Urgent help with econs p2 essays

I've written an econs essay from 9708/21/M/J/22 for q2a n 2b and I asked my teacher to help me mark my essay. She told me it was really bad and my essay had no linkage to the q. Pls tell me how I can improve on my essay

When a planned economy introduces the price mechanism to allocate some resources, a mixed economy arises. Explain, using examples, why merit goods are classified as private goods rather than public goods. (8m)
2a) Mixed economy is a combination of planned and free market economy, with some resources being owned by private individuals and firms, while others are owned and controlled by the government. Planned economy relies on the government in allocating resources. When a planned economy introduces a price mechanism it means that the resources are allocated through market forces instead of the government. Hence, this means that the planned economy is transitioning into a mixed economy system.

Public goods, such as street lights are non rivalrous and non excludable in consumption whereas private goods are economic goods that are consumed by an individual for their own benefit. Rivalry in consumption means that when the product is consumed by one person it cannot be consumed by others. Therefore, it means that there’s competition to purchase or use the product. On the other hand, excludability is when the producers can exclude consumers from enjoying the products based on their ability and willingness to pay. This will help eliminate the free rider problem which exists only for public goods due to their non excludable nature.

Merit goods are goods that provide positive externalities when consumed, such as education and healthcare. As merit goods don’t face the free rider problem and can be excluded and there’s rivalry. Hence, they’re classified under private goods not public goods.

Note: I am not a teacher, but I have written enough economics essays to possibly help.
Also note: it's going to be significantly easier if you specify the name of the paper than giving us the code. This is an example of the marks scheme that I have found: https://bestexamhelp.com/exam/cambridge-international-a-level/economics-9708/2022/9708-s22-ms-21.php (scroll down to page 12)

I can kind of see where she is going with this, although I really hate vague feedback like this because it doesn't help you in the least.

Mark Scheme
The mark scheme specifies the following:
Knowledge and Understanding:
For knowledge and understanding of private goods. (1 mark)
For knowledge and understanding of public goods. (1 mark)
2 marks maximum

Application:
The use of appropriate examples to aid the explanation of why merit goods are classified as private goods. (Up to 3 marks)
The use of appropriate examples to aid the explanation of why merit goods are not classified as public goods (Up to 3 marks)
6 marks maximum

Review
You have only specified what is a public good is and possible examples of what merit goods are, so possibly a max of 3 marks out of 8 if I am being generous (then again I am not a teacher and I don't mark essays , so take my grading with a pinch of salt). 1 mark possibly for what is a public good, and possibly 2 for the examples (doesn't go into enough explanation though).

Comments
From what I can tell, instead of leading what a public economy is, I would lead with what are merit goods i.e. your last paragraph should be your first, but more fleshed out. Then I would work into discussing the differences of why it's not a public good and why it's a private good along with definitions of public and private goods (compare and contrast) along with the examples.
Do note, whilst the question mentions planned and mixed economies, that's not what it's asking (Explain, using examples, why merit goods are classified as private goods rather than public goods).
I would also reflect whether it was worth writing a relatively long paragraph explaining what a public good is for 1 mark, then I would wonder why you did not mention anything about private goods which could have easily scored you another mark.

Reflection
I think this is one of the cases of a student misreading the question or not reading the question carefully enough, which I appreciate being difficult when under pressure. I also appreciate that sometimes these questions can be very badly written, but you don't get a say in the matter.

What I would recommend you doing is redo the question with the above feedback, and ask your teacher to possibly look through your revised answer and see how well you have done. This would give you an indication of whether you have done enough for the 8 marks.

Hi, thank u sm for the feedback. This is actually my 2nd draft for this q because when I initially saw this q I didn't write anything abt mixed economy n planned economy system as that isn't what the q is asking for. But then after I submitted my 1st draft to my teacher she said 'No connection at all. All knowledge only' which I thought was super weird because the 1st sentence is only an introductory sentence and it isn't related to the q. She told me that I had to link back to planned economy, price mechanism and mixed economy in my intro. But honestly I rly doubted whether it should actually be included cause when I checked the ms it didn't require me to explain abt planned economy, price mechanism and mixed economy.