The Student Room Group

I keep losing feelings.

Please, please, please. Don’t judge me here.

I seem to go through phases, of being completely, and totally obsessed with a crush for about a week, or two, at a push. Then, I lose all feelings, and interest.

This has happened 3-4 times, and I’ve been asked out shortly after, but by that time, I’ve lost interest.

I don’t understand why I can’t just be normal, and keep interest.

I really do want a relationship, I constantly fantasise about being in one. Yet, I’m so afraid of hurting my partner, if I lose feelings quickly.

Is this normal, or, how can I keep the feelings around?

Please help a girl out.
Reply 1
It's because it's just a crush and there's nothing substantial to sustain your feelings. It will be different if you meet the right person.
Original post by Surnia
It's because it's just a crush and there's nothing substantial to sustain your feelings. It will be different if you meet the right person.

Do you think? Wouldn’t all relationships start out as a crush, though? Perhaps I’m just reading too deeply, haha. Thanks!
Original post by Anonymous
Please, please, please. Don’t judge me here.

I seem to go through phases, of being completely, and totally obsessed with a crush for about a week, or two, at a push. Then, I lose all feelings, and interest.

This has happened 3-4 times, and I’ve been asked out shortly after, but by that time, I’ve lost interest.

I don’t understand why I can’t just be normal, and keep interest.

I really do want a relationship, I constantly fantasise about being in one. Yet, I’m so afraid of hurting my partner, if I lose feelings quickly.

Is this normal, or, how can I keep the feelings around?

Please help a girl out.


It might be that you’re more attracted to their appearance rather than the personality. Maybe you want a relationship so much that you see someone that fits your physical idea of a partner and expect to be head over heels when in reality, you just like the idea of that person and when you get to know them you fall out of that crush.

To like someone properly, long term you have to like something beyond looks. Their personality has to attract you. This is the only way I see it making sense so my bad if I’m giving you the wrong answers. It does sound like to me that you really just want a partner and rush yourself through the actual process of liking someone. Just let life go by and you will find someone you truly like, and hopefully they will have the same feelings towards you.
Original post by blitterflicker
It might be that you’re more attracted to their appearance rather than the personality. Maybe you want a relationship so much that you see someone that fits your physical idea of a partner and expect to be head over heels when in reality, you just like the idea of that person and when you get to know them you fall out of that crush.

To like someone properly, long term you have to like something beyond looks. Their personality has to attract you. This is the only way I see it making sense so my bad if I’m giving you the wrong answers. It does sound like to me that you really just want a partner and rush yourself through the actual process of liking someone. Just let life go by and you will find someone you truly like, and hopefully they will have the same feelings towards you.

Thank you, I think that was what I really needed to hear. These guys have been perfect on paper, I mean they tick all of the boxes. But, for some reason, after that crush faze, I can’t seem to feel any sort of connection, or liking. Maybe it’s just a case of waiting for that someone. Thanks :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Do you think? Wouldn’t all relationships start out as a crush, though? Perhaps I’m just reading too deeply, haha. Thanks!

No, a crush is a short-lived but intense infatuation with someone, quite often who you barely know.

A relationship is an established connection.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Please, please, please. Don’t judge me here.

I seem to go through phases, of being completely, and totally obsessed with a crush for about a week, or two, at a push. Then, I lose all feelings, and interest.

This has happened 3-4 times, and I’ve been asked out shortly after, but by that time, I’ve lost interest.

I don’t understand why I can’t just be normal, and keep interest.

I really do want a relationship, I constantly fantasise about being in one. Yet, I’m so afraid of hurting my partner, if I lose feelings quickly.

Is this normal, or, how can I keep the feelings around?

Please help a girl out.


any reasons why you might be losing interest?
Honestly? A therapist may be the best idea!

Quite common with those with distant or conflicting relationships with their parents, but I'm not a psychologist, so best leave it to the experts!
Crushes don't last for a week or two, chances are you just find them attractive and that's all, just try to get to know some people and see how things go.
do you mean you lose feelings when he shows interest back
Thank you all! To answer questions asked;
I have no clue as to why I lose interest, I just no longer find them as attractive as I did, and have no interest in being in a relationship with them.

As for them showing interest, I don’t think it’s necessarily that. As for instance, I was really attracted for a week, lost interest, and he asked me out the week later, so I don’t think it’s related.

For in terms of therapy, It might be an idea, I was in therapy for about 6 months last year, but I have a really strong relationship with my parents. Definitely an idea to think about.

Maybe it is just a case of attraction, rather than a really interest. Thanks everyone :smile:

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending