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Is this guy fetishizing?

He said he likes the sun and summer because "you get a but more brown" and winked at me (I'm brown).
He has previously been in a relationship with a girl who was Greek but she was brown skinned like me. He also dated an Indian girl briefly.

While he does casually date white girls, he specifically told me he likes brown with the exotic look (dark hair , tan skin etc)

Is this a fetish ?
About him- He's ivory white in complexion, blue eyes and brown hair. So totally opposite.
(edited 1 year ago)

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From what you've said, it sounds more like he has a type than it being a case of fetishising.
Original post by SylviaGuzman0
He said he likes the sun and summer because "you get a but more brown" and winked at me (I'm brown).
He has previously been in a relationship with a girl who was Greek but she was brown skinned like me. He also dated an Indian girl briefly.

While he does casually date white girls, he specifically told me he likes brown with the exotic look (dark hair , tan skin etc)

Is this a fetish ?
About him- He's ivory white in complexion, blue eyes and brown hair. So totally opposite.

Finding a certain look attractive≠fetish.

What's wrong with you?
Original post by 1582
From what you've said, it sounds more like he has a type than it being a case of fetishising.


So it's OK to date him then?
White people love saying exotic, it’s so funny to me
Probably not.
He has a strong but not exclusive attraction and dating preference for a specific physical type when it comes to girls.
Original post by londonmyst
Probably not.
He has a strong but not exclusive attraction and dating preference for a specific physical type when it comes to girls.

Really?
Original post by SylviaGuzman0
Really?

Yes, I think so.
Bump
Fetishizing is when they associate certain traits with your race, i.e., I'm going to date asian girls because they're more feminine and are into nerdy hobbies just like me. It's not healthy because you're dating the idea of a person rather than the person in front of you. A preference isn't fetishizing.
Original post by Mentalhealth*12
Fetishizing is when they associate certain traits with your race, i.e., I'm going to date asian girls because they're more feminine and are into nerdy hobbies just like me. It's not healthy because you're dating the idea of a person rather than the person in front of you. A preference isn't fetishizing.

So he has a preference???
I'm just curious considering he's blue eyed and snow white and likes brown exotic girls?
(edited 1 year ago)
I mean I don’t think so, but it’s not exactly easy to tell from an off hand comment that looks like it was intended so be funny, and I did find it quite jokes tbf.
Reply 12
Different people have different types, don't they? This just sounds kinda normal to me.
Original post by SylviaGuzman0
So he has a preference???
I'm just curious considering he's blue eyed and snow white and likes brown exotic girls?


So what?

Lots of people like those who look nothing like them (erm... ever heard of the saying "Opposites Attract"?)

Yes, it's probably more common for people to naturally be drawn to the same ethnicity as their own, but it's not uncommon for people to be attracted to other ethnicities.

Look, it's a fetish if, and only if, your skin colour / ethnicity is the ONLY thing he's interested in, and everything else about you is inconsequential (either because of some stereotype or he wants to have a child of that ethnic group). For example, if, say, a girl had a fetish for black guys, it wouldn't make a difference to her if he was a gangster who had just got out of prison, or a refugee who had just got off a boat.

I'm presuming he likes other things / qualities that are more specific to you as an individual? If so, then it's not a fetish

Spoiler

Original post by SylviaGuzman0
I'm just curious considering he's blue eyed and snow white and likes brown exotic girls?

And who is to say brown girls don't date hime because they see him as exotic because he is "blue eyed and snow white"? What it is about his looks that attracts you, out of interest?
Original post by Anonymous
And who is to say brown girls don't date hime because they see him as exotic because he is "blue eyed and snow white"? What it is about his looks that attracts you, out of interest?

No brown person have ever uttered those words
Original post by Riotriot
No brown person have ever uttered those words


You can't speak for every brown person out there
Original post by Anonymous
You can't speak for every brown person out there

Have you heard of a single POC calling a white person exotic?
Original post by Riotriot
Have you heard of a single POC calling a white person exotic?


yes
Original post by Old Skool Freak
So what?

Lots of people like those who look nothing like them (erm... ever heard of the saying "Opposites Attract"?)

Yes, it's probably more common for people to naturally be drawn to the same ethnicity as their own, but it's not uncommon for people to be attracted to other ethnicities.

Look, it's a fetish if, and only if, your skin colour / ethnicity is the ONLY thing he's interested in, and everything else about you is inconsequential (either because of some stereotype or he wants to have a child of that ethnic group). For example, if, say, a girl had a fetish for black guys, it wouldn't make a difference to her if he was a gangster who had just got out of prison, or a refugee who had just got off a boat.

I'm presuming he likes other things / qualities that are more specific to you as an individual? If so, then it's not a fetish

Spoiler



He doesnt like anything about me apart from my appearance. No matter how caring, concerned and affectionate I have been, he shows no interest in them and instead called me overbearing and said he only wants casual sex and isn't looking for anything.
However, he will continue to hang out with Arab or half Arab female friends and keep looking out for brown exotic girls and will still keep me around him.

I didn't have sex with him as I am not looking for casuals and he acts like he has a grudge against me. He has a very close male friend who was the same and dated a half Arab girl and then moved to middle East and then dumped this girl to be with a Lebanese girl.
(edited 1 year ago)

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