10) Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.

    11) After paying for ex-wife Sheryl's breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to 'Dolly Parton'.

    12) Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver said yes, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza's impromptu performance.

    13) Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

    14) Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.

    15) Has taken the p*** out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.

    16) Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.

    17) While attempting to deflect the 'kebab controversy' which spelled the beginning of the end of his England career, assured reporters that his doner-munching antics following Middlesbrough's promotion to the Premiership would in no way affect his fitness before France 98. One reporter asked: "What do you feel like now?" Back came the inevitable response: "I feel like a kebab with onions."

    18) As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.

    19) As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the Newcastle Underground.

    20) When playing for England against Belgium in Italia 90, ridiculed Enzo Scifo as he lay on the ground clutching his leg. Gazza thought he was play-acting, so did a mime of his own which involved hopping on one leg with his tongue lolling out.

    21) His attempt to jet off to Libya with Middlesbrough for a post-season tour was hampered by the fact he'd left his passport at home. An emotional Gazza wept at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to bring it to the airport.

    22) Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic boobs and stomach bearing the legend 'Gazza'.

    23) On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.

    24) Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.

    25) Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen wearing nothing but his training socks and ordered lunch.

    26) Paid £320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.

    27) Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.

    28) Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

    29) Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused £310,000 worth of damage.

    30) While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping team-mate Richard Gough.

    31) Handed £1000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn't withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds. Jimmy could. Twice.

    32) After briefly giving up drinking, was advised to find a new interest. Picked bingo.

    33) Bought a £1000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza Towers and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."

    34) Stuck his tongue out when the TV cameras panned past him during the national anthem at Italia 90.

    35) Prepared for England matches during that hugely important tournament by playing marathon games of tennis in the scorching midday sun.

    36) Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the 1991 FA Cup Final.

    37) In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for 'photo opportunities'. 38) While his Italia 90 team-mate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barbers and demanded "a Waddle cut".

    39) When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, "We'd like to thank you for the best three days of our lives."

    40) Asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London after guests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.

    41) On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

    42) Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you f***ing w***ers".

    43) Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.

    44) Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn't ever bear to see the numbers 4 and 9 together. Oddly, the combination of 5 and 8 was deemed OK. 45) Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh".

    46) While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.

    47) While reputation preceded him in Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: 'Gazza's Boys, We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer'.

    48) Conversely, rival Italian supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: 'Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta'.

    49) After being sent off while playing for Lazio, shook hands with virtually every member of the Genoa side.

    50) While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"
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    an old joke, but a classic nonetheless:

    Alec F is visiting Highbury..Arsene W tells him that foreign footballers are more intelligent than home grown..."i dont think so " says Alec..AW calls Denis Berkamp over "Your fathers son is not your brother who is he?" "oh thats easy" says denis "its me"...

    Next day Alec calls David b in.."tell me son, your fathers son is not your brother who is he"? David thinks and says" can I think about it boss and come back to you?" That night he asks Victoria the same question.."I'm not sure" she says "phone Jaap Stam he'll know". DB phones JS and asks "thats easy he says its me"

    Next day Db goes to see the boss "i've worked it out he says its Jaap Stam" "Get off you daft bugger" says Alec "its Denis Berkamp!"
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    Arsenal lose to their rivals Man U, one fan is so depressed that he goes home and can’t face anymore, so he hangs himself.
    Very soon (and somewhat surprisingly) he finds himself at the gates of Heaven.
    He knocks on the pearly gates and St Peter appears wearing a Spurs scarf and says "Yes! What do you want?".
    The Gooner replies, "Hello, I'm an Arsenal fan and I’ve just died. So, can I come into Heaven?"
    St Peter ponders "I don't know about that. We have certain criteria as to who we let in and being a Gooner doesn’t fit any of them!".
    "But I'm really a good person and I should be allowed to get in".
    St Peter asks "So, what good things have you done in your life then? Being a Gooner is obviously not one of them !"
    The Arsenal fan says "Err, about three weeks ago I gave 10 quid to The Save The Children".
    Saint Peter responds "Yes, is that all ?"
    The Gooner pauses and says "Then about two weeks before I died, I gave another 10 quid to Help The Aged".
    The winged guardian of Heaven murmurs "That's good, but is there anything else you've done?".
    Remembering, the Highbury Heathen says "Yes, Yes. A couple of days before I passed away I did donate another 10 quid, this time to the RSPCA". St. Peter said "Let me think for a minute, you gave about 30 quid in total to charity before you died and despite being a Gooner, you think you're a good person who deserves to come into Heaven? Well wait here, I'll have a chat with God and get back to you."
    10 minutes later St. Peter returns and said "I spoke to the Boss and he told me to give you this". With which St Peter hands the Gooner 30 quid and said "Here's your money back! Now SOD OFF !!"
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    (Original post by mockel)
    an old joke, but a classic nonetheless:

    Alec F is visiting Highbury..Arsene W tells him that foreign footballers are more intelligent than home grown..."i dont think so " says Alec..AW calls Denis Berkamp over "Your fathers son is not your brother who is he?" "oh thats easy" says denis "its me"...

    Next day Alec calls David b in.."tell me son, your fathers son is not your brother who is he"? David thinks and says" can I think about it boss and come back to you?" That night he asks Victoria the same question.."I'm not sure" she says "phone Jaap Stam he'll know". DB phones JS and asks "thats easy he says its me"

    Next day Db goes to see the boss "i've worked it out he says its Jaap Stam" "Get off you daft bugger" says Alec "its Denis Berkamp!"
    I've heard that loads of times but it's still great!
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    A Tottenham van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Arsenal fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their ubiquitous red colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud 'THUMP' and then he would swerve back on the road.
    One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over.

    He asked the Priest “Where are you going, Father?”

    ”I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road” replied the priest.

    ”No problem Father! I'll give you a lift! Climb in!”

    The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw an Arsenal fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the bloody priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the Gooner. However even though he was certain he missed the red shirted fan, he still heard a loud 'THUD.'

    Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said ”I'm sorry Father, I almost hit the Arsenal fan.”
    "That's okay” replied the priest. ”I got him with the door!”
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)
    lol...very funny
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)
    A Tottenham van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Arsenal fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their ubiquitous red colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud 'THUMP' and then he would swerve back on the road.
    One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over.

    He asked the Priest “Where are you going, Father?”

    ”I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road” replied the priest.

    ”No problem Father! I'll give you a lift! Climb in!”

    The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw an Arsenal fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the bloody priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the Gooner. However even though he was certain he missed the red shirted fan, he still heard a loud 'THUD.'

    Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said ”I'm sorry Father, I almost hit the Arsenal fan.”
    "That's okay” replied the priest. ”I got him with the door!”

    served him right, damn gooner :mad:
 
 
 
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The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

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