Am I unattractive? What is it?
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Reply 20
Original post by jay2013
Who the hell are you to tell someone else to stay quiet?
Its called 'Student' room for a reason.
You cant tell me brudda is finishing off year 11 of high school
Reply 21
17
Original post by Anonymous
Its called 'Student' room for a reason.
You cant tell me brudda is finishing off year 11 of high school
You cant tell me brudda is finishing off year 11 of high school
Hmmm... you don't think there are mature students doing their Masters or PhDs?
I didn't realise there was an age limit on being a student 😂
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 22
20
Original post by jay2013
Hmmm... you don't think there are mature students doing their Masters or PhDs?
I didn't realise there was an age limit on being a student 😂
I didn't realise there was an age limit on being a student 😂
Yep.
Some of us are even staff!
Reply 23
Original post by jay2013
Hmmm... you don't think there are mature students doing their Masters or PhDs?
I didn't realise there was an age limit on being a student 😂
I didn't realise there was an age limit on being a student 😂
Ah yeah thats valid tbf,
Reply 24
13
I think you'll find there's plenty of people over the age of 30 on "tsr"
Reply 25
Original post by Anonymous #1
Right so im gonna give it to you guys straight.
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
It sounds like you are putting their feet to sleep. If you're online correspondence to them is dull and dull for a long while (a few days to a week or more) then their initial enthusiasm over you is going to dampen.
Try to avoid talking about stuff that is too serious too often or too much. Girls vary so the more geeky girl may not mind serious talk as much but even geeky girls will likely tire and want to hear something a little more racy to add a bit of spice to it all. By the same token don't get too racy too quickly that they think you are a sleaze just after sex.
I wouldn't say my online messaging with my girl is perfect. There are times when I talk about something for too long or another subject would be better. Sometimes there are things that just have to be talked about that need to be talked about but aren't necessarily what each other want to be talking about. For example, at the moment we are talking about accommodation issues (serious but necessary topic) when perhaps we would prefer to be talking about what we like about each other or what we would like to do with each other.
Beyond that I would suggest what about sending the girl a surprise present. It could be anything, you can get cheap items of jewellery, sexy lingerie, dresses, etc online these days off Amazon, eBay or another online retailer that does stuff cheap these days. Back in the day before those online site got going and before we did much trade with China stuff used to cost a lot so the guy would either have to dig deep or earn a lot. These days stuff can be bought cheap on the internet and be reasonably decent looking quality. So there's little excuse for not adding an element of excitement with the odd surprise gift most girls love it
So even if you aren't the best communicator or drop the ball, goof up, etc then an inexpensive surprise gift every one in a while (but not so often it becomes predictable or regular) can really help you out.
Reply 26
Girls are attracted to only 20% of guys. You're not one of them
Reply 27
Original post by Kawasa
Girls are attracted to only 20% of guys. You're not one of them
Oh crikey, that old chestnut. This was debunked a long time ago, I remember making multiple posts over multiple weeks and months explaining why it is impossible for the 80/20 rule to be true, but still it continues.
Reply 28
Original post by Doomotron
Oh crikey, that old chestnut. This was debunked a long time ago, I remember making multiple posts over multiple weeks and months explaining why it is impossible for the 80/20 rule to be true, but still it continues.
Not seen those posts, would love to hear about it. Apart from those girls after guys I think many women are just not into dating these days, they have had the uni to careers thing dumped in front off them and many have taken the bait. Some women I find can get obsessive over careers, once they have taken up the mantel on that one many don't let go. A bit like an obsessive gambler with a gambling addiction.
So I think careers can take many a woman's focus way off guys. Worse they may even see them as competition especially if in the same field. So as we know the whole study & careers thing can take up a hell of a lot of their time. So their interest level in guys is not high to start with. Some of them may be part of the women that know they aren't all that and know they can't get what they want in a guy so don't trouble the dating world.
Anyway, as to OP here in addition to what I put above about him possibly putting their feet to sleep I would add this. That a lot of women like the focus to be on themselves, particularly this may be true for career women. As a guy these days a lot of the time your job is to delve into what's going on in their world by prompting them with questions. Not all will open up quickly but once a girl has well they like to bang on about themselves and that should please them.
I have a girl at the moment a bit like this. I don't mind and occasionally she asks about me and I give her details but unless that relates a lot to her I don't think she is interested so much and it's more of a pleasantry. That doesn't really bother me as I don't expect any relationship to be a perfect example and I don't care for that either. I know what I'm doing anyways so it doesn't bother me so much and if it makes her content then that's better in my view than a girl who is finding out communication boring. On that front I would also say to OP to be a bit attentive, if she isn't giving decent replies and doesn't seem invested in the conversation then bring it up, not in an upset argumentative sort of way but in a subtle way just to give her an opportunity to talk on what she wants to or give the conversation a rest for the night. Better to have a better conversation the next day then keep banging on when she is disinterested and/or tired.
Reply 29
Original post by Doomotron
Oh crikey, that old chestnut. This was debunked a long time ago, I remember making multiple posts over multiple weeks and months explaining why it is impossible for the 80/20 rule to be true, but still it continues.
Your posts were wrong. The 80/20 is true and that's why it's quite famous, most people agree with it
Reply 30
Original post by Kawasa
Your posts were wrong. The 80/20 is true and that's why it's quite famous, most people agree with it
'Most people' = a small group of men who religiously follow the invalid, unproven evidence of a study that isn't peer reviewed and has no place in modern psychology that blames all of their woes on a fictional psychological network between women that aims to ruin the lives of men who aren't the best looking on the planet.
Reply 31
12
Original post by jay2013
Who the hell are you to tell someone else to stay quiet?
Yeah, come on, you have heard of mature students right? Chill out man
Reply 32
Original post by Anonymous #3
Not seen those posts, would love to hear about it. Apart from those girls after guys I think many women are just not into dating these days, they have had the uni to careers thing dumped in front off them and many have taken the bait. Some women I find can get obsessive over careers, once they have taken up the mantel on that one many don't let go. A bit like an obsessive gambler with a gambling addiction.
So I think careers can take many a woman's focus way off guys. Worse they may even see them as competition especially if in the same field. So as we know the whole study & careers thing can take up a hell of a lot of their time. So their interest level in guys is not high to start with. Some of them may be part of the women that know they aren't all that and know they can't get what they want in a guy so don't trouble the dating world.
Anyway, as to OP here in addition to what I put above about him possibly putting their feet to sleep I would add this. That a lot of women like the focus to be on themselves, particularly this may be true for career women. As a guy these days a lot of the time your job is to delve into what's going on in their world by prompting them with questions. Not all will open up quickly but once a girl has well they like to bang on about themselves and that should please them.
I have a girl at the moment a bit like this. I don't mind and occasionally she asks about me and I give her details but unless that relates a lot to her I don't think she is interested so much and it's more of a pleasantry. That doesn't really bother me as I don't expect any relationship to be a perfect example and I don't care for that either. I know what I'm doing anyways so it doesn't bother me so much and if it makes her content then that's better in my view than a girl who is finding out communication boring. On that front I would also say to OP to be a bit attentive, if she isn't giving decent replies and doesn't seem invested in the conversation then bring it up, not in an upset argumentative sort of way but in a subtle way just to give her an opportunity to talk on what she wants to or give the conversation a rest for the night. Better to have a better conversation the next day then keep banging on when she is disinterested and/or tired.
The posts were a few years ago in my posting history, if you're interested I'll go hunting for them and post a link. In short however, it is impossible for the rule to be true based on the following factors:
1. Generally, but certainly not always, people end up dating people roughly as attractive as them. If the 80/20 rule were true, this would be impossible as the regular-looking women would automatically reject anyone on their own level of attractiveness.
2. If it was true, it would also mean (and I belive this is part of the theory as well but I cannot confirm this) that the best looking men would be inundated with attention from women of all types all of the time, which is not true. There are plenty of attractive men and women who struggle to find partners for multiple reasons, whether it be their own personalities or other external factors.
3. If the theory was true, at best only 20% of men would ever find someone. With this, the birth rate across the world would be so low that society would cease to function, and the death rate would be significantly higher in almost all countries around the world. Even now, in what incels describe as a terrible Western feminist world, the death rate is only slightly higher than the birth rate and only in a few countries... And if one has done even GCSE-level geography lessons you'll know that this isn't caused by women not wanting to sleep with average-looking men.
I believe I went further in depth in my original posts but I shall have to check another time.
Reply 33
Original post by Anonymous #1
Right so im gonna give it to you guys straight.
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Be confident in yourself, boys of your age will not tell you that you are good looking. Maybe look at the way you dress, get ideas from someone you look up to, people you like the way they dress its really simple. Girls like you to have a bit of a swag, but dont be too cocky or show off. Be yourself. smile more, pay compliments but dont be a creep. It takes time but just be genuine, happy and positive the girls will come running trust me.
Reply 34
Original post by Doomotron
'Most people' = a small group of men who religiously follow the invalid, unproven evidence of a study that isn't peer reviewed and has no place in modern psychology that blames all of their woes on a fictional psychological network between women that aims to ruin the lives of men who aren't the best looking on the planet.
Seriously...
Don't encourage him to post. Ignore him and he may go away.
The 80/20 rule only applies to our clothes, where we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time ... cause we've all got our favourite old jeans & T-shirts we love to wear... and that stupid uniform for work lol .
FACT! 😛
Reply 35
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Seriously...
Don't encourage him to post. Ignore him and he may go away.
The 80/20 rule only applies to our clothes, where we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time ... cause we've all got our favourite old jeans & T-shirts we love to wear... and that stupid uniform for work lol .
FACT! 😛
That 80/20 rule is true... I have many pairs of trousers but I only wear two pairs of jeans most of the time, disregarding the ones I need to wear for my course. I have about ten pairs of shoes and I wear two of them (that one really is 80/20), and I only play a fraction of the video games I own...
Reply 36
Original post by Doomotron
That 80/20 rule is true... I have many pairs of trousers but I only wear two pairs of jeans most of the time, disregarding the ones I need to wear for my course. I have about ten pairs of shoes and I wear two of them (that one really is 80/20), and I only play a fraction of the video games I own...
Guess 80/20 rule could also apply to vocabulary as well?
We tend to talk about the same stuff all the time... whether that's about work, EastEnders, shoes, football or that all the girls only love "Chad" ... so there will be loads of other words that we know but seldom use.
Reply 37
12
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Seriously...
Don't encourage him to post. Ignore him and he may go away.
The 80/20 rule only applies to our clothes, where we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time ... cause we've all got our favourite old jeans & T-shirts we love to wear... and that stupid uniform for work lol .
FACT! 😛
Don't encourage him to post. Ignore him and he may go away.
The 80/20 rule only applies to our clothes, where we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time ... cause we've all got our favourite old jeans & T-shirts we love to wear... and that stupid uniform for work lol .
FACT! 😛
Lol... just read the original post... yes this is the right strategy!
After all, meticlously debunking nonsense only convinces the 20% of readers who are already informed about the issue, and they didn't need convincing anyway; with the other 80% it only confers a false legitimacy on the target. Oh wait, the 80/20 rule is true!
FACT! 😉
Reply 38
12
Original post by Anonymous #1
Right so im gonna give it to you guys straight.
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
There's a paradox with this stuff isn't there: the more you're worrying about whether people find you attractive, the less attractive you'll be to people. Because being chilled, confident, yourself, focused on something other than whether you're attractive, is what people find attractive, whereas being anxious about whether you're attractive isn't. It's not much about looks or anything like that. Look at Robert de Niro or James Corden. They're not exactly models are they, but neither of them struggle in this dept, right? The reason is cos they've not been stewing over whether they're attractive, they've just gotten on with stuff (obviously we can't all be famous actors, but the general point still holds: the reason they're famous actors in the first place is the same - charisma, confidence, which flow from their focusing on what they do and how they are rather than on what they look like.)
Try a thought-experiment: what if you didn't have a romantic encounter until you're 21 yrs old? And from then on you have a wild time, the erotic life of an 18th century libertine on acid right up until your death in your mid-80s, mid-orgy. OMG! No biggy, right? Sounds okay?!
So - you can at least safely mentally park the whole question for the next four years. Forget all about it. And that will definitely help. Just focus on being you, on developing your interests and your emotional intelligence, on being a decent person to other people, and you'll be absolutely fine.
Best of luck,
Reply 39
Original post by DR_C
Lol... just read the original post... yes this is the right strategy!
After all, meticlously debunking nonsense only convinces the 20% of readers who are already informed about the issue, and they didn't need convincing anyway; with the other 80% it only confers a false legitimacy on the target. Oh wait, the 80/20 rule is true!
FACT! 😉
After all, meticlously debunking nonsense only convinces the 20% of readers who are already informed about the issue, and they didn't need convincing anyway; with the other 80% it only confers a false legitimacy on the target. Oh wait, the 80/20 rule is true!
FACT! 😉
Lol, 🤣
I respectfully dissagree.
I'd say debunking nonsense convinces 80% of the readers, but it's the 20% who have their heads up their own backsides who post 80% of the replies claiming their "facts" are correct.
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