Anyone else sick of their hallmates? Watch

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Angel_Cake
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#1
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When I first got to uni I absolutely hated it because I felt I had nobody with whom I could identify - the people I was with in halls were alright, but we had nothing in common and after spending the entire summer with friends from home who I felt really close to, it felt like such a shock.

Things got so much better after the first couple of weeks because I made friends outside of halls who I'm now really close to and get on really well with, but it seems as if my hallmates really resent me for this! I know they think I think I'm too good for them (I don't, it's just I don't see the point of making myself miserable spending time with people I have nothing in common with) and if ever I'm in the kitchen with them and try and make general conversation they are never particularly friendly or chatty. They assumed I would be living with them next year, even though I spend perhaps only one night a week with them, and got really funny about it when I said I was already sorted for a house with some other friends.

I feel really strange for feeling like this because most people I speak to have met their best friends in halls and are living with them next year. I know it's hardly a major problem and it's not like I haven't made any friends, but I'm finding it really hard sharing a living space with people who I suspect are always *****ing about me because they think I'm a snob! Anyone else in the same situation?
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rvd48
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im in halls, 1st yr. live with 5 other ppl.
dont speak to 1 flatm8 and he lives rite next to me, he blasts his music and has no common respect, i.e. doesnt put the volume down. he is a **** head

other 2 i get on ok with but dont socialise with em.
other guy, i talk to him, but dont socialise again,
last guy, i socialise with him, we go out to SU bar,etc with another mate.
i usually go out with different ppl from other halls
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Juno
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I hate the girl in the room next to mine. But I got drunk one night and shouted at her and she's not horrible now!
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Flicker
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(Original post by Angel_Cake)
When I first got to uni I absolutely hated it because I felt I had nobody with whom I could identify - the people I was with in halls were alright, but we had nothing in common and after spending the entire summer with friends from home who I felt really close to, it felt like such a shock.

Things got so much better after the first couple of weeks because I made friends outside of halls who I'm now really close to and get on really well with, but it seems as if my hallmates really resent me for this! I know they think I think I'm too good for them (I don't, it's just I don't see the point of making myself miserable spending time with people I have nothing in common with) and if ever I'm in the kitchen with them and try and make general conversation they are never particularly friendly or chatty. They assumed I would be living with them next year, even though I spend perhaps only one night a week with them, and got really funny about it when I said I was already sorted for a house with some other friends.

I feel really strange for feeling like this because most people I speak to have met their best friends in halls and are living with them next year. I know it's hardly a major problem and it's not like I haven't made any friends, but I'm finding it really hard sharing a living space with people who I suspect are always *****ing about me because they think I'm a snob! Anyone else in the same situation?
sounds like my boyfriend last year! he lived with 3 guys in halls - 1 was really quiet and just kept with his friends outside and the other 2 were compeltel t**ts - music up til 4 in the morning, people coming in and out all night and slamming the doors, they didn't talk to him, even to acknowledge him when he walked past them in teh corridor. now he's living with friends off his course and he's much happier!

he didn't have problems with them *****ing but i geuss that blokes for you...he nearly moved but then just thought why should he when there was only a few weeks left. there's a bit longer for you so you could look into moving halls? if not, just keep strong and see it through - stay polite and just stay out of their way as much as possible...i don't understand why they'd assume you were moving in with them though - seems a bit weird!
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Angel_Cake
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(Original post by allisandro)
i don't understand why they'd assume you were moving in with them though - seems a bit weird!
Yeah i know, I was really surprised too! Everyone here is just too lazy to go and find friends who they actually like or have something in common with though, so they just stick with who they've been put with, and I guess they assumed I'd do the same. To be honest I think they barely even noticed I had other friends, and just assumed when I wasn't with them I was working!
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white_haired_wizard
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(Original post by Angel_Cake)
When I first got to uni I absolutely hated it because I felt I had nobody with whom I could identify - the people I was with in halls were alright, but we had nothing in common and after spending the entire summer with friends from home who I felt really close to, it felt like such a shock.

Things got so much better after the first couple of weeks because I made friends outside of halls who I'm now really close to and get on really well with, but it seems as if my hallmates really resent me for this! I know they think I think I'm too good for them (I don't, it's just I don't see the point of making myself miserable spending time with people I have nothing in common with) and if ever I'm in the kitchen with them and try and make general conversation they are never particularly friendly or chatty. They assumed I would be living with them next year, even though I spend perhaps only one night a week with them, and got really funny about it when I said I was already sorted for a house with some other friends.

I feel really strange for feeling like this because most people I speak to have met their best friends in halls and are living with them next year. I know it's hardly a major problem and it's not like I haven't made any friends, but I'm finding it really hard sharing a living space with people who I suspect are always *****ing about me because they think I'm a snob! Anyone else in the same situation?


Yes im now a second yr @ uni and i had the same problem - didn't connect with anyone in the house except for three people - two of them were FRENCH! and they were great...im keeping in touch with them via email because they've gone back home after the year they had at my uni.

Seriously do what you want to do "do it your way"....out of 16 people, im only with 1 of them in my second yr and 3 others not from my block.....i found it horrible sharing a campus place with 16 people i didnt connect with - it was dreadful (sorry just to set the scene im a 20yr old bloke)....i just couldnt laugh with them so it was a lost cause....i understand where you're coming from. I have not seen any of my other 16 or so housemates since may last yr and im happy about that....i felt so uncomfortable around them (there was a close-knit group of about 8....couldn't hack it around them!) then another group of four girls who were cool and ok but i didnt socialise with - didnt connect with them but they were nice people....but the major group were *****ing about me and had nicknames for me - i found them out....but my personality is often misunderstood so it didnt bother me...but there was *****ing and was a bit unsettling....didnt upset me because they weren't "my" people. Im a quiet guy, particularly around unfamiliar people, just like most at the start...some i connect with (but that takes a while) and those where it will just never click - being a quiet person often gets you the label of being arrogant (which i overheard a girl calling me)....i am a confident secure person, might come across as sarcastic but i can't help my accent....its misunderstood - when im serious people can often take me for taking the piss...can rememeber jeremy edwards in big brother saying something similar and i can relate to that...unfortunately not to his looks! Saying that doesn't make me gay! im not...but he is good looking.

People who ***** aren't worth knowing....sometimes it may be justified but in most cases it never is. Some people at uni are incredible hypocrites. I don't feel i stood up for myself enough in my first year, i should have given a few people a good shouting at!

Take care...but do whatever you feel is best...you are certainly not the only one!
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Checking for Spies
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I know two people who've just dropped out after being bullied by their hallmates It must suck,but I guess the chances of it happening must be pretty slim (hopefully!)
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Chicken
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(Original post by Angel_Cake)
I feel really strange for feeling like this because most people I speak to have met their best friends in halls and are living with them next year. I know it's hardly a major problem and it's not like I haven't made any friends, but I'm finding it really hard sharing a living space with people who I suspect are always *****ing about me because they think I'm a snob! Anyone else in the same situation?
I live with the people I was in halls with - I got on with them at first and spent most of my time with them when everything was new and exciting, and we sorted out a house, but then I made closer friends with people on my course and am not close with my housemates at all, would rather live with my better friends. I wouldn't worry about it, just try your best to be pleasant to them - you haven't really got that much time left with them!
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ChemistBoy
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I had some problems with hallmates in 1st year too and I think it was a bit of a class divide. We had to share rooms in first year and there were 8 of us on my corridor 4 public school /boarder types and 4 state school types, each room had an occupant of each type. We seemed to split off into two groups along those social divides almost straight away and I personally found it difficult living with people who didn't have the same concept of privacy as me. One guy was particularly arrogant and selfish (not my roommate) and operated the "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine" routine - once he actually rifled through my CD collection and took a CD without once acknowledging my presence in the room! He also smoked prolifically, despite being placed in a non-smoking corridor ("I didn't want to share a room with a smoker" he said) and despite my best efforts there was nothing I could do to get him or me moved (apparently I was a "souless, fascist pig" in his words). I thank him though because he made me a more tolerant person (after almost making me go insane).

Trust me it gets a heap better in second year. Whilst I am a great advocate of trying to see the best in people and befriend them it is your privelege to pick and choose your friends regardless of who you have been randomly selected to live with.
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lou p lou
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my halls are interesting... 10 girls. there's 3 medics and they'r einseperable, then tere's a girl whose bf is a medic so she hangs round with them and a dentist (whose ex is a medic)... so basically it's the medic-y crew and the rest of us... they all seem to be becoming clones of each other and it's pretty funny. however, there is a lot of biitching and the first week back after christmas it was horrible (i was in tears on the phone to my bf cos i hated lived in this kind of atmosphere), but it does seem to have quietened down now and we know that next year there's only going to be 4 of us (who get on really well) and it will improve... i guess you can't expect to get on with everyone

lou xxx
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*Laura*
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I think I have a pretty nice corridoor of people...we're kinda in 2 separate groups as to who we get on best with, but everyone's nice and we all talk to each other. It's the floor above us which is annoying cos they always seem to play football loudly lol.
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Sarky
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In my flat there are:

A warden
A 40 year old mature student who goes home every weekend
An internation student doing a foundation course who doesn't speak
Another international student who doesn't talk
A second year medical student who doesn't have time to do much
ME :mad:

I do not like my flat at all.
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LongGone
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Our hall is weird. It's orgnaised into blocks of about 16, and most of them seem to have split into two groups or so who are generally really close to each other and really get on, whereas with our block... it's not so much that we don't get on, we just don't seem to talk to each other or hang out a great deal. People from other blokcs have noticed and find it a bit strange. And because the other blocks are such big bonded groups, it can be heard to make really good friends with them sometimes. Just bad luck I guess. Luckily I've sorted out a house for next year with two girls from another block, and another from another hall, so it seems to have turned out ok.
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Kew
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(Original post by Sarky)

In my flat there are:

A warden
A 40 year old mature student who goes home every weekend
An internation student doing a foundation course who doesn't speak
Another international student who doesn't talk
A second year medical student who doesn't have time to do much
ME :mad:

I do not like my flat at all.
Your warden lives in the same flat as you??? That seems rather peculiar...
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Sarky
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(Original post by kew96158)
Your warden lives in the same flat as you??? That seems rather peculiar...
Yes he does :mad:
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Sophdoph
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My friends downstairs live with their warden but she's pretty nice.

I live with..
A girl who doesn't talk at all really and has a regimental life routine

An annoying bloke who smokes weed and plays music loudly at very unsociable times, has his manky friends round all the time leaving our flat unlocked

And 3 wonderful people, another girl and 2 boys who I will be living with next year

I am sick of annoying bloke, because of the smell of weed and the noise but we've had a go at him now and he's got a bit better. Will be nicer when it's a smaller number and we all get on. Halls are tense places at time, it's very rare if all the people in a flat/hall are friends.
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undiscovered
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#17
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Do you know a girl called Stephanie R***, Soph? Chances are slim, but you might!
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