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KandyKane
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#21
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#21
(Original post by naelse)
i guess it depends on the girl. it doesn't always hurt.

can i ask why you want to know? would you prefer your partner not to know that you were a virgin? because i'd say that if you're not comfortable about him knowing that you're a virgin, perhaps he's the wrong guy or you're just not ready. sex is a big responsibility and honesty and trust are big parts of that.
Definitely agree. Well said.
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Chocolate_Lover
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#22
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#22
ive already had sex and my ex boyfriend knew that i was a virgin before, its just for my friend im saying she should just say but shes not too sure.
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ponjavic
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Chocolate_Lover)
ive already had sex and my boyfriends knew about it, its just for my friend im saying she should just say but shes not too sure.
Plural rocks!
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Chocolate_Lover
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#24
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#24
oops accident that was lol!!
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ponjavic
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Chocolate_Lover)
oops accident that was lol!!
No help editing my reply's still there
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Chocolate_Lover
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#26
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#26
i know, worth a try though, that makes me sound bad oops!!
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viviki
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#27
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#27
(Original post by naelse)
i guess it depends on the girl. it doesn't always hurt.

can i ask why you want to know? would you prefer your partner not to know that you were a virgin? because i'd say that if you're not comfortable about him knowing that you're a virgin, perhaps he's the wrong guy or you're just not ready. sex is a big responsibility and honesty and trust are big parts of that.
That assumes that you want a serious relationship not all girls do.
Especially if a girl is say over 18 and doesn't want a serious relationship I think that a guy would be wary of sleeping with her if he knew she was a virgin because he would possibly think that if she had waited that long she wanted it to be something serious and permanent when that might not be the case.
I'm not talking about sleeping around but not everyone wants ultra serious relationships.

In an ideal world you would have sex for the first time with someone you love but that isn't always the case.

As for the pain. For me I had major pain as in I felt like my insides were ripping out but my friend didn't even have the slightest twinge. It would really depend on whether you still have a hymen or whether it is tight or stretched. Hymens come in different shapes and sizes and some are easier to break than others.
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randdom
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#28
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#28
(Original post by technik)
it does generally seem to be a painful experience.

however i was once told its "nice pain". perhaps girls can figure that out!
I get what they mean by nice pain , i don't really know if guys can tell. I would guess they could just by your reactions, ie if you got upset afterwards weather you seemed surprised with the way that things we going ect
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naelse
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#29
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#29
(Original post by viviki)
That assumes that you want a serious relationship not all girls do.
Especially if a girl is say over 18 and doesn't want a serious relationship I think that a guy would be wary of sleeping with her if he knew she was a virgin because he would possibly think that if she had waited that long she wanted it to be something serious and permanent when that might not be the case.
I'm not talking about sleeping around but not everyone wants ultra serious relationships.

In an ideal world you would have sex for the first time with someone you love but that isn't always the case.
i didn't mean that at all. even if it's a one night stand, sleeping with someone still involves trusting them with your body. i don't know many guys that would be put off from sleeping with someone because they were a virgin- they all seem to like that idea! but if a guy knows you're a virgin there are steps he can take to make sure that it's not as uncomfortable as it could be.
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Helenia
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#30
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#30
(Original post by naelse)
i didn't mean that at all. even if it's a one night stand, sleeping with someone still involves trusting them with your body. i don't know many guys that would be put off from sleeping with someone because they were a virgin- they all seem to like that idea! but if a guy knows you're a virgin there are steps he can take to make sure that it's not as uncomfortable as it could be.
Yep, I agree on this one. I'm in the situation Viviki describes - I'm 20 and so no, I'm not keen for the whole world to know I'm still a virgin, but still when I do sleep with someone, I will want them to know, and I'm not going to do it on some one-night stand. This leads to some interesting excuse-making at times

But generally, I think you should tell the person you're sleeping with. Especially if you haven't broken your hymen it will be painful and it'll be easier for both parties if he knows what's going on.
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marychrist
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#31
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#31
(Original post by sparkle86)
yea i dont use tampons either. but i dont use my fingers for pleasure either, did u?
haha no I didn't use my fingers inside my vag.
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jpowell
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#32
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#32
A lot of women can break their hymen simply by playing sport, or horseriding etc. It is not a reliable indicator of "chastity". And frankly if your partner was annoyed at you for not being a virgin or in pain when you have sex for the first time then it doesn't sound like a decent relationship to start with.
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Mad Vlad
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#33
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#33
I might be able to tell through passing conversation - body language, voice stress, that sorta thing. But I couldn't just look at a line of people and be able to say decisively which ones are virgins or not.
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Suburban Legend
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#34
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#34
using tampons doesn't break your hymen and it definitely doesnt reduce the pain of first time :s:
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MC
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#35
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#35
(Original post by technik)
um yea...generally it aint hard to spot...
If the hymen has already been broken, say by tampon sticks or by sport, then they won't bleed.

My ex was a gymnast and hers broke when she didn't land a fall properly.
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annabellewalter
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#36
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#36
Say for example he couldn't tell.......I think most of the time he'd think he was sh*te because the girl is just sort of lying there.....lifeless....teeth gritted....nervous....what a turn on that must be for him!!
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Charlottie
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#37
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#37
Lifeless? My God.
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annabellewalter
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#38
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#38
lol....sometimes the most disturbing mental images are just a hysterical snap shot of our pathetic adolescence. I can't wait to laugh out loud at threads like this when I'm thirty, the sad thing is, right now I'm really concerned about this girl who can't bring herself to tell this guy and the horrible position this bloke could potentially find himself in.
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Helenia
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#39
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#39
(Original post by Suburban Legend)
using tampons doesn't break your hymen and it definitely doesnt reduce the pain of first time :s:
It doesn't definitely, but it can. As can gymnastics, any kind of sport, really.
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Muse
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Helenia)
but still when I do sleep with someone, I will want them to know, and I'm not going to do it on some one-night stand.
so that passion filled night in your bedroom was only a dream..?
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