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Advice on a girl I am dating

Hey all so this is the situation. I've been dating this girl for around a month and she is really lovely, we get along extremely well, she's like the girl version of myself.

The only thing is I just don't have that spark with her, I don't know if it's because of my past toxic relationships, but it's like I don't have that "can't wait for her message" feeling.

Is this a red flag or will this build over time? She has been on holiday for 3 weeks so haven't seen her, maybe that's why? But I mean I can go a few days without talking to her and It doesn't make a difference to me.

It's not that I don't like her, I genuinely do, she's a great girl. Is this 'spark' just a fake thing that I need to grow up and move on from?
It's normal, every relationship is different.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey all so this is the situation. I've been dating this girl for around a month and she is really lovely, we get along extremely well, she's like the girl version of myself.

The only thing is I just don't have that spark with her, I don't know if it's because of my past toxic relationships, but it's like I don't have that "can't wait for her message" feeling.

Is this a red flag or will this build over time? She has been on holiday for 3 weeks so haven't seen her, maybe that's why? But I mean I can go a few days without talking to her and It doesn't make a difference to me.

It's not that I don't like her, I genuinely do, she's a great girl. Is this 'spark' just a fake thing that I need to grow up and move on from?


Wait for a week or two until she comes back from holiday. If after that, you still feel concerns, maybe try talking to her calmly. Explain to her that whilst you do have feelings for her, you are hesitant about the relationship.

Hope this helps,

- Taylor :hugs:
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Hey all so this is the situation. I've been dating this girl for around a month and she is really lovely, we get along extremely well, she's like the girl version of myself.

The only thing is I just don't have that spark with her, I don't know if it's because of my past toxic relationships, but it's like I don't have that "can't wait for her message" feeling.

Is this a red flag or will this build over time? She has been on holiday for 3 weeks so haven't seen her, maybe that's why? But I mean I can go a few days without talking to her and It doesn't make a difference to me.

It's not that I don't like her, I genuinely do, she's a great girl. Is this 'spark' just a fake thing that I need to grow up and move on from?


If you've only been on a few dates it can take time for a spark to develop, especially if it's 2 or 3 weeks between dates and you're only just getting to know her.
I recently dated a guy for about a month and there wasn't a spark yet, but I really liked him and could tell it was maybe because I didn't know him well enough and it had been too long between each date for any real spark/romantic connection to develop. He ended things as he didn't feel our dates were developing into a romantic relationship but I think things could have been different if we had seen each other a few more times to see if a spark developed. If you really like her personality, meet up with her a few more times not too long apart and see if you develop feelings for her.
Any updates? :biggrin:

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