Have I done the right thing? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
This is getting me down. Please advise! I'm a guy in final year at uni.
In Freshers' Week I met a girl, a fresher, and we became friends. I liked her and we had a lot in common. We hung around together for a few weeks, with other friends, had coffee etc. We got on well, but I didn't fancy her or like her "in that way."
But it became obvious that she liked me and she made it known to friends that she wanted me as a bf. I didn't feel the same, and I plucked up the courage to tell her so, in a nice gentle way, or so I thought. I thought it was best to be honest right from the start.
Now she has become very depressed and is talking about being "rejected" and "hurt". I never intended to hurt her or mess her around. I don't know what to do for the best. Should I butt out and leave her alone or should I stay around and try to be friends?
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Brannan
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#2
Report 10 years ago
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I think you need to give her some time before you go back and try being friends otherwise she won't be able to start the process of getting over you...

I just ended it with my girlfriend and she's going through the same thing... Just going to give her space...
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KJ21
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#3
Report 10 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This is getting me down. Please advise! I'm a guy in final year at uni.
In Freshers' Week I met a girl, a fresher, and we became friends. I liked her and we had a lot in common. We hung around together for a few weeks, with other friends, had coffee etc. We got on well, but I didn't fancy her or like her "in that way."
But it became obvious that she liked me and she made it known to friends that she wanted me as a bf. I didn't feel the same, and I plucked up the courage to tell her so, in a nice gentle way, or so I thought. I thought it was best to be honest right from the start.
Now she has become very depressed and is talking about being "rejected" and "hurt". I never intended to hurt her or mess her around. I don't know what to do for the best. Should I butt out and leave her alone or should I stay around and try to be friends?
Well firstly I think you did the right thing to tell her you didnt like her in that way and not string her along. I reckon you should try and be friends with her. Dont mention why you didnt like her though, just say I really didnt want to hurt your feelings, your a fresher Ill be leaving Uni next year and be going off to work e.t.c. And your in final year you wont have time for a g.f. properly and stuff. I think shes just depressed at moment maybe shes finding uni stressful, or homesick? Just comfort the girl.
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JaKoelsch
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#4
Report 10 years ago
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Yeah, you did the right thing. You can't lie to yourself and to her about your feelings. She would have been hurt no matter how you told her, and that is not your fault. It is better you tell her now before things get out of hand, and you have bigger problems. Let her know that you still really value her (if you do) as a friend, and this doesn't mean that you want to stop hanging around with her, you just don't want to give her the wrong impression.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, it sucks, but you have to let her heal on her own.
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