The Student Room Group

How to make a move on a work colleague?

So I work for a big company, both of us work at the same grade so there’s no problem of abuse of power etc

We work in different offices and were working on a project together back in April, we would be on Teams call together and got on really well.

Since then, we have been texting on MS Teams but its been very casual and I haven’t even seen his face, but I like his personality and want to know more.

The thing is, I’m scared to outright say that as it could be unprofessional and make things awkward, but he always messages me which he doesn’t do with the rest of the people who worked the project.

Any tips?
Maybe while talking casually drop in if he would ever consider getting a coffee to know more about him?
Or whatever suits you best, however I feel like it is sort of inevitable that he may mention that it is unprofessional, but take this as a green flag! At least he would be serious about his job!

But I think you should be brave and go for it (YOLO) as he seems to only be talking to you out of the group. Keep in mind other factors too, e.g. sexuality etc. Stay safe and good luck! :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
So I work for a big company, both of us work at the same grade so there’s no problem of abuse of power etc

We work in different offices and were working on a project together back in April, we would be on Teams call together and got on really well.

Since then, we have been texting on MS Teams but its been very casual and I haven’t even seen his face, but I like his personality and want to know more.

The thing is, I’m scared to outright say that as it could be unprofessional and make things awkward, but he always messages me which he doesn’t do with the rest of the people who worked the project.

Any tips?

I write from the perspective of been there, and seen the best and the worst outcomes (affairs, ex-partners at the same company, etc.). And in the long run, I would always looks, that you neither hurt others or yourself. It is better for you (while people tend to be professional, it is nicer, if they appreciate you as a person, because like this, you will get the support of those, who do not like bakstabbing, egoistic, etc.) and all other voluntarily and involuntarily involved.

a) You have no power divide and work in different offices and not always together. -> Great situation to begin with.
b) Make sure, the other is not in a relationship, if he is, even though, he might say it is troublesome. Back of, stay away, for your own good. You want to be with someone, who treats you well and not someone, using you as an escape. And you do not wanna help breaking other people up. That will always come back to you later and/or in terms of possible friendships.
c) Otherwise, just begin with a coffee break, e.g. because you like to text, but do not want to do it at work, so you suggest a little break together or lunch in the canteen. Thus, you can first figure out, what you really think of the other one, without burning any bridges or getting awkward. It is not forbidden to talk to colleagues, and that is what you are at this stage. And then just take it from there, and see, how it develops. I would always take it slow, because you do not want end up feeling bad at your workplace.
Oh I completely forgot to mention that we live in different cities!! (Up north vs the midlands) so there is like a 3 hr drive between us, which definitely complicates things as he already mentioned that he wouldn’t move away from his city..nor would I :/
Original post by Nathanielle_
I write from the perspective of been there, and seen the best and the worst outcomes (affairs, ex-partners at the same company, etc.). And in the long run, I would always looks, that you neither hurt others or yourself. It is better for you (while people tend to be professional, it is nicer, if they appreciate you as a person, because like this, you will get the support of those, who do not like bakstabbing, egoistic, etc.) and all other voluntarily and involuntarily involved.

a) You have no power divide and work in different offices and not always together. -> Great situation to begin with.
b) Make sure, the other is not in a relationship, if he is, even though, he might say it is troublesome. Back of, stay away, for your own good. You want to be with someone, who treats you well and not someone, using you as an escape. And you do not wanna help breaking other people up. That will always come back to you later and/or in terms of possible friendships.
c) Otherwise, just begin with a coffee break, e.g. because you like to text, but do not want to do it at work, so you suggest a little break together or lunch in the canteen. Thus, you can first figure out, what you really think of the other one, without burning any bridges or getting awkward. It is not forbidden to talk to colleagues, and that is what you are at this stage. And then just take it from there, and see, how it develops. I would always take it slow, because you do not want end up feeling bad at your workplace.


Thanks for the advice!!

Regarding the last point, we work in different cities which makes things a lot harder :frown: he has joked about me coming down to see his office, but to be honest I dont think either of us are willing to move long term!
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe while talking casually drop in if he would ever consider getting a coffee to know more about him?
Or whatever suits you best, however I feel like it is sort of inevitable that he may mention that it is unprofessional, but take this as a green flag! At least he would be serious about his job!

But I think you should be brave and go for it (YOLO) as he seems to only be talking to you out of the group. Keep in mind other factors too, e.g. sexuality etc. Stay safe and good luck! :smile:


Thank you!
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice!!

Regarding the last point, we work in different cities which makes things a lot harder :frown: he has joked about me coming down to see his office, but to be honest I dont think either of us are willing to move long term!


If it has no future, it is probably better to let it be and rather try to build up a friendship and just see each other as colleagues.
Original post by Nathanielle_
If it has no future, it is probably better to let it be and rather try to build up a friendship and just see each other as colleagues.


That is true, I guess I’ll just wait it out and see how it goes :smile:
Reply 8
Wait till the Xmas party then pounce
Original post by Zarek
Wait till the Xmas party then pounce


We work in different offices and cities haha
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
We work in different offices and cities haha


You need to arrange some inter office socialising

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