Help needed - cheering up tactics

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F1 fanatic
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#1
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Hi everyone. Could I ask you for advice on ways in which you can either:

(a) cheer yourself up or
(b) long distance ways to cheer someone up

My mate is really down at the moment and I dont know what to do about it. Im stuck at Uni so I cant see him to help properly. Ive tried to comfort him but it doesnt work. I care a lot about him & I'm worried it could get worse if nothing is done soon. All help gratefully received. Thanks people.
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Zapsta
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Just talk crap
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IHavePMS
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I've got a mate who's the same. Get him out and involved in something different...childish even! I took mine to Laser Quest once and he really enjoyed it. And don't make it obvious this is why you're doing it; a lot of people who are down don't constantly want it pointed out.
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(Original post by IHavePMS)
I've got a mate who's the same. Get him out and involved in something different...childish even! I took mine to Laser Quest once and he really enjoyed it. And don't make it obvious this is why you're doing it; a lot of people who are down don't constantly want it pointed out.
I can't - Im stuck at uni so I cant physically see him
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Just_Izzy
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ok... call him up and talking rubbish for hours. literally. have a convo about a paintbrush. really works. then if he is still really bad, call his friends... make them take him ice skating. he'll be fine after that.
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No Future
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Send him a big parcel with little gifts, things he likes etc (eg: his favourite sweets), write a letter, send happy photographs etc. Email him every day just to chat, make him feel cared for.
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Zapsta
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(Original post by izzy_hattie)
ok... call him up and talking rubbish for hours. literally. have a convo about a paintbrush. really works.
Yeeeeees! Do that. It genuinely does work.
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IHavePMS
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(Original post by F1 fanatic)
I can't - Im stuck at uni so I cant physically see him
Apologies. The yes, as suggested, send him something. Tickets to go somewhere? make him a cd of some good music to show you're thinking about him? sending something silly/funny could help too. Phone calls always help, but I can understand being a student, you're probably a little pushed for cash. Aren't any of his other friends helping out?
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Just_Izzy
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(Original post by Zapsta)
Yeeeeees! Do that. It genuinely does work.
its true. a proven fact.
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(Original post by IHavePMS)
Apologies. The yes, as suggested, send him something. Tickets to go somewhere? make him a cd of some good music to show you're thinking about him? sending something silly/funny could help too. Phone calls always help, but I can understand being a student, you're probably a little pushed for cash. Aren't any of his other friends helping out?
In a way. But I dont think he gets out enough. He just says he doesnt have fun
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(Original post by izzy_hattie)
its true. a proven fact.
Ive tried talking nonsense at him but I dont feel that he is really paying attention. Sometimes he disappears for ages & he clearly has other things on his mind
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IHavePMS
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(Original post by F1 fanatic)
In a way. But I dont think he gets out enough. He just says he doesnt have fun
They need to drag him out. It's unfair for you to have to be so far and so worried about him. Do you know them/can you talk to them?
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(Original post by IHavePMS)
They need to drag him out. It's unfair for you to have to be so far and so worried about him. Do you know them/can you talk to them?
yeah but they are busy too. I think the fact that everyone has gone to uni has got to him. He doesnt see them so much anymore.
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IHavePMS
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(Original post by F1 fanatic)
yeah but they are busy too. I think the fact that everyone has gone to uni has got to him. He doesnt see them so much anymore.
Doesn't he have a job or anything? workmates, for instance. He can't stop living because they're gone yanno, you need to convince him to go out somewhere...maybe taking a day out to go and see him and dragging him out would help?
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#15
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(Original post by IHavePMS)
Doesn't he have a job or anything? workmates, for instance. He can't stop living because they're gone yanno, you need to convince him to go out somewhere...maybe taking a day out to go and see him and dragging him out would help?
He doesnt work as such. Well he does but its by himself if you see what I mean. He lives at home so he doesnt really see uni mates either. He's a really good guy though and I dont like to see him like this.

I might try & get back or get him up here. I had planned on it but it fell through. Any ideas of what he can do to cheer himself up. Ways to be positive. :confused:
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IHavePMS
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(Original post by F1 fanatic)
He doesnt work as such. Well he does but its by himself if you see what I mean. He lives at home so he doesnt really see uni mates either. He's a really good guy though and I dont like to see him like this.

I might try & get back or get him up here. I had planned on it but it fell through. Any ideas of what he can do to cheer himself up. Ways to be positive. :confused:
He needs to take up something; join a club, a gym...anything. Anything that involves people and communication.
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(Original post by IHavePMS)
He needs to take up something; join a club, a gym...anything. Anything that involves people and communication.
I take your point. But Im worried he is going beyond the point of no return if you see what I mean. I dont know whether he would feel like doing that at the moment. He's just not happy in himself.

Thanks for all this by the way. You are all doing a great job so far
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IHavePMS
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(Original post by F1 fanatic)
I take your point. But Im worried he is going beyond the point of no return if you see what I mean. I dont know whether he would feel like doing that at the moment. He's just not happy in himself.

Thanks for all this by the way. You are all doing a great job so far
If he gets or is depressed, a little counselling might help get him back on track. Other than that, he cannot be happy in himself without actively doing things. I mean, the only way he can, say around the house, avoid getting down is listen to 'happy' music, watch quality television, write to you (usually helps to get it down on paper) etc.

EDIT: and you're most welcome, my dear.
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#19
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(Original post by IHavePMS)
If he gets or is depressed, a little counselling might help get him back on track. Other than that, he cannot be happy in himself without actively doing things. I mean, the only way he can, say around the house, avoid getting down is listen to 'happy' music, watch quality television, write to you (usually helps to get it down on paper) etc.

EDIT: and you're most welcome, my dear.
yeah. We talk loads on MSN and stuff. I am now. I mean he has loads (60+) net mates and all that but its not enough. He lets it get to him that he doesnt have a girlfriend
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IHavePMS
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(Original post by F1 fanatic)
yeah. We talk loads on MSN and stuff. I am now. I mean he has loads (60+) net mates and all that but its not enough. He lets it get to him that he doesnt have a girlfriend
Point it out to him that he will never get a girlfriend sitting around moping at home. He needs PEOPLE not just the net =P
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