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My boyfriend/fiancé being in prison

Not really sure if this is reliable or if anyone has any good advice, but my partner is in prison his not yet been sentenced still waiting for that, but since his been inside I’ve just been an emotional wreck & i feel so lost, i feel like I’m not doing much day to day activities because I’ve been feeling depressed, it’s just so hard & sometimes gets to much obviously I don’t want to leave him, i love him but i just wondered if anyone had any advice that might help with my situation because i am struggling alot with my mental health at the moment because the one person that makes everything better isn’t here to do what he would normally do anymore, his not a bad person, his the most caring, loving & the best person to my kids they adore him so much, I’ve not really got many friends that i can talk to thats why I’ve come to this hoping i could get some advice on things x

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You say he's not a bad person but he's about to go to prison. Hate to break it to you but good people don't go to prison.

You need to cut him out and move on with your life. Also stop being depressed, you've got children to care for.
Original post by Clom99
I didn’t come on here for any hate, or rude comments & just because his in prison doesn’t mean his a bad person especially when you don’t know the story behind it. So instead of being so judgemental on situations you barely know about, next time keep you’re rude remarks to yourself.

Yeah buts it's true... Good people dont go to prison. And you can't criticise us for commenting on a situation that we know nothing about, when you haven't mentioned what the situation is....
New account and first post, this can’t be real. What’s he supposedly in prison for btw, murder?
Reply 4
What are these replies? Good people go to prison all the time whether that be for not knowing they were breaching some obscure law or for making dumb mistakes. There are a lot of kind-hearted, good people in prison who made the wrong choices. They aren't all monsters.

Also, OP can criticise you lot as much as she wants to. If you don't know the situation, you ASK what the situation is instead of jumping to negative conclusions. If you know nothing, ask what happened.

I don't have any advice to offer in this situation but I wish you and your kids the best OP. I just had to say something after seeing those rude replies.
Original post by DarylO
What are these replies? Good people go to prison all the time whether that be for not knowing they were breaching some obscure law or for making dumb mistakes. There are a lot of kind-hearted, good people in prison who made the wrong choices. They aren't all monsters.

Also, OP can criticise you lot as much as she wants to. If you don't know the situation, you ASK what the situation is instead of jumping to negative conclusions. If you know nothing, ask what happened.

I don't have any advice to offer in this situation but I wish you and your kids the best OP. I just had to say something after seeing those rude replies.


I disagree. To end up in prison either it's a severe offence and the public need to be protected from them or they've shown no remorse and ****ed off the judge or magistrate. A first offender doesn't go to prison unless it's serious.
Original post by AW_1983
I disagree. To end up in prison either it's a severe offence and the public need to be protected from them or they've shown no remorse and ****ed off the judge or magistrate. A first offender doesn't go to prison unless it's serious.

Yep. And to say they may have just made a "dumb mistake"... surely I could just justify any crime as a dumb mistake then?
Reply 7
Original post by AW_1983
I disagree. To end up in prison either it's a severe offence and the public need to be protected from them or they've shown no remorse and ****ed off the judge or magistrate. A first offender doesn't go to prison unless it's serious.

As I said, people make dumb mistakes. A person can end up in prison for being addicted to drugs in a place where drug possession is illegal. Does an addiction automatically make them a bad person? No, it does not. And if someone commits a light crime, and ****es off the judge by being annoying like the numerous people I've seen in court cases, that doesn't automatically make them a bad person. They just have behavioural issues to work through.

Then you have so many folks who were wrongfully convicted and are still in prison, appealing their sentences. You have those who were associated with criminals and didn't know they were harboring criminals like the unfortunate relatives of robbers who also end up in prison. The list is endless, and I could go on for many paragraphs. It's not some black-and-white system where if you're in there, you must be a bad person. I'm shocked this even has to be explained.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Emmmaaaa...
Yep. And to say they may have just made a "dumb mistake"... surely I could just justify any crime as a dumb mistake then?


Yes, to go as far as committing a crime requires some effort on the part of the perpetrator. Of course, the OP's fiance could find they are remorseful and don't get a custodial sentence although the fact the state has decided they should be banged up pending sentencing doesn't look good.
Original post by DarylO
As I said, people make dumb mistakes. A person can end up in prison for being addicted to drugs in a place where drug possession is illegal. Does an addiction automatically make them a bad person? No, it does not. And if someone commits a light crime, and ****es off the judge by being annoying like the numerous people I've seen in court cases, that doesn't automatically make them a bad person. They just have behavioural issues to work through.

Then you have so many folks who were wrongfully convicted and are still in prison, appealing their sentences. You have those who were associated with criminals and didn't know they were harboring criminals like the unfortunate relatives of robbers who also end up in prison. The list is endless, and I could go on for many paragraphs. It's not some black-and-white system where if you're in there, you must be a bad person. I'm shocked this even has to be explained.

First of all, this is not about the wrongfully convicted. There is no suggestion this is a wrongful conviction, so that argument can be parked as irrelevant.

Second, for first offence drug possession the sentences are normally pretty light and I'm afraid good people don't get addicted to drugs. You have to make a conscious decision to be a ********, break the law and take them in the first place before you get addicted (and when making that decision, to not give a crap about the inhumanity of the supply chain that often involves abused children).

However, that doesn't mean I don't believe there aren't good people in prison. I just don't believe they were good when they went in, and they were sent there for a good reason.
Original post by AW_1983
First of all, this is not about the wrongfully convicted. There is no suggestion this is a wrongful conviction, so that argument can be parked as irrelevant.

Second, for first offence drug possession the sentences are normally pretty light and I'm afraid good people don't get addicted to drugs. You have to make a conscious decision to be a ********, break the law and take them in the first place before you get addicted (and when making that decision, to not give a crap about the inhumanity of the supply chain that often involves abused children).

However, that doesn't mean I don't believe there aren't good people in prison. I just don't believe they were good when they went in, and they were sent there for a good reason.

My statement was that not all people in prison are bad people so every single thing I stated was absolutely relevant. I will not be dismissing anything I stated. You are not the judge of what goes on in my head, and this is not a court of law. It was relevant to my statement.

Also, if you think good people don't get addicted to drugs; then, we have VERY different definitions of what good people are and what bad people are. If you also believe that every person who was sent to prison wasn't a good person at the time of sentencing; once again, we have very different perspectives of what good and bad people are.

I believe making poor decisions, having addictions or flaws or behavioural problems that lead to petty crimes don't make you a bad person. They just mean you have issues to work through. You believe otherwise and that's perfectly okay. It's a free world.
(edited 1 year ago)
So much bickering on a troll thread.
Original post by DarylO
Does an addiction automatically make them a bad person? No, it does not.

No of course an addiction doesn't necessity make them a bad person.. but why were they taking drugs in the first place??
Original post by AW_1983
I disagree. To end up in prison either it's a severe offence and the public need to be protected from them or they've shown no remorse and ****ed off the judge or magistrate. A first offender doesn't go to prison unless it's serious.

Plenty of innocent people are in prison. Some were wrongly accused, had evidence fabricated etc
Original post by Anonymous
No of course an addiction doesn't necessity make them a bad person.. but why were they taking drugs in the first place??

Agreed.

Why do they do it? That's where I start to ask myself if they're dumb or have issues they're trying to escape from through drugs. I've worked with people who had addictions of various types, and those who still do. A lot of them are very lovely people stuck in this terrible cycle, some of the kindest people I've met. It's sad that some folks would automatically assume they're bad but that's life.
Original post by TexasUrCox
Plenty of innocent people are in prison. Some were wrongly accused, had evidence fabricated etc


I've already said that is an entirely separate issue. We are working on the assumption that this conviction is safe.
Original post by DarylO
Agreed.

Why do they do it? That's where I start to ask myself if they're dumb or have issues they're trying to escape from through drugs. I've worked with people who had addictions of various types, and those who still do. A lot of them are very lovely people stuck in this terrible cycle, some of the kindest people I've met. It's sad that some folks would automatically assume they're bad but that's life.


Exactly. A good person does not take drugs in the first place because a good person will at least stop and think about the human cost of supply. I'm not actually anti drugs and would legalise them all but whilst they are illegal, the supply chain involves brutal gangs, premature deaths and exploitation of children. Good people stop and think about that before they get addicted.

There is something exceptionally pathetic about a grown man high off his tits relying on a child risking their life to fuel his addiction.
(Dunno why folk are bothering with the essays on a troll thread flagged for deletion :tongue: )
Original post by AW_1983
Exactly. A good person does not take drugs in the first place because a good person will at least stop and think about the human cost of supply. I'm not actually anti drugs and would legalise them all but whilst they are illegal, the supply chain involves brutal gangs, premature deaths and exploitation of children. Good people stop and think about that before they get addicted.

There is something exceptionally pathetic about a grown man high off his tits relying on a child risking their life to fuel his addiction.


There is no 'exactly' here. I do not agree with your logic as I've stated from the very beginning.

I completely disagree with your definition of good and bad people just as you completely disagree with mine. That's the beauty of having different opinions which I've already said is perfectly okay. Why are you prolonging an argument that has already been concluded? We have different opinions. End of story. So, you can stop replying to all my comments, trying to change my mind. You will not.
Original post by StriderHort
(Dunno why folk are bothering with the essays on a troll thread flagged for deletion :tongue: )

Oh, I didn't know it was. :colonhash:

Thanks for the heads-up, though. I'll stop adding to the thread now.

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