The Student Room Group

I always feel guilty for having better equipments than my classmates.

Whenever I look at my laptop or my room and compare them to my peers' I feel ashamed. I know for a fact that not all the friends I know have as good financial background as my family’s, but most of them studied more and participated in more extracurricular activities than I did. Now they are more independent, intelligent and have more skills than I do. It's just the simple feeling that I don't deserve to have such good condition and I don't want to deny it. What are your thoughts on my situation? Have you felt the same way or know someone that had a similar situation? I'm curious about your replies.
Reply 1
I'd like to preface by saying that in no way do I intend to judge or patronise you and I apologise if any of my words come across this way, but do know that these are just my general thoughts and everything I say is purely constructive. I think feeling the way you do is reasonable and I can understand your thought process, but it's just a given fact that no one can choose what kind of family or financial state they're born into. Thus, there's really no point in feeling guilty about what you're able to afford, or the resources your family is able give you. As you mentioned, you have been privileged enough to be provided with quality facilities and It's good that you're aware of your privilege. However, I don't think feeling ashamed or having reluctance about it means anything if you're not actually going to do anything about it. You feel like you don't deserve what you have because others have worked harder. This just means that you need to work harder as well. Everyone on campus comes from different backgrounds with a variety of access ranges to supporting resources, but I believe the one responsibility that we all have is to make sure we use our resources well regardless of what we have. If you are lucky enough to be able to use good, state-of-the-art equipment for uni, don't feel guilty. Work hard and improve yourself to the point where that purchase is justified. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to be grateful for what we have and maximise the potential of what is available to us :smile:
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 2
Original post by chiliwoods
I'd like to preface by saying that in no way do I intend to judge or patronise you and I apologise if any of my words come across this way, but do know that these are just my general thoughts and everything I say is purely constructive. I think feeling the way you do is reasonable and I can understand your thought process, but it's just a given fact that no one can choose what kind of family or financial state they're born into. Thus, there's really no point in feeling guilty about what you're able to afford, or the resources your family is able give you. As you mentioned, you have been privileged enough to be provided with quality facilities and It's good that you're aware of your privilege. However, I don't think feeling ashamed or having reluctance about it means anything if you're not actually going to do anything about it. You feel like you don't deserve what you have because others have worked harder. This just means that you need to work harder as well. Everyone on campus comes from different backgrounds with a variety of access ranges to supporting resources, but I believe the one responsibility that we all have is to make sure we use our resources well regardless of what we have. If you are lucky enough to be able to use good, state-of-the-art equipment for uni, don't feel guilty. Work hard and improve yourself to the point where that purchase is justified. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to be grateful for what we have and maximise the potential of what is available to us :smile:

Thanks mate. Your advice really helped me clear my mind. I'll sure continue working hard and try my best to become a better version of myself, both for my parents and me. Again, your words really touched me, thanks! Wish you the best of everything! :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks mate. Your advice really helped me clear my mind. I'll sure continue working hard and try my best to become a better version of myself, both for my parents and me. Again, your words really touched me, thanks! Wish you the best of everything! :smile:


No problem, I'm glad I could help! All for the best for you too!
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Whenever I look at my laptop or my room and compare them to my peers' I feel ashamed. I know for a fact that not all the friends I know have as good financial background as my family’s, but most of them studied more and participated in more extracurricular activities than I did. Now they are more independent, intelligent and have more skills than I do. It's just the simple feeling that I don't deserve to have such good condition and I don't want to deny it. What are your thoughts on my situation? Have you felt the same way or know someone that had a similar situation? I'm curious about your replies.


I bet it is completely normal to infrequently experience an inadequate feeling, particularly when comparing yourself to others. However, keep in mind that everyone's journey is different and unique. I would suggest that you focus on your own growth and progress rather than external comparisons.
Have you considered setting achievable goals, both academically and personally, and working towards them at your own pace? Setting achievable goals avails clarity and motivation, and gives a sense of direction. I believe this strategy boosts confidence, as progress is tangible. Having clear goals reduces overwhelm, fostering focused efforts. Personally, this strategy enhances self-discipline and satisfaction. It also brings a sense of accomplishment, nurturing a balanced and fulfilling life.
Seek inspiration from your peers, but remember that you have your own strengths and talents to offer. Embrace your privileges, and use them to make a positive impact on your life and those around you. Many people have experienced similar feelings, but it's important to build self-confidence and appreciate your own accomplishments.
Might you need help in regards, feel free to reach out to me.
Warm regards
(edited 10 months ago)

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