The Student Room Group

thoughts on dating an older girl?

In normal relationships the guy is older than the girl and usually by quite a significant amount. For example it’s pretty common to see guys 10-15 years older than the girl nowadays.

I guess this is written core in the human brain programming e.g. the guy desires young beauty and the girl desires the older successful male to protect and provide for them.

However, I’m in a different situation which others might find strange.. I’m dating an older girl. I’m 22 and she is 27. At first I didn’t even care about the age cap I was perfectly fine with it until two things started happening:

1) I started getting bullied about it

The bullying started by my friends when they found out she was older saying off-putting things like she’s going to get old and wrinkly before me whilst all other guys are going to have young hot girlfriends whilst i will be with an old saggy person. now whenever i’m out with my friends at a party or whatever and they introduced me to new people they always introduce me as “the guy dating a grandma” and then these new people i’ve just met respond saying “wtf why would you date an older girl?” and then the whole bullying starts again saying things that upset me like she’s probably f*cked 100s of guys in her life and sucked 100s of d*cks and that in a few years she’s gonna be in her 30s looking old and that she’s gonna be in her 40s whilst im in my 30s.

then when they try to have talks with me they say things like “look you should end things because it’s going to waste your time she’s too mature and guys need younger girls, because science and studies show “MEN age like WINE they get more attractive with age but WOMEN age like MILK they get less attractive with age” so from a human evolution perspective i need to be with a younger girl.

2) the girl started bringing it up as her ex bf was in his 30s and she over heard some of my friends making grandma jokes about her and she’s started asking if i’m still ok with it and asking if i find it weird.

and the truth is the constant bullying is really upsetting me, this happens to me almost everytime i see my friends and at first i just laughed it off but now it’s been going on for so long i’m starting to constantly think about it and think that maybe they are right and i should end things even though i do like her because maybe they are right?

would appreciate everyone’s thoughts and any advice. thanks
find some nicer friends.
There may be an issue in the future if she wants to think about having children before you are ready for that, other than that if you are both happy then ignore your immature friends.
^This. Tell your so-called friends to eff off.
So your friends are presumably in their 20s, yet they're acting like they're 12 by calling a 27-year-old a grandma and acting as if being in your 30s is old when it isn't? It's not like the age gap is 10 or 20 years, it's 5...that's really not that deep. Your so-called friends sound incredibly immature and nasty, get rid of them and find better mates.
Original post by Anonymous
In normal relationships the guy is older than the girl and usually by quite a significant amount. For example it’s pretty common to see guys 10-15 years older than the girl nowadays.

No, that's not normal. Your friends are tossers.
A 5 year age gap isn’t crazy
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if you like her then be with her. The age doesn't matter, it's only 5 years and you're both consenting adults so there's nothing wrong with it. If you're both happy together, that's all that matters.

Also agree with what previous comments have said. Get rid of these friends and get new ones because these ones are rubbish and immature bullies, it's your life not theirs. Be with who you want to be with not who they want you to be with. They're just jealous they couldn't pull an older girl but you did! Also just cos she's older doesn't mean she's going to look old nor does it mean she's been with loads of men. 30's isn't old, women in their 30's/40s don't look old unless they smoke/drink a lot.

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