In a relationship who should call who more? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Just had a major argument with my gf about calling each other. B/c were at different uni's everyday we have to call each other.

Even though we both call each other equally she gets really upset because she says I never call her (which is bs) and she says when she calls its always for 30+ mins and I only call for short (not true).

Anyway she said I should be ashamed of myself because in relationships its ALWAYS the guy who's calling his gf and it's like shes the "MAN" in this relationship. I said stop talking BS b/c its not true and I play things fair so the number of times u call me is the number of times im gonna call u.

Am I not right though? I mean I thought in like a marriage the husband is always out working and the wife is always calling him asking where he is, when hes getting home etc.

So who should call who more in a relationship? Who's right me or her?

keep anan as she reads tsr
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ßlαcksωαn
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#2
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#2
Stop fighting over pety things, make it a 50-50 thing if you wanna get that dramatic about it. Maybe she's acting like that way because of something else...like she's missing you and feels you don't care if you don't call or something.
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squeak
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#3
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neither of you are right, seems like there are deeper issues if you're arguing over who phones who, control issues maybe?

unless it's actually as petty as it sounds, to sterotype and make an issue because you're not conforming to it seems stupid.

Talk to her about it, and make an extra effort to show you do call.
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death.drop
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#4
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I think generally the girl calls the guy more, but obviously not everyone's the same.

you should just tell her it's a really petty thing to argue over. does it matter who calls who? it's not like you're refusing to answer her calls or anything.

maybe you should just send the odd text (if you don't already) to say you miss her or whatever, just so she feels like you're thinking of her as well. maybe she's not coping as well as you with the long distance thing.
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Punk Phloyd
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#5
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Judging from previous relationships it seems to be the girl always calls the guy (far too often in lots of cases... :|).

Thank god my girlfriend doesnt needlessly ring me all the time. That is one of the worst things they could do in my opinion.
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Anonymous #1
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i think it is deeper issues thing because she says i always worry about her bills bla bla.. what could other issues be? We really love each other but argue alot and I just wanna stop fighting and just be happy with her. How can I win guys?
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chaywa
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#7
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If bills are an issue then get Skype, it's pretty easy to set up and has no running maintenance charges.

Honestly whatever works, there should be no set amount about whether who should call who. Just do it when it feels natural and worthwhile, not 'for the sake of it'
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PhilMc
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#8
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Tell her to stop being so immature. If you make calling someone like a routine it becomes a chore. You should be calling someone because you want to, not because 'Oh it's Tuesday 7PM, my turn!'
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Anonymous #1
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oh and she says she always looks like a dog b/c apparently its always her calling me so whats her problem? i swear 2 u guys if anything ive called her for longer than she has for me so how can we overcome this???
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squeak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i think it is deeper issues thing because she says i always worry about her bills bla bla.. what could other issues be? We really love each other but argue alot and I just wanna stop fighting and just be happy with her. How can I win guys?
stop treating it like a competition.
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Anonymous #1
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oh and say if im in a lecture and she calls me i cant pick up but i text her "im in a lecture, can u call me at 5 please?" and she doesnt reply or call me at 5. Then I call her at 8 asking her why didn't she call me when i finished uni and she's like "well im not ur dog calling u all the time".. I MEAN WTF?? This really infuriates me and I get really upset.. I mean whats her problem?

Why do girls do this?
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Electric_Dreams
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#12
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"It's just the same a stupid game..."

If anyone knows which song this is, I'll +rep them. :p:
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Rock Fan
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#13
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Well I think she needs to learn to stop being so possessive, it's quite simple that if you don't answer it's because you are busy not because you are ignoring her. This is an extremely petty thing to be fighting over but if I were you, you both need to talk and realise it doesn't matter who calls each other more as long as you are both in contact. I do wonder though if she's got deeper issues here if she's kicking up such a fuss.
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squeak
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(Original post by Electric_Dreams)
"It's just the same a stupid game..."

If anyone knows which song this is, I'll +rep them. :p:
The Cure, Let's go to bed.
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fisherman
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#15
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(Original post by Electric_Dreams)
"It's just the same a stupid game..."

If anyone knows which song this is, I'll +rep them. :p:
It's the Cure. Lets go to bed?


And to keep on topic, OP it doesn't matter who calls. Just call her when you want, and vice versa. It shouldn't be a chore.
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squeak
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#16
Report 10 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oh and say if im in a lecture and she calls me i cant pick up but i text her "im in a lecture, can u call me at 5 please?" and she doesnt reply or call me at 5. Then I call her at 8 asking her why didn't she call me when i finished uni and she's like "well im not ur dog calling u all the time".. I MEAN WTF?? This really infuriates me and I get really upset.. I mean whats her problem?

Why do girls do this?
please don't generalise this.

and her problem? how are we supposed to know, go and call her and make sure everythings alright. She's obviously got issues about your relationship/in general and they're presentiing themselves in this form.
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Electric_Dreams
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#17
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(Original post by fisherman)
It's the Cure. Lets go to bed?


And to keep on topic, OP it doesn't matter who calls. Just call her when you want, and vice versa. It shouldn't be a chore.
Yep, but too late as squeak got it first. :o:

I do however agree with what you've written here.
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Tootles
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
*snip*
If you want to talk, then call. It's not a duty, it's something you want to do, isn't it? If she wants to talk to you so derperately, then she should ring you.

Possible alternative: got computers and Internet access? Get a microphone and get a webcam (if you've not already got them) and use Video Conferencing on MSN or Skype, then neither one has to really call the other.
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Erradhadh
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#19
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#19
How silly -- is this real? Is this even a question? Isn't this a tad childish? There are days when someone is busy, etc. Should not you be confident enough to know that a phone call doesn't make or break a relationship?

Plus, some people are just -better- at calling. I don't know how to explain that quality, but it exists.
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