The Student Room Group

How exactly does therapy help to fix the mental side of anorexia?

How does it stop you thinking "I don't want my breasts to develop so I don't want to eat?" In my opinion, it doesn't work. How can therapy help you to just randomly accept that your body is the way it is, and you have to grow up and breasts are a natural part of being a woman. Usually anorexic patients want to stay a child, or stay looking like a child.
Original post by Anonymous
How does it stop you thinking "I don't want my breasts to develop so I don't want to eat?" In my opinion, it doesn't work. How can therapy help you to just randomly accept that your body is the way it is, and you have to grow up and breasts are a natural part of being a woman. Usually anorexic patients want to stay a child, or stay looking like a child.


It helps you identify the underlying reasons causing your anorexia so you can resolve them. They’d help you explore why you want to remain a child and work with you until you find ways to cope with that you’re growing up, or to resolve underlying traumas you may have that cause you to want to remain like a child.

They’d look into your relationship with your parents and siblings and wider family, your past traumas, all the hard stuff you’ll sweep under a rug and try to forget about, make you confront it and support you through the whole process.

Side question, have you ever considered you may be transgender? Not to throw that out as the only reason you may be feeling this, but the discomfort with your chest in particular leads me to believe you might want to look into it.

But hopefully that helps clear up some points about therapy :smile:
Original post by heinzbeans7
It helps you identify the underlying reasons causing your anorexia so you can resolve them. They’d help you explore why you want to remain a child and work with you until you find ways to cope with that you’re growing up, or to resolve underlying traumas you may have that cause you to want to remain like a child.

They’d look into your relationship with your parents and siblings and wider family, your past traumas, all the hard stuff you’ll sweep under a rug and try to forget about, make you confront it and support you through the whole process.

Side question, have you ever considered you may be transgender? Not to throw that out as the only reason you may be feeling this, but the discomfort with your chest in particular leads me to believe you might want to look into it.

But hopefully that helps clear up some points about therapy :smile:

No I am not transgender. I would say I am happy being a woman because I can do all the girly things and have woman like emotions. Some people may say that that is a skewed view like women can cry, be upset and have anxiety etc without any stigma. I say I cry a lot as in probably more than normal and I am glad to be me. I am glad to be a small woman because I would get picked on more if I was a small man.

What if you don't know what is causing your eating disorder? Then you won't be able to cooperate.

Accepting that you have breasts does not mean you have grown up. Growing up is much more than just breasts and menstruation and physical changes. You have to actually learn to do things for yourself like clean and cook as well as other responsibilities. You can't be an adult without responsibilities and taking care of yourself like vacuuming and looking after your hygiene, you can't say I am a 22 year old woman without even doing the basics. Therapists can't help with that can they? Responsibilities and taking care of yourself is bigger than accepting you have breasts and you need to grow up in my opinion, responsibilities and doing everything yourself is what makes you an adult and not a child. You can accept you have breasts and you have gone through physical challenges, but if you still have a child like mindset and rely on others to do things for you you haven't become an adult.
Original post by heinzbeans7
It helps you identify the underlying reasons causing your anorexia so you can resolve them. They’d help you explore why you want to remain a child and work with you until you find ways to cope with that you’re growing up, or to resolve underlying traumas you may have that cause you to want to remain like a child.

They’d look into your relationship with your parents and siblings and wider family, your past traumas, all the hard stuff you’ll sweep under a rug and try to forget about, make you confront it and support you through the whole process.

Side question, have you ever considered you may be transgender? Not to throw that out as the only reason you may be feeling this, but the discomfort with your chest in particular leads me to believe you might want to look into it.

But hopefully that helps clear up some points about therapy :smile:

Sometimes I wish I was a man because I feel like us women have to do everything as in give birth to kids, take care of them until they can take care of themselves and some would say even after that, can only work part time, menstruation pain and bleed every month which is so bloody annoying. I can't have kids anyway, I don't think I would survive childbirth as I am underweight and have been my whole life. I don't have the strength to even open a water bottle let alone push out a baby. Also I have a lot of fears and one of the things that scare me is the fact that when you are pregnant some women have morning sickness and vomiting scares the hell out of me because fever and vomiting at the same time causes extreme lethargy and I am unable to even open my eyes, not because I am tired it's part of a genetic disorder that I have and the genetic disorder also means you need to be lower in weight but if you are at the same time you will suffer from low blood sugar etc and we can't eat anyway due to abnormalities in our digestive system and it takes longer to digest, so I barely get sick like that anyways but when I do it can turn into a medical emergency after vomiting twice, once on one day and once another day. When that happens my mum usually has to pick me up and feed me and it's really really hard like it's so hard during those times and you are prone to low blood sugar. It's hard to eat even on a normal day but extremely hard during times of fever and vomiting but anyway, as I am so scared of vomiting, getting pregnant will be scary.
Original post by Anonymous
No I am not transgender. I would say I am happy being a woman because I can do all the girly things and have woman like emotions. Some people may say that that is a skewed view like women can cry, be upset and have anxiety etc without any stigma. I say I cry a lot as in probably more than normal and I am glad to be me. I am glad to be a small woman because I would get picked on more if I was a small man.

What if you don't know what is causing your eating disorder? Then you won't be able to cooperate.

Accepting that you have breasts does not mean you have grown up. Growing up is much more than just breasts and menstruation and physical changes. You have to actually learn to do things for yourself like clean and cook as well as other responsibilities. You can't be an adult without responsibilities and taking care of yourself like vacuuming and looking after your hygiene, you can't say I am a 22 year old woman without even doing the basics. Therapists can't help with that can they? Responsibilities and taking care of yourself is bigger than accepting you have breasts and you need to grow up in my opinion, responsibilities and doing everything yourself is what makes you an adult and not a child. You can accept you have breasts and you have gone through physical challenges, but if you still have a child like mindset and rely on others to do things for you you haven't become an adult.


Fair enough, was just a thought.

You’d be surprised how therapists get you to co-operate. They’re sneaky.

And by grow up, I mean physically grow up. Your body is doing this, whether you like it or not. Bar puberty blockers. Starving yourself might slow this development, but it’ll also give you a whole host of other problems. You can be 11 and cook and clean but you’re not physically grown up. You can be 22 and have DD cups but still have your mum clean everything after you, but you are, by rights, a grown up.

Unfortunately, adulthood is not defined by your responsibility, but your age. Physical development in women is usually done around 16, when you’re are adult height and development (puberty wise). At that point you are what is generally referred to as a woman. You haven’t more physical changes to go through until you hit menopause. That doesn’t change according to your opinion. It’s science fact.

I’m no therapist, though. I’d recommend you get one. Stick with it and hopefully it will help you cope with whatever underlying reason you may have.

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