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catching bf cheating - quite a long read im sorry!!

I am a 17yr old girl and my bf is also my age but we are in an long distance relationship. Our relationship is quite a bit complicated. We started dating in March 2022 and we were rrly close, making time for each other, texting all the time, being there for each other, showing each other we loved one another etc etc. however, i noticed that during June 2022 he had become a little distanced from me. I obviously noticed his change in behaviour and i questioned asking why and whether if i had done something. He reassured me it wasn’t me and that he ahd stuff going on in his life and needed a break from everything, including me. I understood and accepted his decision to take the time off and told him i will always be there to back him up whenever. I went on a trip for my dad’s business in July/August, and my i told my bf about it and how excited i was abt it. Atp we were talking but not as much as we used to. I accepted as he was going through stuff. After the trip, i get a message from one of my friends who is also friends with my bf and asked me if me and my bf were dating. I said yes and that we were dating for a while now. She texts me saying my bf is always flirting with her despite me dating him (bare in mind this was during the time where he said he needed to be off socials and limited time to talk to me). I was okay with him being friends with girls at least it was not over the top. My name on his bio and vice versa is what ticked her off. We found out he was cheating on me with my friend otp, he panic texted me saying he was high when he was flirting with the girl and was out of his mind. He said that he went high bc of the stuff going on in his life. He tactically guilt tripped me into saying he would go high if i left him as i was willing to end our rs. I was too blinded in love and accepted what he did and forgave him. We were fine after a while. However we did get into arguments about him talking to other girl and me talking to guys, although i rarely talked to them and only talked if we would play games. So we both blocked the boys/girls off our contacts.
After that he went all cold at me all of a sudden and we rarely got to speak. It got to a point where we would only talk once a week. I got upset and argued to him for his time as it felt as if we were get distanced. It was already hard for us as we were in an LDR.
Our relationship got soo toxic that i would argue with him over the most pettiest of stuff, such as arguing for him to text me back and stay on calls. I obvs understood if he had stuff to do, however he didn’t as he would be talking and playing games all day and not talk to me. He started to block me on my socials, firstly on tiktok and he goes ‘it only tiktok it’s not even deep tf’ but my love language is sending tiktoks to ppl. He then unadded my on snap and normal texts and i could only talk to him on discord. I told him on it that i’m ending it as i don’t feel part of the rs anymore. After this i log into an old game which auto logged into his account and i was tempted to read his dms for evidence to why he went all cold at me. I see this dm from what looked like his ex who asked if they could restart their rs just a few weeks after i broke up with him. I know snooping through his account was wrong of me, but i needed to know why he went all cold and whether he didn’t make the same mistake of making moves with another girl. I dm this girl from my account and she talk to me abt how my bf lost interest in her and moved on rrly quick to me. I give his account details to her so she can check what else happened during the period of time my bf was with me. It turned out he said a ton of stuff to me to another girl and seemed to like this girl (her name is Zainab, but ill explain why I am mentioning names later).
5 months later during April this year, he texts me saying he apologises for what he’s done and i accept it and from then we’re together again, i regained feelings for him too quickly again. I questioned him on Zainab and reassures me that they were only friends and he no longer talks to her anymore and he only loves me and missed me for the duration he didn’t get to talk to me. I accept it and we are talking perfectly normally and seems to be his old self and gives me his attention.

However, shortly after that he goes to his cold self and shows not much attention to me. This time I didn’t question and went into some investigation myself without him knowing. Turned out he was talking to another girl, sending red hearts etc etc. I ask him who the girl was and why he sent the red hearts back to the girl, calling her bae and all. He tells me it was quite a long time ago when he sent that, but i couldn’t tell as there was no timing stated on the dms. I go to him and tell him, could you not please talk to her as both you seemed to by way more close before and it might lead up to ‘a more than friends’ kinda thing. He starts arguing saying im jealous and that i talk to guys and he doesn’t see any wrong in that. However, he was the one who cheated in the first instance and I never did. However, I did talk to 2 dudes whilst we said we would block off the boys/girls we knew, however i only spoke when we gamed.

I tell him from now on let’s just not talk to ppl of the opposite gender if we can’t trust each other, but he goes on to argue saying it isn’t such a big issue.

We don't talk for 2-3days and then he hits me up saying if im alright etc. We talk for a while.

Hours later he randomly goes this relationship isn’t working and that it’s because im always arguing with him about him not giving me attention or going crazy when he talks to another girl. But I reason with him saying im worried to lose you and you’ve cheated twice on me with 2 other girls, it isn’t my fault my behaviour has changed from my laid-back self to being a psycho.

He goes I cant trust u either as u were talking to 2 guys on a game when i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him. However he knows i havent cheated but he has.

I talk to him saying we both have made mistakes before we broke up, and we should put the past behind us, and restart. We should fix ourselves and work on from there. It would take time to build mutual trust but I am willing to give my all for it bc i am still in love with him.

He texts me saying ‘ill think about starting over, we cant go straight to love’. I say that is okay. We play a game together after wards. And since then we didn’t text each other.

Yesterday, i was on a game and it was a coincidence he was on too. He invited me onto a game had a quick ‘how are you’ and played the game. He goes i need to go off now. I say okay take care of yourself.

An hour later, I come back on to see he’s playing with someone else. I go to check who it is but I can't seem to recognise the user and what gender it is.

I realise that the user has the same initials to the girl (Zainab) the one who my bf liked and never told me about. Her last 2 digits of her birth year was used too but i cant seem to know her exact birth year.

I fr turned into a psycho thinking if it was her but I am not certain it is her now.

Someone suggested I add the person to see who it is. They have added me back and I plan to talk to them tomorrow and see who it is.

My issue here is how do I initiate the convo with this person, without the person knowing I know my bf/ex? I don’t wanna look like I was snooping through his profile.

And in the case it is the girl he liked, how should I approach my bf/ex? Should I approach him at all?

Scroll to see replies

dude block him fr
Original post by V3N0Mxx
I am a 17yr old girl and my bf is also my age but we are in an long distance relationship. Our relationship is quite a bit complicated. We started dating in March 2022 and we were rrly close, making time for each other, texting all the time, being there for each other, showing each other we loved one another etc etc. however, i noticed that during June 2022 he had become a little distanced from me. I obviously noticed his change in behaviour and i questioned asking why and whether if i had done something. He reassured me it wasn’t me and that he ahd stuff going on in his life and needed a break from everything, including me. I understood and accepted his decision to take the time off and told him i will always be there to back him up whenever. I went on a trip for my dad’s business in July/August, and my i told my bf about it and how excited i was abt it. Atp we were talking but not as much as we used to. I accepted as he was going through stuff. After the trip, i get a message from one of my friends who is also friends with my bf and asked me if me and my bf were dating. I said yes and that we were dating for a while now. She texts me saying my bf is always flirting with her despite me dating him (bare in mind this was during the time where he said he needed to be off socials and limited time to talk to me). I was okay with him being friends with girls at least it was not over the top. My name on his bio and vice versa is what ticked her off. We found out he was cheating on me with my friend otp, he panic texted me saying he was high when he was flirting with the girl and was out of his mind. He said that he went high bc of the stuff going on in his life. He tactically guilt tripped me into saying he would go high if i left him as i was willing to end our rs. I was too blinded in love and accepted what he did and forgave him. We were fine after a while. However we did get into arguments about him talking to other girl and me talking to guys, although i rarely talked to them and only talked if we would play games. So we both blocked the boys/girls off our contacts.
After that he went all cold at me all of a sudden and we rarely got to speak. It got to a point where we would only talk once a week. I got upset and argued to him for his time as it felt as if we were get distanced. It was already hard for us as we were in an LDR.
Our relationship got soo toxic that i would argue with him over the most pettiest of stuff, such as arguing for him to text me back and stay on calls. I obvs understood if he had stuff to do, however he didn’t as he would be talking and playing games all day and not talk to me. He started to block me on my socials, firstly on tiktok and he goes ‘it only tiktok it’s not even deep tf’ but my love language is sending tiktoks to ppl. He then unadded my on snap and normal texts and i could only talk to him on discord. I told him on it that i’m ending it as i don’t feel part of the rs anymore. After this i log into an old game which auto logged into his account and i was tempted to read his dms for evidence to why he went all cold at me. I see this dm from what looked like his ex who asked if they could restart their rs just a few weeks after i broke up with him. I know snooping through his account was wrong of me, but i needed to know why he went all cold and whether he didn’t make the same mistake of making moves with another girl. I dm this girl from my account and she talk to me abt how my bf lost interest in her and moved on rrly quick to me. I give his account details to her so she can check what else happened during the period of time my bf was with me. It turned out he said a ton of stuff to me to another girl and seemed to like this girl (her name is Zainab, but ill explain why I am mentioning names later).
5 months later during April this year, he texts me saying he apologises for what he’s done and i accept it and from then we’re together again, i regained feelings for him too quickly again. I questioned him on Zainab and reassures me that they were only friends and he no longer talks to her anymore and he only loves me and missed me for the duration he didn’t get to talk to me. I accept it and we are talking perfectly normally and seems to be his old self and gives me his attention.

However, shortly after that he goes to his cold self and shows not much attention to me. This time I didn’t question and went into some investigation myself without him knowing. Turned out he was talking to another girl, sending red hearts etc etc. I ask him who the girl was and why he sent the red hearts back to the girl, calling her bae and all. He tells me it was quite a long time ago when he sent that, but i couldn’t tell as there was no timing stated on the dms. I go to him and tell him, could you not please talk to her as both you seemed to by way more close before and it might lead up to ‘a more than friends’ kinda thing. He starts arguing saying im jealous and that i talk to guys and he doesn’t see any wrong in that. However, he was the one who cheated in the first instance and I never did. However, I did talk to 2 dudes whilst we said we would block off the boys/girls we knew, however i only spoke when we gamed.

I tell him from now on let’s just not talk to ppl of the opposite gender if we can’t trust each other, but he goes on to argue saying it isn’t such a big issue.

We don't talk for 2-3days and then he hits me up saying if im alright etc. We talk for a while.

Hours later he randomly goes this relationship isn’t working and that it’s because im always arguing with him about him not giving me attention or going crazy when he talks to another girl. But I reason with him saying im worried to lose you and you’ve cheated twice on me with 2 other girls, it isn’t my fault my behaviour has changed from my laid-back self to being a psycho.

He goes I cant trust u either as u were talking to 2 guys on a game when i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him. However he knows i havent cheated but he has.

I talk to him saying we both have made mistakes before we broke up, and we should put the past behind us, and restart. We should fix ourselves and work on from there. It would take time to build mutual trust but I am willing to give my all for it bc i am still in love with him.

He texts me saying ‘ill think about starting over, we cant go straight to love’. I say that is okay. We play a game together after wards. And since then we didn’t text each other.

Yesterday, i was on a game and it was a coincidence he was on too. He invited me onto a game had a quick ‘how are you’ and played the game. He goes i need to go off now. I say okay take care of yourself.

An hour later, I come back on to see he’s playing with someone else. I go to check who it is but I can't seem to recognise the user and what gender it is.

I realise that the user has the same initials to the girl (Zainab) the one who my bf liked and never told me about. Her last 2 digits of her birth year was used too but i cant seem to know her exact birth year.

I fr turned into a psycho thinking if it was her but I am not certain it is her now.

Someone suggested I add the person to see who it is. They have added me back and I plan to talk to them tomorrow and see who it is.

My issue here is how do I initiate the convo with this person, without the person knowing I know my bf/ex? I don’t wanna look like I was snooping through his profile.

And in the case it is the girl he liked, how should I approach my bf/ex? Should I approach him at all?


i didn't even need to read the whole of it. as soon as i read the part about the how he was flirting/cheating with another girl, even if he was high, i knew. you need to break up with him fully and block him. give it up completely and run as far as you can and do not look back. i skim read the rest and theres absolutely nothing that can redeem him.
Original post by V3N0Mxx
I am a 17yr old girl and my bf is also my age but we are in an long distance relationship. Our relationship is quite a bit complicated. We started dating in March 2022 and we were rrly close, making time for each other, texting all the time, being there for each other, showing each other we loved one another etc etc. however, i noticed that during June 2022 he had become a little distanced from me. I obviously noticed his change in behaviour and i questioned asking why and whether if i had done something. He reassured me it wasn’t me and that he ahd stuff going on in his life and needed a break from everything, including me. I understood and accepted his decision to take the time off and told him i will always be there to back him up whenever. I went on a trip for my dad’s business in July/August, and my i told my bf about it and how excited i was abt it. Atp we were talking but not as much as we used to. I accepted as he was going through stuff. After the trip, i get a message from one of my friends who is also friends with my bf and asked me if me and my bf were dating. I said yes and that we were dating for a while now. She texts me saying my bf is always flirting with her despite me dating him (bare in mind this was during the time where he said he needed to be off socials and limited time to talk to me). I was okay with him being friends with girls at least it was not over the top. My name on his bio and vice versa is what ticked her off. We found out he was cheating on me with my friend otp, he panic texted me saying he was high when he was flirting with the girl and was out of his mind. He said that he went high bc of the stuff going on in his life. He tactically guilt tripped me into saying he would go high if i left him as i was willing to end our rs. I was too blinded in love and accepted what he did and forgave him. We were fine after a while. However we did get into arguments about him talking to other girl and me talking to guys, although i rarely talked to them and only talked if we would play games. So we both blocked the boys/girls off our contacts.
After that he went all cold at me all of a sudden and we rarely got to speak. It got to a point where we would only talk once a week. I got upset and argued to him for his time as it felt as if we were get distanced. It was already hard for us as we were in an LDR.
Our relationship got soo toxic that i would argue with him over the most pettiest of stuff, such as arguing for him to text me back and stay on calls. I obvs understood if he had stuff to do, however he didn’t as he would be talking and playing games all day and not talk to me. He started to block me on my socials, firstly on tiktok and he goes ‘it only tiktok it’s not even deep tf’ but my love language is sending tiktoks to ppl. He then unadded my on snap and normal texts and i could only talk to him on discord. I told him on it that i’m ending it as i don’t feel part of the rs anymore. After this i log into an old game which auto logged into his account and i was tempted to read his dms for evidence to why he went all cold at me. I see this dm from what looked like his ex who asked if they could restart their rs just a few weeks after i broke up with him. I know snooping through his account was wrong of me, but i needed to know why he went all cold and whether he didn’t make the same mistake of making moves with another girl. I dm this girl from my account and she talk to me abt how my bf lost interest in her and moved on rrly quick to me. I give his account details to her so she can check what else happened during the period of time my bf was with me. It turned out he said a ton of stuff to me to another girl and seemed to like this girl (her name is Zainab, but ill explain why I am mentioning names later).
5 months later during April this year, he texts me saying he apologises for what he’s done and i accept it and from then we’re together again, i regained feelings for him too quickly again. I questioned him on Zainab and reassures me that they were only friends and he no longer talks to her anymore and he only loves me and missed me for the duration he didn’t get to talk to me. I accept it and we are talking perfectly normally and seems to be his old self and gives me his attention.

However, shortly after that he goes to his cold self and shows not much attention to me. This time I didn’t question and went into some investigation myself without him knowing. Turned out he was talking to another girl, sending red hearts etc etc. I ask him who the girl was and why he sent the red hearts back to the girl, calling her bae and all. He tells me it was quite a long time ago when he sent that, but i couldn’t tell as there was no timing stated on the dms. I go to him and tell him, could you not please talk to her as both you seemed to by way more close before and it might lead up to ‘a more than friends’ kinda thing. He starts arguing saying im jealous and that i talk to guys and he doesn’t see any wrong in that. However, he was the one who cheated in the first instance and I never did. However, I did talk to 2 dudes whilst we said we would block off the boys/girls we knew, however i only spoke when we gamed.

I tell him from now on let’s just not talk to ppl of the opposite gender if we can’t trust each other, but he goes on to argue saying it isn’t such a big issue.

We don't talk for 2-3days and then he hits me up saying if im alright etc. We talk for a while.

Hours later he randomly goes this relationship isn’t working and that it’s because im always arguing with him about him not giving me attention or going crazy when he talks to another girl. But I reason with him saying im worried to lose you and you’ve cheated twice on me with 2 other girls, it isn’t my fault my behaviour has changed from my laid-back self to being a psycho.

He goes I cant trust u either as u were talking to 2 guys on a game when i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him. However he knows i havent cheated but he has.

I talk to him saying we both have made mistakes before we broke up, and we should put the past behind us, and restart. We should fix ourselves and work on from there. It would take time to build mutual trust but I am willing to give my all for it bc i am still in love with him.

He texts me saying ‘ill think about starting over, we cant go straight to love’. I say that is okay. We play a game together after wards. And since then we didn’t text each other.

Yesterday, i was on a game and it was a coincidence he was on too. He invited me onto a game had a quick ‘how are you’ and played the game. He goes i need to go off now. I say okay take care of yourself.

An hour later, I come back on to see he’s playing with someone else. I go to check who it is but I can't seem to recognise the user and what gender it is.

I realise that the user has the same initials to the girl (Zainab) the one who my bf liked and never told me about. Her last 2 digits of her birth year was used too but i cant seem to know her exact birth year.

I fr turned into a psycho thinking if it was her but I am not certain it is her now.

Someone suggested I add the person to see who it is. They have added me back and I plan to talk to them tomorrow and see who it is.

My issue here is how do I initiate the convo with this person, without the person knowing I know my bf/ex? I don’t wanna look like I was snooping through his profile.

And in the case it is the girl he liked, how should I approach my bf/ex? Should I approach him at all?

Do yourself a favour and let it go. You’re already long distance and there is no trust whatsoever. You’re just putting yourself through unnecessary turmoil by allowing him to destroy your mental health any further.

You should approach him by saying that he has basically no respect for you, you have no trust in him and the hope of a successful relationship has been extinguished beyond repair, so it’s best that you go your separate ways.
Reply 4
I read this whole long thing.

You need to stop contacting people he's associated with, and logging into his accounts. You're making yourself go insane, know when to stop. A guy who is truly into you wouldn't act this way towards you. Don't contact this person have some pride.
Think it’s understandable that he cheated tbh, it’s long distance and the man has needs.
Reply 6
Original post by xox416
I read this whole long thing.

You need to stop contacting people he's associated with, and logging into his accounts. You're making yourself go insane, know when to stop. A guy who is truly into you wouldn't act this way towards you. Don't contact this person have some pride.


i appreciate u reading all of it!!
yeah, i tried not using my phone today and focusing on my college work. i've deleted his account off my phone and minimised contacts with the mutuals we share.

it's kinda hard bc we've been together for a year roughly. but i think i've coped better this time than the first time we broke up.

he texted me an hour ago saying 'heyy'. do u think it's best if i say something, or just straight up block. I don't wanna seem mean :bawling:

Original post by SagaciousSag
Do yourself a favour and let it go. You’re already long distance and there is no trust whatsoever. You’re just putting yourself through unnecessary turmoil by allowing him to destroy your mental health any further.

You should approach him by saying that he has basically no respect for you, you have no trust in him and the hope of a successful relationship has been extinguished beyond repair, so it’s best that you go your separate ways.

Original post by TazmeenX
i didn't even need to read the whole of it. as soon as i read the part about the how he was flirting/cheating with another girl, even if he was high, i knew. you need to break up with him fully and block him. give it up completely and run as far as you can and do not look back. i skim read the rest and theres absolutely nothing that can redeem him.


it has rrly affected my mental health. i havent rrly been able to focus on my a levels bc of him. I will try end it on good terms bc atp we can't even be 'just friends' as there's no mutual trust between us at all.

I've learnt to be more calm abt things like this and not set alight arguments.

Thank you soo much for ur inputs guys! I appreciate it a lot!

Original post by Little pecker
Think it’s understandable that he cheated tbh, it’s long distance and the man has needs.


this is why i was warned abt long distance beforehand but i never listen :bawling:
why can't ppl just be loyal or just straight on say they aren't interested instead of leading the other person on??
Original post by V3N0Mxx
i appreciate u reading all of it!!
yeah, i tried not using my phone today and focusing on my college work. i've deleted his account off my phone and minimised contacts with the mutuals we share.

it's kinda hard bc we've been together for a year roughly. but i think i've coped better this time than the first time we broke up.

he texted me an hour ago saying 'heyy'. do u think it's best if i say something, or just straight up block. I don't wanna seem mean :bawling:




it has rrly affected my mental health. i havent rrly been able to focus on my a levels bc of him. I will try end it on good terms bc atp we can't even be 'just friends' as there's no mutual trust between us at all.

I've learnt to be more calm abt things like this and not set alight arguments.

Thank you soo much for ur inputs guys! I appreciate it a lot!



this is why i was warned abt long distance beforehand but i never listen :bawling:
why can't ppl just be loyal or just straight on say they aren't interested instead of leading the other person on??


People think they can, then find out they can’t
Reply 8
Original post by V3N0Mxx
i appreciate u reading all of it!!
yeah, i tried not using my phone today and focusing on my college work. i've deleted his account off my phone and minimised contacts with the mutuals we share.

it's kinda hard bc we've been together for a year roughly. but i think i've coped better this time than the first time we broke up.

he texted me an hour ago saying 'heyy'. do u think it's best if i say something, or just straight up block. I don't wanna seem mean :bawling:




it has rrly affected my mental health. i havent rrly been able to focus on my a levels bc of him. I will try end it on good terms bc atp we can't even be 'just friends' as there's no mutual trust between us at all.

I've learnt to be more calm abt things like this and not set alight arguments.

Thank you soo much for ur inputs guys! I appreciate it a lot!



this is why i was warned abt long distance beforehand but i never listen :bawling:
why can't ppl just be loyal or just straight on say they aren't interested instead of leading the other person on??


No don't say anything to him. You have a backbone and pride. You're going to reply and then he's going to hurt your feelings again. With his dry "heyyy"...remember he was quick to drop you to play with someone else 🎮
Reply 9
Original post by xox416
No don't say anything to him. You have a backbone and pride. You're going to reply and then he's going to hurt your feelings again. With his dry "heyyy"...remember he was quick to drop you to play with someone else 🎮


it's soo tempting to text him back bc even though he's hurt me soo much and went as far as to compare me to his girl best friend, i still don't know why i love him. it's probably the memories we had together which make me reminisce what we had.

i will probably just block him and live my life in peace now.

Thank you soo much for this!!
Original post by V3N0Mxx
it's soo tempting to text him back bc even though he's hurt me soo much and went as far as to compare me to his girl best friend, i still don't know why i love him. it's probably the memories we had together which make me reminisce what we had.

i will probably just block him and live my life in peace now.

Thank you soo much for this!!


And he knows you will text him back. And when you do he will put you back on the back burner. Take the wheel.
Reply 11
Original post by xox416
And he knows you will text him back. And when you do he will put you back on the back burner. Take the wheel.


take the wheel and drive off far away from him, and arrive to my final destination (hopefully lol). love this!! thank you soo much!!
Original post by V3N0Mxx
I am a 17yr old girl and my bf is also my age but we are in an long distance relationship. Our relationship is quite a bit complicated. We started dating in March 2022 and we were rrly close, making time for each other, texting all the time, being there for each other, showing each other we loved one another etc etc. however, i noticed that during June 2022 he had become a little distanced from me. I obviously noticed his change in behaviour and i questioned asking why and whether if i had done something. He reassured me it wasn’t me and that he ahd stuff going on in his life and needed a break from everything, including me. I understood and accepted his decision to take the time off and told him i will always be there to back him up whenever. I went on a trip for my dad’s business in July/August, and my i told my bf about it and how excited i was abt it. Atp we were talking but not as much as we used to. I accepted as he was going through stuff. After the trip, i get a message from one of my friends who is also friends with my bf and asked me if me and my bf were dating. I said yes and that we were dating for a while now. She texts me saying my bf is always flirting with her despite me dating him (bare in mind this was during the time where he said he needed to be off socials and limited time to talk to me). I was okay with him being friends with girls at least it was not over the top. My name on his bio and vice versa is what ticked her off. We found out he was cheating on me with my friend otp, he panic texted me saying he was high when he was flirting with the girl and was out of his mind. He said that he went high bc of the stuff going on in his life. He tactically guilt tripped me into saying he would go high if i left him as i was willing to end our rs. I was too blinded in love and accepted what he did and forgave him. We were fine after a while. However we did get into arguments about him talking to other girl and me talking to guys, although i rarely talked to them and only talked if we would play games. So we both blocked the boys/girls off our contacts.
After that he went all cold at me all of a sudden and we rarely got to speak. It got to a point where we would only talk once a week. I got upset and argued to him for his time as it felt as if we were get distanced. It was already hard for us as we were in an LDR.
Our relationship got soo toxic that i would argue with him over the most pettiest of stuff, such as arguing for him to text me back and stay on calls. I obvs understood if he had stuff to do, however he didn’t as he would be talking and playing games all day and not talk to me. He started to block me on my socials, firstly on tiktok and he goes ‘it only tiktok it’s not even deep tf’ but my love language is sending tiktoks to ppl. He then unadded my on snap and normal texts and i could only talk to him on discord. I told him on it that i’m ending it as i don’t feel part of the rs anymore. After this i log into an old game which auto logged into his account and i was tempted to read his dms for evidence to why he went all cold at me. I see this dm from what looked like his ex who asked if they could restart their rs just a few weeks after i broke up with him. I know snooping through his account was wrong of me, but i needed to know why he went all cold and whether he didn’t make the same mistake of making moves with another girl. I dm this girl from my account and she talk to me abt how my bf lost interest in her and moved on rrly quick to me. I give his account details to her so she can check what else happened during the period of time my bf was with me. It turned out he said a ton of stuff to me to another girl and seemed to like this girl (her name is Zainab, but ill explain why I am mentioning names later).
5 months later during April this year, he texts me saying he apologises for what he’s done and i accept it and from then we’re together again, i regained feelings for him too quickly again. I questioned him on Zainab and reassures me that they were only friends and he no longer talks to her anymore and he only loves me and missed me for the duration he didn’t get to talk to me. I accept it and we are talking perfectly normally and seems to be his old self and gives me his attention.

However, shortly after that he goes to his cold self and shows not much attention to me. This time I didn’t question and went into some investigation myself without him knowing. Turned out he was talking to another girl, sending red hearts etc etc. I ask him who the girl was and why he sent the red hearts back to the girl, calling her bae and all. He tells me it was quite a long time ago when he sent that, but i couldn’t tell as there was no timing stated on the dms. I go to him and tell him, could you not please talk to her as both you seemed to by way more close before and it might lead up to ‘a more than friends’ kinda thing. He starts arguing saying im jealous and that i talk to guys and he doesn’t see any wrong in that. However, he was the one who cheated in the first instance and I never did. However, I did talk to 2 dudes whilst we said we would block off the boys/girls we knew, however i only spoke when we gamed.

I tell him from now on let’s just not talk to ppl of the opposite gender if we can’t trust each other, but he goes on to argue saying it isn’t such a big issue.

We don't talk for 2-3days and then he hits me up saying if im alright etc. We talk for a while.

Hours later he randomly goes this relationship isn’t working and that it’s because im always arguing with him about him not giving me attention or going crazy when he talks to another girl. But I reason with him saying im worried to lose you and you’ve cheated twice on me with 2 other girls, it isn’t my fault my behaviour has changed from my laid-back self to being a psycho.

He goes I cant trust u either as u were talking to 2 guys on a game when i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him. However he knows i havent cheated but he has.

I talk to him saying we both have made mistakes before we broke up, and we should put the past behind us, and restart. We should fix ourselves and work on from there. It would take time to build mutual trust but I am willing to give my all for it bc i am still in love with him.

He texts me saying ‘ill think about starting over, we cant go straight to love’. I say that is okay. We play a game together after wards. And since then we didn’t text each other.

Yesterday, i was on a game and it was a coincidence he was on too. He invited me onto a game had a quick ‘how are you’ and played the game. He goes i need to go off now. I say okay take care of yourself.

An hour later, I come back on to see he’s playing with someone else. I go to check who it is but I can't seem to recognise the user and what gender it is.

I realise that the user has the same initials to the girl (Zainab) the one who my bf liked and never told me about. Her last 2 digits of her birth year was used too but i cant seem to know her exact birth year.

I fr turned into a psycho thinking if it was her but I am not certain it is her now.

Someone suggested I add the person to see who it is. They have added me back and I plan to talk to them tomorrow and see who it is.

My issue here is how do I initiate the convo with this person, without the person knowing I know my bf/ex? I don’t wanna look like I was snooping through his profile.

And in the case it is the girl he liked, how should I approach my bf/ex? Should I approach him at all?


alright so i read this whole thing and my honest opinion is that the more you try stalk who hes playing with and stuff like that the more you're gonna end up making yourself overthink and stress. think to urself is he doing the same for you? i genuinely think you should block him and save ur own mental health
Original post by V3N0Mxx
I am a 17yr old girl and my bf is also my age but we are in an long distance relationship. Our relationship is quite a bit complicated. We started dating in March 2022 and we were rrly close, making time for each other, texting all the time, being there for each other, showing each other we loved one another etc etc. however, i noticed that during June 2022 he had become a little distanced from me. I obviously noticed his change in behaviour and i questioned asking why and whether if i had done something. He reassured me it wasn’t me and that he ahd stuff going on in his life and needed a break from everything, including me. I understood and accepted his decision to take the time off and told him i will always be there to back him up whenever. I went on a trip for my dad’s business in July/August, and my i told my bf about it and how excited i was abt it. Atp we were talking but not as much as we used to. I accepted as he was going through stuff. After the trip, i get a message from one of my friends who is also friends with my bf and asked me if me and my bf were dating. I said yes and that we were dating for a while now. She texts me saying my bf is always flirting with her despite me dating him (bare in mind this was during the time where he said he needed to be off socials and limited time to talk to me). I was okay with him being friends with girls at least it was not over the top. My name on his bio and vice versa is what ticked her off. We found out he was cheating on me with my friend otp, he panic texted me saying he was high when he was flirting with the girl and was out of his mind. He said that he went high bc of the stuff going on in his life. He tactically guilt tripped me into saying he would go high if i left him as i was willing to end our rs. I was too blinded in love and accepted what he did and forgave him. We were fine after a while. However we did get into arguments about him talking to other girl and me talking to guys, although i rarely talked to them and only talked if we would play games. So we both blocked the boys/girls off our contacts.
After that he went all cold at me all of a sudden and we rarely got to speak. It got to a point where we would only talk once a week. I got upset and argued to him for his time as it felt as if we were get distanced. It was already hard for us as we were in an LDR.
Our relationship got soo toxic that i would argue with him over the most pettiest of stuff, such as arguing for him to text me back and stay on calls. I obvs understood if he had stuff to do, however he didn’t as he would be talking and playing games all day and not talk to me. He started to block me on my socials, firstly on tiktok and he goes ‘it only tiktok it’s not even deep tf’ but my love language is sending tiktoks to ppl. He then unadded my on snap and normal texts and i could only talk to him on discord. I told him on it that i’m ending it as i don’t feel part of the rs anymore. After this i log into an old game which auto logged into his account and i was tempted to read his dms for evidence to why he went all cold at me. I see this dm from what looked like his ex who asked if they could restart their rs just a few weeks after i broke up with him. I know snooping through his account was wrong of me, but i needed to know why he went all cold and whether he didn’t make the same mistake of making moves with another girl. I dm this girl from my account and she talk to me abt how my bf lost interest in her and moved on rrly quick to me. I give his account details to her so she can check what else happened during the period of time my bf was with me. It turned out he said a ton of stuff to me to another girl and seemed to like this girl (her name is Zainab, but ill explain why I am mentioning names later).
5 months later during April this year, he texts me saying he apologises for what he’s done and i accept it and from then we’re together again, i regained feelings for him too quickly again. I questioned him on Zainab and reassures me that they were only friends and he no longer talks to her anymore and he only loves me and missed me for the duration he didn’t get to talk to me. I accept it and we are talking perfectly normally and seems to be his old self and gives me his attention.

However, shortly after that he goes to his cold self and shows not much attention to me. This time I didn’t question and went into some investigation myself without him knowing. Turned out he was talking to another girl, sending red hearts etc etc. I ask him who the girl was and why he sent the red hearts back to the girl, calling her bae and all. He tells me it was quite a long time ago when he sent that, but i couldn’t tell as there was no timing stated on the dms. I go to him and tell him, could you not please talk to her as both you seemed to by way more close before and it might lead up to ‘a more than friends’ kinda thing. He starts arguing saying im jealous and that i talk to guys and he doesn’t see any wrong in that. However, he was the one who cheated in the first instance and I never did. However, I did talk to 2 dudes whilst we said we would block off the boys/girls we knew, however i only spoke when we gamed.

I tell him from now on let’s just not talk to ppl of the opposite gender if we can’t trust each other, but he goes on to argue saying it isn’t such a big issue.

We don't talk for 2-3days and then he hits me up saying if im alright etc. We talk for a while.

Hours later he randomly goes this relationship isn’t working and that it’s because im always arguing with him about him not giving me attention or going crazy when he talks to another girl. But I reason with him saying im worried to lose you and you’ve cheated twice on me with 2 other girls, it isn’t my fault my behaviour has changed from my laid-back self to being a psycho.

He goes I cant trust u either as u were talking to 2 guys on a game when i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him. However he knows i havent cheated but he has.

I talk to him saying we both have made mistakes before we broke up, and we should put the past behind us, and restart. We should fix ourselves and work on from there. It would take time to build mutual trust but I am willing to give my all for it bc i am still in love with him.

He texts me saying ‘ill think about starting over, we cant go straight to love’. I say that is okay. We play a game together after wards. And since then we didn’t text each other.

Yesterday, i was on a game and it was a coincidence he was on too. He invited me onto a game had a quick ‘how are you’ and played the game. He goes i need to go off now. I say okay take care of yourself.

An hour later, I come back on to see he’s playing with someone else. I go to check who it is but I can't seem to recognise the user and what gender it is.

I realise that the user has the same initials to the girl (Zainab) the one who my bf liked and never told me about. Her last 2 digits of her birth year was used too but i cant seem to know her exact birth year.

I fr turned into a psycho thinking if it was her but I am not certain it is her now.

Someone suggested I add the person to see who it is. They have added me back and I plan to talk to them tomorrow and see who it is.

My issue here is how do I initiate the convo with this person, without the person knowing I know my bf/ex? I don’t wanna look like I was snooping through his profile.

And in the case it is the girl he liked, how should I approach my bf/ex? Should I approach him at all?

Wow , you’re lacking self respect here, if you stay you’re going to damage yourself and your mental health to a way worse state, my advice is to stay and run as far away as possible, i know it sounds cliche but time will heal, in a couple of months you’ll look back on this and think “what was i doing?” you need to focus on yourself, your only young, don’t worry about having a boyfriend , focus, on, your, self
ahh girl i’ve been in a similar situation to you, your “bf” is just gaslighting you. he’s done the wrong and he’s mad at you for just speaking to guys, and that’s because he’s insecure and knows the wrong things he does. he’s not going to change and he’s going to continue talking to other girls behind your back if you go back to him. tbh it seems like he’s only messaging you when he needs some attention and then backs away and turns cold when he’s getting some from somewhere else. ldr rarely workout too, focus on yourself and your college!! you got this!!
Reply 15
Original post by ihytasha
ahh girl i’ve been in a similar situation to you, your “bf” is just gaslighting you. he’s done the wrong and he’s mad at you for just speaking to guys, and that’s because he’s insecure and knows the wrong things he does. he’s not going to change and he’s going to continue talking to other girls behind your back if you go back to him. tbh it seems like he’s only messaging you when he needs some attention and then backs away and turns cold when he’s getting some from somewhere else. ldr rarely workout too, focus on yourself and your college!! you got this!!



hiya, thanks for reading the whole thing ik it's rrly long lmao.
i have blocked him on everything, but he still manages to make alt account's just to contact me. He's done this about 3/4 times now using different accounts. I managed to talk to him in the case he doesn't know why i blocked him and he deserves to know bc I was with him at one point. his response let's just say was my cup of tea and he just seemed rrly angry. He even blocked off our mutuals.
Learnt that he was baiting me bc he knew i went on his account and read his dms and talked to one his boys bout it and that he didn't want to change his password otherwise i cldn't read them.
I even had a pfp of me in this tracksuits and the boy has the exact same one and changed his pfp to his just for me to gain his attention. I was crying lmfaoo.
thank u soo much for the motivation! it honestly rrly helps x

Original post by Nooooooibe
in a couple of months you’ll look back on this and think “what was i doing?” you need to focus on yourself, your only young, don’t worry about having a boyfriend , focus, on, your, self

icl i am looking at it rn and thinking i wasted my time on him. he rrly broke down my mental health and anyways i feel like i could do soo much better irl. nahh im not worried abt having a bf, he just came along in my life. sad thing is i got cheated on some1 who wanted me first. :bawling:
Original post by V3N0Mxx
hiya, thanks for reading the whole thing ik it's rrly long lmao.
i have blocked him on everything, but he still manages to make alt account's just to contact me. He's done this about 3/4 times now using different accounts. I managed to talk to him in the case he doesn't know why i blocked him and he deserves to know bc I was with him at one point. his response let's just say was my cup of tea and he just seemed rrly angry. He even blocked off our mutuals.
Learnt that he was baiting me bc he knew i went on his account and read his dms and talked to one his boys bout it and that he didn't want to change his password otherwise i cldn't read them.
I even had a pfp of me in this tracksuits and the boy has the exact same one and changed his pfp to his just for me to gain his attention. I was crying lmfaoo.
thank u soo much for the motivation! it honestly rrly helps x


icl i am looking at it rn and thinking i wasted my time on him. he rrly broke down my mental health and anyways i feel like i could do soo much better irl. nahh im not worried abt having a bf, he just came along in my life. sad thing is i got cheated on some1 who wanted me first. :bawling:


no problem girly, it’ll all get easier soon x
Original post by V3N0Mxx
I am a 17yr old girl and my bf is also my age but we are in an long distance relationship. Our relationship is quite a bit complicated. We started dating in March 2022 and we were rrly close, making time for each other, texting all the time, being there for each other, showing each other we loved one another etc etc. however, i noticed that during June 2022 he had become a little distanced from me. I obviously noticed his change in behaviour and i questioned asking why and whether if i had done something. He reassured me it wasn’t me and that he ahd stuff going on in his life and needed a break from everything, including me. I understood and accepted his decision to take the time off and told him i will always be there to back him up whenever. I went on a trip for my dad’s business in July/August, and my i told my bf about it and how excited i was abt it. Atp we were talking but not as much as we used to. I accepted as he was going through stuff. After the trip, i get a message from one of my friends who is also friends with my bf and asked me if me and my bf were dating. I said yes and that we were dating for a while now. She texts me saying my bf is always flirting with her despite me dating him (bare in mind this was during the time where he said he needed to be off socials and limited time to talk to me). I was okay with him being friends with girls at least it was not over the top. My name on his bio and vice versa is what ticked her off. We found out he was cheating on me with my friend otp, he panic texted me saying he was high when he was flirting with the girl and was out of his mind. He said that he went high bc of the stuff going on in his life. He tactically guilt tripped me into saying he would go high if i left him as i was willing to end our rs. I was too blinded in love and accepted what he did and forgave him. We were fine after a while. However we did get into arguments about him talking to other girl and me talking to guys, although i rarely talked to them and only talked if we would play games. So we both blocked the boys/girls off our contacts.
After that he went all cold at me all of a sudden and we rarely got to speak. It got to a point where we would only talk once a week. I got upset and argued to him for his time as it felt as if we were get distanced. It was already hard for us as we were in an LDR.
Our relationship got soo toxic that i would argue with him over the most pettiest of stuff, such as arguing for him to text me back and stay on calls. I obvs understood if he had stuff to do, however he didn’t as he would be talking and playing games all day and not talk to me. He started to block me on my socials, firstly on tiktok and he goes ‘it only tiktok it’s not even deep tf’ but my love language is sending tiktoks to ppl. He then unadded my on snap and normal texts and i could only talk to him on discord. I told him on it that i’m ending it as i don’t feel part of the rs anymore. After this i log into an old game which auto logged into his account and i was tempted to read his dms for evidence to why he went all cold at me. I see this dm from what looked like his ex who asked if they could restart their rs just a few weeks after i broke up with him. I know snooping through his account was wrong of me, but i needed to know why he went all cold and whether he didn’t make the same mistake of making moves with another girl. I dm this girl from my account and she talk to me abt how my bf lost interest in her and moved on rrly quick to me. I give his account details to her so she can check what else happened during the period of time my bf was with me. It turned out he said a ton of stuff to me to another girl and seemed to like this girl (her name is Zainab, but ill explain why I am mentioning names later).
5 months later during April this year, he texts me saying he apologises for what he’s done and i accept it and from then we’re together again, i regained feelings for him too quickly again. I questioned him on Zainab and reassures me that they were only friends and he no longer talks to her anymore and he only loves me and missed me for the duration he didn’t get to talk to me. I accept it and we are talking perfectly normally and seems to be his old self and gives me his attention.

However, shortly after that he goes to his cold self and shows not much attention to me. This time I didn’t question and went into some investigation myself without him knowing. Turned out he was talking to another girl, sending red hearts etc etc. I ask him who the girl was and why he sent the red hearts back to the girl, calling her bae and all. He tells me it was quite a long time ago when he sent that, but i couldn’t tell as there was no timing stated on the dms. I go to him and tell him, could you not please talk to her as both you seemed to by way more close before and it might lead up to ‘a more than friends’ kinda thing. He starts arguing saying im jealous and that i talk to guys and he doesn’t see any wrong in that. However, he was the one who cheated in the first instance and I never did. However, I did talk to 2 dudes whilst we said we would block off the boys/girls we knew, however i only spoke when we gamed.

I tell him from now on let’s just not talk to ppl of the opposite gender if we can’t trust each other, but he goes on to argue saying it isn’t such a big issue.

We don't talk for 2-3days and then he hits me up saying if im alright etc. We talk for a while.

Hours later he randomly goes this relationship isn’t working and that it’s because im always arguing with him about him not giving me attention or going crazy when he talks to another girl. But I reason with him saying im worried to lose you and you’ve cheated twice on me with 2 other girls, it isn’t my fault my behaviour has changed from my laid-back self to being a psycho.

He goes I cant trust u either as u were talking to 2 guys on a game when i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him. However he knows i havent cheated but he has.

I talk to him saying we both have made mistakes before we broke up, and we should put the past behind us, and restart. We should fix ourselves and work on from there. It would take time to build mutual trust but I am willing to give my all for it bc i am still in love with him.

He texts me saying ‘ill think about starting over, we cant go straight to love’. I say that is okay. We play a game together after wards. And since then we didn’t text each other.

Yesterday, i was on a game and it was a coincidence he was on too. He invited me onto a game had a quick ‘how are you’ and played the game. He goes i need to go off now. I say okay take care of yourself.

An hour later, I come back on to see he’s playing with someone else. I go to check who it is but I can't seem to recognise the user and what gender it is.

I realise that the user has the same initials to the girl (Zainab) the one who my bf liked and never told me about. Her last 2 digits of her birth year was used too but i cant seem to know her exact birth year.

I fr turned into a psycho thinking if it was her but I am not certain it is her now.

Someone suggested I add the person to see who it is. They have added me back and I plan to talk to them tomorrow and see who it is.

My issue here is how do I initiate the convo with this person, without the person knowing I know my bf/ex? I don’t wanna look like I was snooping through his profile.

And in the case it is the girl he liked, how should I approach my bf/ex? Should I approach him at all?


Skill issue tbf
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
Skill issue tbf


wym
Original post by V3N0Mxx
wym

your skill level isnt high enough to start this side quest: Skill level required 100 (yours = 12)

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