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ocr rs alevel essay writing help

Hi, I'm struggling with essay writing for 40 markers in ocr alevel rs

i think i end up explaining too much and not analysing enough, I struggle with how much AO1 to put in as I try to cram in too much ig and just end up writing/explaining a theory but I feel like i need to , in order to develop my point to analyse it at the end..?
. Does anyone have any tips/advice on how to improve my essays/ how to balance AO1 and AO2 points. The highest mark I've gotten is 29/40.
Does anyone have an examplar essay? TY
Also got feedback on an essay that my essay didn't flow/ had no structure but the AO1 content was good
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by jojo257_
Hi, I'm struggling with essay writing for 40 markers in ocr alevel rs

i think i end up explaining too much and not analysing enough, I struggle with how much AO1 to put in as I try to cram in too much ig and just end up writing/explaining a theory but I feel like i need to , in order to develop my point to analyse it at the end..?
. Does anyone have any tips/advice on how to improve my essays/ how to balance AO1 and AO2 points. The highest mark I've gotten is 29/40.
Does anyone have an examplar essay? TY
Also got feedback on an essay that my essay didn't flow/ had no structure but the AO1 content was good

For me the way I write the essay is to explain the main theory and beliefs in the first paragraph plus my opinion and evaluation. I then would include a paragraph that has scholarly views that support the belief or theory and in my third paragraph it will either be another view that supports or a view against and my 4th and 5th paragraphs are against. You need to make sure you evaluate every scholarly view you include and link it back to the question. I then put my conclusion where I put a summary of the arguments for and against and a reiteration of my view on the question. (the best mark I have got is 35/40, so I'm by no means perfect at them but this might help).
Reply 2
Thank you!:biggrin: This helps alot. this sounds stupid but I didn't know you could write your opinion like on a theory?? Would you write it in the evaluation and like in first person using "I think/I believe that ......."?
Original post by flowersinmyhair
For me the way I write the essay is to explain the main theory and beliefs in the first paragraph plus my opinion and evaluation. I then would include a paragraph that has scholarly views that support the belief or theory and in my third paragraph it will either be another view that supports or a view against and my 4th and 5th paragraphs are against. You need to make sure you evaluate every scholarly view you include and link it back to the question. I then put my conclusion where I put a summary of the arguments for and against and a reiteration of my view on the question. (the best mark I have got is 35/40, so I'm by no means perfect at them but this might help).
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by jojo257_
Thank you!:biggrin: This helps alot. this sounds stupid but I didn't know you could write your opinion like on a theory?? Would you write it in the evaluation and like in first person using "I think/I believe that ......."?

It should be in relation to the question whether you agree or disagree with it, and it is encouraged in fact to write "I believe that.../I think that.../in my opinion... in order to get evaluation marks
Reply 4
ok tysm :smile:
Original post by flowersinmyhair
It should be in relation to the question whether you agree or disagree with it, and it is encouraged in fact to write "I believe that.../I think that.../in my opinion... in order to get evaluation marks
Reply 5
i have an update!! Your advice has helped alot and I've improved so much on an essay I just got back. TYSM! :smile:
Original post by jojo257_
i have an update!! Your advice has helped alot and I've improved so much on an essay I just got back. TYSM! :smile:

what mark did you get?
Reply 7
38/40 :eek: i was shocked when i got it back bc our teacher made us self mark it using the markscheme and i predicted myself 26/40:eek: and she said I rlly underestimated myself. Your advice has really helped, thank you❤️😃
Original post by flowersinmyhair
what mark did you get?
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by jojo257_
38/40 :eek: i was shocked when i got it back bc our teacher made us self mark it using the markscheme and i predicted myself 26/40:eek: and she said I rlly underestimated myself. Your advice has really helped, thank you❤️😃

well done! that's better than I have managed to do, but then again one of my biggest issues is I do not write enough in exam conditions. what was the question?
Reply 9
I think "Kantian ethics demands too much of human beings" Discuss"
ah, yeah we did it in timed conditions which definitely helped. But in timed conditions and ur advice helped

Original post by flowersinmyhair
well done! that's better than I have managed to do, but then again one of my biggest issues is I do not write enough in exam conditions. what was the question?
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by jojo257_
I think "Kantian ethics demands too much of human beings" Discuss"
ah, yeah we did it in timed conditions which definitely helped. But in timed conditions and ur advice helped

we didn't end up doing a question on Kantian Ethics due to the time mocks fell, and teachers having to mark mock papers, so I got out of that one. I find the philosophy of religion questions the easiest, the last ethics question I had to do was very difficult - it was comparing Mill's and Bentham's utilitarianism which meant you had to explain two concepts, evaluate them both and come to a conclusion all in timed conditions. We haven't had the marks back to that one yet though.
Original post by flowersinmyhair
we didn't end up doing a question on Kantian Ethics due to the time mocks fell, and teachers having to mark mock papers, so I got out of that one. I find the philosophy of religion questions the easiest, the last ethics question I had to do was very difficult - it was comparing Mill's and Bentham's utilitarianism which meant you had to explain two concepts, evaluate them both and come to a conclusion all in timed conditions. We haven't had the marks back to that one yet though.


The easiest way to do those kinds of questions (and utilitarianism essays in general) is:

1 - explain Bentham's act util
2 - criticise with e.g. the issue of calculation
3 - explain how Mill's version of Util gets around this issue

repeat with the issue of liberty & rights

If you have time, repeat with another issue - maybe the issue of intentions/character or the issue of partiality.

Conclude that Mill's version is better because it gets around all the issues faced by Bentham's version.

This is enough for a high B or low A. If you want really good marks you'd have to evaluate Mill's version as well.

See details of all these arguments here:
https://alevelphilosophyandreligion.com/ocr-religious-studies/ocr-ethics/utilitarianism/

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