The Student Room Group

Why doesn't my mother respect my personal space?

Hi there,

Im 27 and living with my mother.

My plan is to save up as much money as I can for a deposit on my own house. The rental market is a catastrophe. But I am trying my best to be patient and logical about things.

Since coming back from my holiday, I came down with a chest infection and laryngitis. I have not spoken in almost a week and its gotten me down.

My mother is aware that I am unable to speak and so I play a video in the background in the bathroom.

Instead my mother is calling out my name and then barges into the bathroom where I am sat there naked and instead of her apologising and leaving, she just stares at me saying

"Why are you ignoring me when I am calling you?"

I had to strain my voice to respond and told her to get lost and get out. It was so demoralising, she would not leave she was just watching me.

Then she flips it on me saying "You are telling me to get lost? You are swearing at me?"

Im at my wits end with her. I don't understand. Is this normal behaviour for parents to do?

Im really angry, I just need some assurance and advice.

Thanks for reading.
Glib, but possibly because it's really her personal space.. that you are showing no signs of ever leaving.

Like I can see the appeal in staying with parents for ages/forever and avoiding spending your own money or learning independence, but an issue is that you'll likely still be treated a bit like an incapable child.

Also bathrooms tend to have useful locks to avoid these moments, you know fine well you don't live alone and people walking in is possible.
Original post by StriderHort
Glib, but possibly because it's really her personal space.. that you are showing no signs of ever leaving.

Like I can see the appeal in staying with parents for ages/forever and avoiding spending your own money or learning independence, but an issue is that you'll likely still be treated a bit like an incapable child.

Also bathrooms tend to have useful locks to avoid these moments, you know fine well you don't live alone and people walking in is possible.


This response was rather patronising.
Original post by Anonymous
This response was rather patronising.


But was I wrong? This embarrassment is exactly why people lock bathroom doors, and you are an adult choosing not to leave the nest which can frustrate parents. This is the reality, if you haven't moved beyond a kid living at home other adults might not stop treating you like one.
Original post by StriderHort
But was I wrong? This embarrassment is exactly why people lock bathroom doors, and you are an adult choosing not to leave the nest which can frustrate parents. This is the reality, if you haven't moved beyond a kid living at home other adults might not stop treating you like one.
This is such a gross response and shows the level of intelligence and value you come from. you don’t know this person’s situation and have no right to come at them from such an angle. Get a life and get off this site if you’re not going to actually help people.
Original post by moonlight5081
This is such a gross response and shows the level of intelligence and value you come from. you don’t know this person’s situation and have no right to come at them from such an angle. Get a life and get off this site if you’re not going to actually help people.

They asked for an opinion - despite your apparent outrage you don't actually spell out what your issue is with it.

Is it the part where I raise the possibility that some of this obvious tension is caused by crowding or where I say that if you live in a shared home and use the bathroom with the door unlocked you are pretty much guaranteeing these awkward moments happen, not just for you but for everyone.

I never claimed to know their situation, I offered possibilities.

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