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Help. No friends, lonely, hurt,

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last June. Throughout the relationship I became isolated from my friends and hobbies. With him I had a sexual relationship, and now I feel dusguisted by myself and my own mouth. I feel like I've lost who I am. My only friend I told about this doesn't care at all, and we aren't friends anymore. She thinks because she has never been used for sex or don't anything of that sort she is better than me, and started judging me and being rude to me. I cry nearly every night and day, and I just don't know what to do anymore. Why do I feel so disguisting and lonely? I'm 16, and going to a new sixth form next summer. That might be my only chance to make any friends. Should I tell them about past relationships if they ask or will it make me seen gros and disguisting? I just am so tired, I hate myself now too. Please help
Hi,

Sorry this has happened to you, and you're feeling like this.

First things first, I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to give yourself a hard time over this, we all make mistakes... the important thing is to learn from them. Not sure if you used protection, but if you didn't, I would suggest you get yourself tested. If that comes back with the all clear, then just draw a line underneath this and put it down to experience. Obviously take lessons from this, and be more selective about who, where and when you get intimate with.

If & when you get a new partner, it's always a good idea to still spend some time with your mates, as they'll be the ones who are likely to be there for you when it ends or things go wrong. What's the woman equivalent of "Bro's before Ho's?" Is it "Chicks before d***s?" lol Maybe, maybe not... but you get the idea.

Personally, I didn't got to a six-form, but I went into college after school. The one thing I liked about that was that it allowed me to make a fresh start, and leave every thing that happened in high-school in the past where it belongs.

A sexual relationship is something very personal, and it's up to you who you choose to tell about it. Unless it's someone you're about to do the dirty deed with, your sexual history is, frankly, none of their business. If asked, you can just say you were seeing someone between "X" and "Y" dates; chances are they won't ask more than that.

In the mean time, you may want to try re-connecting with your other friends. Was the "friend" you told part of that group? If so, is she influential & is she likely to gossip about you? Even if she does, I'm sure there will be at least one person in the group who won't be judgemental or sanctimonious with you?

Worst case scenario, new term starts in the beginning of September, so you're clearly over the worst of it... only a couple more weeks and you've got the chance to make a fresh start.

Brand new environment, brand new you :smile:
(edited 11 months ago)
If you don't feel like talking about the past to new friends, you don't need to. Sometimes certain things shouldn't be brought up just because there is hurt involved or maybe you just don't feel like mentioning it, it's completely fine.
Original post by Anonymous
My ex boyfriend broke up with me last June. Throughout the relationship I became isolated from my friends and hobbies. With him I had a sexual relationship, and now I feel dusguisted by myself and my own mouth. I feel like I've lost who I am. My only friend I told about this doesn't care at all, and we aren't friends anymore. She thinks because she has never been used for sex or don't anything of that sort she is better than me, and started judging me and being rude to me. I cry nearly every night and day, and I just don't know what to do anymore. Why do I feel so disguisting and lonely? I'm 16, and going to a new sixth form next summer. That might be my only chance to make any friends. Should I tell them about past relationships if they ask or will it make me seen gros and disguisting? I just am so tired, I hate myself now too. Please help

You have a beautiful soul, remember that. That cannot change
Reply 4
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Hi,

Sorry this has happened to you, and you're feeling like this.

First things first, I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to give yourself a hard time over this, we all make mistakes... the important thing is to learn from them. Not sure if you used protection, but if you didn't, I would suggest you get yourself tested. If that comes back with the all clear, then just draw a line underneath this and put it down to experience. Obviously take lessons from this, and be more selective about who, where and when you get intimate with.

If & when you get a new partner, it's always a good idea to still spend some time with your mates, as they'll be the ones who are likely to be there for you when it ends or things go wrong. What's the woman equivalent of "Bro's before Ho's?" Is it "Chicks before d***s?" lol Maybe, maybe not... but you get the idea.

Personally, I didn't got to a six-form, but I went into college after school. The one thing I liked about that was that it allowed me to make a fresh start, and leave every thing that happened in high-school in the past where it belongs.

A sexual relationship is something very personal, and it's up to you who you choose to tell about it. Unless it's someone you're about to do the dirty deed with, your sexual history is, frankly, none of their business. If asked, you can just say you were seeing someone between "X" and "Y" dates; chances are they won't ask more than that.

In the mean time, you may want to try re-connecting with your other friends. Was the "friend" you told part of that group? If so, is she influential & is she likely to gossip about you? Even if she does, I'm sure there will be at least one person in the group who won't be judgemental or sanctimonious with you?

Worst case scenario, new term starts in the beginning of September, so you're clearly over the worst of it... only a couple more weeks and you've got the chance to make a fresh start.

Brand new environment, brand new you :smile:

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the reply and you are amazing and kind and please know that this advice is so comforting to me. It means so much to me. Thank you.
Reply 5
Original post by oceanzhu0912
If you don't feel like talking about the past to new friends, you don't need to. Sometimes certain things shouldn't be brought up just because there is hurt involved or maybe you just don't feel like mentioning it, it's completely fine.

Thank you. I guess it is hard for me to find a balance between being too honest and pushing people away, or being too closed off to have a deep and meaningful friendship. I hope I can meet understanding friends. Thank you for the advice.
Reply 6
Original post by BankaiGintoki
You have a beautiful soul, remember that. That cannot change

I read this while crying about the situation just now and it put a smile on my face. I find it too easy to forget that so many people have a beautiful soul and are here both online and in person to reassure and comfort other. Thank you for making my day a little less painful.

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