The Student Room Group

Boyfriend rejects my sexual advances?

I just feel like our sex life is quite unhealthy and toxic. He always wants to have sex in the evening and tbh I’ve never said I’m not in the mood’ . Whenever I don’t feel like having sex it’s usually because I’m on my period, have a tummy ache or worried about getting UTI cos I get them regularly.

So basically if I’m not 100% up for it he will still have a tug’ or ask me to do something to him. Which is fine idm… until….

I work from home Fridays and I personally like spontaneous sex. I’m not tired cos it’s the middle of the day ( usually I’m tired in the evening) and whenever he’s been home too I’ve always initiated / asked if he wants to have sex and he always says no of comes up with an excuse.

And I get sensitive about it and take it personally cos I think sexually I’m there a lot more for him than he is for me.

We’ve been together a year now and at first we had sex a lot and I know it’s normal for it to decrease due to work etc but I’m sick of going whenever HE wants to and he doesn’t come to any compromise
Have you discussed this with him? Especially the last paragraph?
Dump him. Enjoy your freedom. Start your search for a new boyfriend. See if you can pep up your nutrition. Do more activities that get you out of breath and your pulse racing.

That will fix the issue of you always having sex on your boyfriend's terms and mitigate the evening fatigue.
Reply 3
Sex drive mismatch and preference issues do come up in longer term relationships. In one way it’s good to respond positively when your partner suggests it, but sex is also a bit like hunger, if you’re not in the mood at the time it’s difficult to manufacture it. Certainly repeated rejections is damaging. The only way to address it is to talk about how you feel
Speak to him about it. I’m conscious this is a student forum, so I feel this is the most pg way to say it. I have a much higher sex drive than my boyfriend, I’d be willing to have sex daily, whereas it’s too much for my partner. Instead, when I’m in the mood, and he’s not up for sex, he fulfils those desires, without us actually having ‘sex’ - if you’re able to read between the lines there. What I’m saying, is I’m sure you both can comprise a little; more on his part than you. But, this is only something solved through communication.

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