The Student Room Group

trying to be friends?

so me and my friendship group all joined college and still remained friends and are closer than ever (we're 16 but very aware this is an issue that shouldn't happen at this stage and we are trying to find a mature solution)
one of my friends sat with someone in a class and now she hangs around with us, she is a lovely person and i wish nothing but the best for her however the issue the whole friendship group has is that she doesn't click with us. for example we are very sarcastic with each other and she just doesn't understand that or read it as a joke (i'm not saying she has to be a carbon copy of us and if she doesn't understand the social cues we would rather her tell us than judge us) so what tends to happen is it gets awkward when she comes and sits with us and in all honesty brings the mood down. to the point where we all now feel uncomfortable just sitting there on the table we always sit at. the girl is assuming she is one of our best friends which as lovely as she is, she isn't my best friend.
we don't want to be rude to her and we want to approach the situation in the best way - we don't really understand why she chooses to sit awkwardly with us when she has other friends that she seems so much happier with.
It sounds horrible but i'm trying to find the nicest way through the situation - i have tried having conversations with her which go ok, but it feels like shes forcing it too much and its just not natural. i don't really know much about her interests etc as whenever i ask she doesn't really respond with much detail.
Its starting to stress me and my friends out because we don't want to upset the girl but we also don't want to be sacrificing our lunches etc and being miserable and we have other things to be worrying about and have begun dreading college because of this
do we tell her straight up that she doesn't click, just pretend to not find it awkward? we wont the nicest solution for her but also not awkward for us.
thanks for reading - have a nice day
Reply 1
I think you just have to be as you have always been in your group, and for the newcomer it will be sink or swim. Don't change to try and accommodate. As long as your group are friendly, kind and crazy happy let it be. I don't understand why this is an issue. You are as you are. If you are friendly, welcoming and roll with the punches and your new friend has two options. To stay or to go.
Reply 2
This girl isn't your best friend, she's a friend of a friend, so whilst you keep saying 'we' why are you deciding what should be done about her? Most people have a range of friends; some are the ones who are good for going out, some are the sensible ones you'd turn to for advice. She's happy to join your friendship group and not sit with other people, which says something. I think youre making too much of it, talking about sacrifice and being miserable; just leave things be and see if it runs it's course. And take it as a life lesson that not everyone you will associate with will necessarily be easy to get on with.

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