The Student Room Group

Cliquey Atmosphere

Hey,

I’m in my first year at uni, my degree is close knit with only about 30 people (vague on purpose to not be accusing of specific courses) and though I really enjoy the content, I find the other students to be very cliquey. I don’t get involved with that kind of social dynamic because I find it toxic. There are groups of students who are each following group leaders and if you don’t pick one or are accepted in by one, your weird. Its like mean girls goes to uni. People on my course/degree are generally straight from college (17-18) so I think they’re still in the schoolyard mentality. It’s very frustrating and silly/boring for me who is a mature student to be around these cliques. It’s a daily struggle and a lonely atmosphere for an adult who doesn’t want to be involved.
Does anyone have any tips on how to survive this (preferably without turning into a mean girl or something lol) or at least on how to stay sane?
Reply 1
I ended up leaving my old course, and I would be lying if I said that the cliquey atmosphere wasn't one of the things that bothered me. There were a couple of people on my course who I was friendly with, but with the rest, it was like you had to fit a specific model of *insert type of student* and spend all your time with them whenever possible.

I didn't leave solely because of that, obvs. My course wasn't fulfilling and I went through some stuff that I wasn't going to be able to deal with away from home (I'm an international student).

My solution, especially as a mature student, was to spend as much time as I could with other mature students (when possible), as well as other international students. When I had to be around other people on my course, I mostly stuck to the three or four people (out of about 30, like yours) who I was cool with and then was nice but "shy" with the rest.

My hope for you is that they'll grow out of the cliquey attitudes/behaviours, especially if the different years of your course start interacting and mixing a bit more!
Original post by Ilovepancakes91
Hey,

I’m in my first year at uni, my degree is close knit with only about 30 people (vague on purpose to not be accusing of specific courses) and though I really enjoy the content, I find the other students to be very cliquey. I don’t get involved with that kind of social dynamic because I find it toxic. There are groups of students who are each following group leaders and if you don’t pick one or are accepted in by one, your weird. Its like mean girls goes to uni. People on my course/degree are generally straight from college (17-18) so I think they’re still in the schoolyard mentality. It’s very frustrating and silly/boring for me who is a mature student to be around these cliques. It’s a daily struggle and a lonely atmosphere for an adult who doesn’t want to be involved.
Does anyone have any tips on how to survive this (preferably without turning into a mean girl or something lol) or at least on how to stay sane?



Hi there,
Sorry to hear you're feeling this. I would recommend speaking to your uni about what measures they have in place to support mature students- they might have groups for mature students to get to know each other. Something else that might be worth trying is speaking to your lecturer about how you're finding the course group so far. I can be difficult but once things settle down on your course as the move into second year begins you might find that you can connect with more of the other students.

I hope this helps,

Eleanor F
Student Ambassador

Quick Reply