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I asked a very stupid question in front of my whole year and I am now in huge trouble

I feel so stressed and upset about this.

So im currently in sixth form and last week we had a guest come and give a lesson about sti's and sexual health etc

It was really interesting and I genuinely enjoyed it.

Towards the end there was a Q and A session, so people had the chance to ask the guest speaker anything..

Basically I thought they seemed super knowledgable about STIs so I innocently asked if they have ever had an STI before in front of the whole assembly.

A teacher then screamed at me and told me to get out.

Everyone was laughing but I got dirty looks too.

I have a meeting with the head of year this week and i think im in big trouble as I embarrased the college.

I know it may of sounded like a rude question but I honestly didnt mean to be disrespectful...how much trouble could I get in for this???

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Lmaoooo, I'm howling-

No, but seriously, did it not occur to you that asking anyone about their sexual activity and health is extremely invasive and personal, not to mention doing it in front of hundreds of people?? I mean, even if he did have an STD it's not like he was going to admit that in front of everybody, was he? Impossible to know what the punishment will be for this, maybe you'll just get a stern talking to and that's it. Or it could be worse, not much use in speculating tbh as it'll likely depend on the specific teacher who will decide the punishment and what their personal opinion is on the severity.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Son of the Sea
Lmaoooo, I'm howling-

No, but seriously, did it not occur to you that asking anyone about their sexual activity and health is extremely invasive and personal, not to mention doing it in front of hundreds of people?? I mean, even if he did have an STD it's not like he was going to admit that in front of everybody, was he? Impossible to know what the punishment will be for this, maybe you'll just get a stern talking to and that's it. Or it could be worse, not much use in speculating tbh as it'll likely depend on the specific teacher who will decide the punishment and what their personal opinion is on the severity.


It just slipped out in the moment....i didnt mean to be rude. They just seemed like such an expert on STIs so i was curious
I'd just say you don't see the stigma surrounding STIs, and it was a genuinely innocent question. It wasn't a judgment of their character, and you were actually trying to ask what got him so interested in becoming so knowledgeable about STIs. If you said that, you probably wouldn't get in too much trouble.
Yeah, asking about a strangers medical history is disrespectful, doing in from of an audience like you did about such a sensitive topic makes it so much worse.

Original post by Mentalhealth*12
I'd just say you don't see the stigma surrounding STIs, and it was a genuinely innocent question. It wasn't a judgment of their character, and you were actually trying to ask what got him so interested in becoming so knowledgeable about STIs. If you said that, you probably wouldn't get in too much trouble.

I can see that working in primary school. not for a 6th year who should 100% know better.
Lmao you shouldn’t have asked that. Tbf I’ve said similar stupid things in assemblies so I can’t really judge
Original post by StriderHort
Yeah, asking about a strangers medical history is disrespectful, doing in from of an audience like you did about such a sensitive topic makes it so much worse.


I can see that working in primary school. not for a 6th year who should 100% know better.


I don't understand why you think a 11 year old would know much about STI's let alone how much of a sensitive topic it is. This was just a innocent question for that age much like if someone came into school to talk about breaking a arm or leg - the student wouldn't be screamed at for asking if the guest speaker broke their arm. Apart from the teacher shouting at the student in the assembly or taking them to the side and telling them that's not okay to say I don't think the student should get in any sort of trouble and I think their parents should speak up if the school does impose any punishment. The guest speaker would of most likely just told them they don't feel comfortable sharing and neither would anyone else, end of.
Original post by alanb21
I don't understand why you think a 11 year old would know much about STI's let alone how much of a sensitive topic it is. This was just a innocent question for that age much like if someone came into school to talk about breaking a arm or leg - the student wouldn't be screamed at for asking if the guest speaker broke their arm. Apart from the teacher shouting at the student in the assembly or taking them to the side and telling them that's not okay to say I don't think the student should get in any sort of trouble and I think their parents should speak up if the school does impose any punishment. The guest speaker would of most likely just told them they don't feel comfortable sharing and neither would anyone else, end of.


The OP's in sixth form, they're not 11.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by alanb21
I don't understand why you think a 11 year old would know much about STI's let alone how much of a sensitive topic it is. This was just a innocent question for that age much like if someone came into school to talk about breaking a arm or leg - the student wouldn't be screamed at for asking if the guest speaker broke their arm. Apart from the teacher shouting at the student in the assembly or taking them to the side and telling them that's not okay to say I don't think the student should get in any sort of trouble and I think their parents should speak up if the school does impose any punishment. The guest speaker would of most likely just told them they don't feel comfortable sharing and neither would anyone else, end of.


Uh, I think you're thinking of PRIMARY 6 as opposed to 6th form college. OP isn't 11.
Original post by Son of the Sea
The OP's in sixth form, they're not 11.


Ah okay sorry, the comment I was replying to said '6th year'. In that case I would just suggest OP to be honest still and apart from that I don't think the school should impose any punishment since it wasn't a joke.
Original post by StriderHort
Uh, I think you're thinking of PRIMARY 6 as opposed to 6th form college. OP isn't 11.


Yep apologies got confused!
Original post by StriderHort
Yeah, asking about a strangers medical history is disrespectful, doing in from of an audience like you did about such a sensitive topic makes it so much worse.


I can see that working in primary school. not for a 6th year who should 100% know better.

Eh, if there was no stigma surrounding STIs, they would be less of a problem. People would be more willing to get tested and tell their partner without feeling judged. If it was genuinely an innocent question, she should just be honest about her intentions. Most people are pretty understanding about these sorts of things and understand that some people struggle to understand social norms. You can't just erase people with autistic traits from existence.
Original post by Anonymous
It just slipped out in the moment....i didnt mean to be rude. They just seemed like such an expert on STIs so i was curious


Well just explain this and that it was not all your intention to humiliate or embarrass anyone and that you're mortified you asked that and very very sorry.
Original post by alanb21
Yep apologies got confused!


Np, as I said to other poster, I do agree that for someone in primary school/pre teen I would not expect the same amount of trouble or judgement, but I think at 6th year you would be held to what you said and expected to show far more respect.
It's a perfectly valid question that you were asking. Because you were looking to establish whether the speaker was talking from any first hand experience as opposed to 2nd or 3rd hand experience.

It was a complete over reaction from the teacher.

Your question was on topic. There is no real stigma in 2023 from getting an STI. Because you can catch them - for example - from your husband or wife, as it's not under your control who they have slept with.

When you see the head of year, you should own your question and not back down on it. Stick to your frame that it was a genuine question on your part and that there was no actual shame in asking it. And that anyone that regards your question as shameful has a stupidly old fashioned attitude to STI's - whereby they are overly stigmatising them. Stick to your frame that you're happy to agree to disagree with the teaching staff over this matter.

Do not accept nor fall into the teaching staff frame that you did something wrong for which you deserve to be punished in any way.

Your frame should be that the teacher that barked at you to get out, owes you an apology.for screaming at you when you'd done nothing wrong.
It's a completely ironic joke that this teacher is concerned that you caused the guest speaker embarassment for asking a probing question in a normal tone of voice - whilst thinking that it was OK to cause you a lot of embarassment and stress.

Talk this over with your parents. Get their support, even if they are more inclined to go with the teacher's view.
Your parents should have a lot of righteous anger with the school over this.

If you get punished in any way for this, take it up with your local education authority. On the basis that the school is restricting your freedom of expression and independent thought. And punishing you when you'd done nothing wrong. Just because some teacher can't handle people discussing STI's in a frank, open and honest way.
Who on here has ever had an STI?
W OP
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
It's a perfectly valid question that you were asking. Because you were looking to establish whether the speaker was talking from any first hand experience as opposed to 2nd or 3rd hand experience.

It was a complete over reaction from the teacher.

Your question was on topic. There is no real stigma in 2023 from getting an STI. Because you can catch them - for example - from your husband or wife, as it's not under your control who they have slept with.

When you see the head of year, you should own your question and not back down on it. Stick to your frame that it was a genuine question on your part and that there was no actual shame in asking it. And that anyone that regards your question as shameful has a stupidly old fashioned attitude to STI's - whereby they are overly stigmatising them. Stick to your frame that you're happy to agree to disagree with the teaching staff over this matter.

Do not accept nor fall into the teaching staff frame that you did something wrong for which you deserve to be punished in any way.

Your frame should be that the teacher that barked at you to get out, owes you an apology.for screaming at you when you'd done nothing wrong.
It's a completely ironic joke that this teacher is concerned that you caused the guest speaker embarassment for asking a probing question in a normal tone of voice - whilst thinking that it was OK to cause you a lot of embarassment and stress.

Talk this over with your parents. Get their support, even if they are more inclined to go with the teacher's view.
Your parents should have a lot of righteous anger with the school over this.

If you get punished in any way for this, take it up with your local education authority. On the basis that the school is restricting your freedom of expression and independent thought. And punishing you when you'd done nothing wrong. Just because some teacher can't handle people discussing STI's in a frank, open and honest way.

Spot on @Dunnig Kruger

OP did nothing wrong. Sure it may be against 'social norms' but who cares, they were very brave, confident and managed to unite an audience. What OP should do is to defend himself to the death, gather as much support as he can.

I agree with taking it up to higher authorities, maybe even involving the media. If this is what it takes to defend himself, OP should do it.
Original post by ageshallnot
Who on here has ever had an STI?


Don't think so, but I'd have to test if I broke up with my current girlfriend.
You asked a perfectly valid question. Don't be intimidated and say you were curious to know whether they were speaking from a first hand experience or not. If they punish you, threaten them with legal action. Right now, I would be on the phone to 3-4 lawyers asking them for some legal advice with regards to how to deal with this situation.

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