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How do I ask her to lose a little bit of weight?

We've been together for about 4 years. We've had a rocky patch in the middle but things are good I'm very happy to say.

It started of by her being obsessed over me and I wasn't interested in her. She was pretty back then (and still is) and her body was as I would want it. But I was busy talking to other girls and going out several of them but eventually I found my way to the girl I'm seeing now and I guess I'm happy with almost everything.

I've only ever gone out with very slim very fit girls since I was at school. I'm not shredded at the moment but I generally keep in good shape.

The girl I'm seeing now, she's not fat at all or anything like that - infact most would say she's in perfect shape or almost perfect, but compared to the girls I normally go out with she is just a little bit more weighty, just slightly (one of my previous partners was a teen model just to put in perspective).

She gets jealous of other girls. She knows a lot of girls give me attention and it annoys her so much. I do want her to lose just a tiny bit of weight to get to how I like it. I'm just seeking advise as to how I would go about asking her? Should I tell her about my previous partners saying how slim they were but I still like her so she understands that's what I like but I still like her so her feelings don't get hurt too much.

I know it's a sensitive topic for girls. I like everything else about her, she is so beautiful to me and I don't have any interest with the other girls who message me (apart from maybe just I enjoy the attention). I won't leave her but if she lost just a little bit then she would be perfect.

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Reply 1
You don't.
Ah yes, bringing up the weight of your previous partners will definitely bring things to a head and allow your GF to move on. Highly recommended.
Reply 3
Original post by black tea
You don't.


I have to, I'm sure she will do it once she knows how I feel. We are very committed to each other (I wasn't at first but I definitely am now).
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I have to, I'm sure she will do it once she knows how I feel. We are very committed to each other (I wasn't at first but I definitely am now).

No, you don't, and she is under no obligation to change her body to please you... Accept her how she is and get over yourself.
Original post by Anonymous
I have to, I'm sure she will do it once she knows how I feel. We are very committed to each other (I wasn't at first but I definitely am now).

You have absolutely no right to dictate your partner's weight, and it is not okay to ask. You should also consider that you might have a profound impact on her self-esteem if you do bring it up.
Tell her you want her to go from a drum wing to a flat wing.
she shouldn’t have to lose weight to please you. you’re disgusting.
(edited 7 months ago)
She should break up with you... show her this post - you're repulsive.
Reply 9
Original post by Bazookaboobs
She should break up with you... show her this post - you're repulsive.


Why am I getting so much abuse here? I don't understand.

We are very much committed to each other, I spoke to her on the phone for one and a half hours day before yesterday, yesterday we messaged on whatsapp for 2 hours. I'm about to call her in a bit and have a catchup. How does this make me a bad person?

Apart from the early part of our relationship, she fully trusts me and I don't want to be with anyone else.

Physical attraction is important in a relationship. I like everything about her, especially her smile and her laugh but the small bit of weight she put on is the only thing I have an issue with. If that problem was sorted then I can't imagine I would want to be with anyone else. We are both very much committed to each other.

Would appreciate from a girl's perspective on how to best make her understand without making her too upset. I'm also considering just telling her straight along the lines of 'I like you, everything about you but you've gained a tiny bit of weight and I want you to just get rid of that for me'? I dunno, but I have to say something. She's amazing in every other way.
Original post by Anonymous
We've been together for about 4 years. We've had a rocky patch in the middle but things are good I'm very happy to say.

It started of by her being obsessed over me and I wasn't interested in her. She was pretty back then (and still is) and her body was as I would want it. But I was busy talking to other girls and going out several of them but eventually I found my way to the girl I'm seeing now and I guess I'm happy with almost everything.

I've only ever gone out with very slim very fit girls since I was at school. I'm not shredded at the moment but I generally keep in good shape.

The girl I'm seeing now, she's not fat at all or anything like that - infact most would say she's in perfect shape or almost perfect, but compared to the girls I normally go out with she is just a little bit more weighty, just slightly (one of my previous partners was a teen model just to put in perspective).

She gets jealous of other girls. She knows a lot of girls give me attention and it annoys her so much. I do want her to lose just a tiny bit of weight to get to how I like it. I'm just seeking advise as to how I would go about asking her? Should I tell her about my previous partners saying how slim they were but I still like her so she understands that's what I like but I still like her so her feelings don't get hurt too much.

I know it's a sensitive topic for girls. I like everything else about her, she is so beautiful to me and I don't have any interest with the other girls who message me (apart from maybe just I enjoy the attention). I won't leave her but if she lost just a little bit then she would be perfect.


no way this **** is real
You can politely and calmly ask her whether she is willing to consider dieting or increasing her exercise levels to lose some weight.
But do be aware that she may be very happy with her current dietary habits & body appearance, preferring to lose a lot of unwanted extra weight by ditching you instead of dieting and doing more exercise to slim herself down.

It sounds like your sexual attraction to your gf is waning after 4 years together.
Based upon her physical appearance and visible body fat no longer being compatible with your attraction dealbreakers.
As a result the relationship is most likely approaching the end of its shelf-life.

Has your gf recently started taking medication or changed her usual exercise regime and started putting on weight?

Have you considered ending the relationship?
So that both you and she will be single people who are free to restrict your potential dating or hookup pools exclusively to those who are your preferred physical types & compatible with all weight connected dealbreakers you have.
Original post by Anonymous
Why am I getting so much abuse here? I don't understand.

We are very much committed to each other, I spoke to her on the phone for one and a half hours day before yesterday, yesterday we messaged on whatsapp for 2 hours. I'm about to call her in a bit and have a catchup. How does this make me a bad person?

Apart from the early part of our relationship, she fully trusts me and I don't want to be with anyone else.

Physical attraction is important in a relationship. I like everything about her, especially her smile and her laugh but the small bit of weight she put on is the only thing I have an issue with. If that problem was sorted then I can't imagine I would want to be with anyone else. We are both very much committed to each other.

Would appreciate from a girl's perspective on how to best make her understand without making her too upset. I'm also considering just telling her straight along the lines of 'I like you, everything about you but you've gained a tiny bit of weight and I want you to just get rid of that for me'? I dunno, but I have to say something. She's amazing in every other way.

'I like you, everything about you but you've gained a tiny bit of weight and I want you to just get rid of that for me'?
for you?! it’s her body not yours
Original post by Anonymous

Would appreciate from a girl's perspective on how to best make her understand without making her too upset.


From a girl's perspective, you have no right to ask her to change your body for you. You either accept her for who she is (accepting that her body will change, just like yours will) or you leave her.
Original post by Anonymous
Why am I getting so much abuse here? I don't understand.

We are very much committed to each other, I spoke to her on the phone for one and a half hours day before yesterday, yesterday we messaged on whatsapp for 2 hours. I'm about to call her in a bit and have a catchup. How does this make me a bad person?

Apart from the early part of our relationship, she fully trusts me and I don't want to be with anyone else.

Physical attraction is important in a relationship. I like everything about her, especially her smile and her laugh but the small bit of weight she put on is the only thing I have an issue with. If that problem was sorted then I can't imagine I would want to be with anyone else. We are both very much committed to each other.

Would appreciate from a girl's perspective on how to best make her understand without making her too upset. I'm also considering just telling her straight along the lines of 'I like you, everything about you but you've gained a tiny bit of weight and I want you to just get rid of that for me'? I dunno, but I have to say something. She's amazing in every other way.

If you truly liked her then this slight 'issue' about her physical appearance wouldn't even matter to you. It would seem you have some thinking to do about this relationship.
(edited 7 months ago)
Reply 15
Original post by m0on4ge_d4ydreAm
no way this **** is real


I am genuinely shocked by the reaction here. Like there are people who cheat on a daily basis and it gets overlooked, but here I am committed to a person - this is a good thing if anything.
Reply 16
Original post by CatusStarbright
If you truly liked her then this slight 'issue' about her physical appearance wouldn't even matter to you. It would seem you have some thinking to do about this relationship.


Yes I've thought about it which is why I decided to post here before telling her. I don't want anyone else. Other girls do message me telling me they are interested but I haven't said anything about a relationship to them because I am happy with my choice.

I do truly like her but this slight issue is an issue for me.
Reply 17
I've told a girl I was with before that I didn't like a certain top she was wearing because of the colour and she stopped wearing it. What's the deal here? Are people not allowed to have opinions of their partners now?
Reply 18
And she is committed to me as I am to her. She regularly says she loves me.

So wouldn't she want to do this for someone she loves?
Original post by Anonymous
And she is committed to me as I am to her. She regularly says she loves me.

So wouldn't she want to do this for someone she loves?

If she said you are too skinny, would you gain some extra weight for her?

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