The Student Room Group

Muslim Brothers and Sisters

Salaam brothers and sisters how hard is it to ask the dad of the girl you like for her hand to marriage is there anything to fear and worry about despite it being culturally disrespectful well apparently since it’s what I heard from my mother and how would you advise me to go about it.
Has the lady talked about this subject to her father?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Has the lady talked about this subject to her father?

Hi she’s talked about it to her mother well tried but her mother refused to hear on the matter of this subject, she wants to ideally finish her education first as she’s nearing towards the end of her degree although she said she’d tell her father when her 21st birthday would approach a couple of months away yet hasn’t and is afraid to do so especially knowing her father is strict and may be challenging for him to understand on this matter.
Original post by Anonymous
Salaam brothers and sisters how hard is it to ask the dad of the girl you like for her hand to marriage is there anything to fear and worry about despite it being culturally disrespectful well apparently since it’s what I heard from my mother and how would you advise me to go about it.

have u tried to approach the father?
Reply 4
Original post by YT: Hunter CR
have u tried to approach the father?

I haven’t on the basis that what my mother is saying and don’t get me wrong mum knows well and respectfully is right maybe true especially in our culture and society and the girl dad is strict.
Original post by Anonymous
I haven’t on the basis that what my mother is saying and don’t get me wrong mum knows well and respectfully is right maybe true especially in our culture and society and the girl dad is strict.

Try to arrange a family meeting maybe?
Are they famile friends?
Reply 6
Original post by YT: Hunter CR
Try to arrange a family meeting maybe?
Are they famile friends?

Unfortunately not I’ve been trying to get our mothers to talk to each other although ideally at the end of the day it’ll be her father the one to give his input.
Original post by Anonymous
Unfortunately not I’ve been trying to get our mothers to talk to each other although ideally at the end of the day it’ll be her father the one to give his input.

You should consult a scholar/molana that you know
They will definitely be able to help you
Pray to allah and try to wake for tahajudd
pray istighfar (at least 5 thousand a day) and allah will remove all your difficulties inshalllah
Reply 8
Original post by YT: Hunter CR
You should consult a scholar/molana that you know
They will definitely be able to help you
Pray to allah and try to wake for tahajudd
pray istighfar (at least 5 thousand a day) and allah will remove all your difficulties inshalllah

Thanks brother I mean I have a clear intention, I will self fund and raise the money and funds needed for our wedding to happen and I just want to marry her my mother has said yes although I haven’t heard anything from her parents and I’m just awaiting patiently there’s nothing wrong with a bit of assurance am I not right.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi she’s talked about it to her mother well tried but her mother refused to hear on the matter of this subject, she wants to ideally finish her education first as she’s nearing towards the end of her degree although she said she’d tell her father when her 21st birthday would approach a couple of months away yet hasn’t and is afraid to do so especially knowing her father is strict and may be challenging for him to understand on this matter.

Just arrange a meeting and go for it if you're that desperate. You keep starting threads about it and receiving the same advice.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks brother I mean I have a clear intention, I will self fund and raise the money and funds needed for our wedding to happen and I just want to marry her my mother has said yes although I haven’t heard anything from her parents and I’m just awaiting patiently there’s nothing wrong with a bit of assurance am I not right.

yep
inshallah you will get what you want ameen
salaam
Original post by Anonymous
Just arrange a meeting and go for it if you're that desperate. You keep starting threads about it and receiving the same advice.

thats a little rude
be a little more respectful
marriage is a big part of life and should be taken seriously
Original post by YT: Hunter CR
thats a little rude
be a little more respectful
marriage is a big part of life and should be taken seriously

I wasn’t trying to be rude, sorry if it came across that way. I was saying that the OP has asked the same thing a lot of times here and that the advice has remained the same. Posting about it a lot of times won’t change the situation was my point.

I wish OP the best and hope he gets what he wants.
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
I wasn’t trying to be rude, sorry if it came across that way. I was saying that the OP has asked the same thing a lot of times here and that the advice has remained the same. Posting about it a lot of times won’t change the situation was my point.

I wish OP the best and hope he gets what he wants.


It’s alright don’t worry about it I should know better than to post multiple threads about it I’m sorry I do apologise I just wanted to seek useful and helpful advice it’s been challenging don’t have anybody to look towards to direct or guide me for help but thanks for the wish anyways :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
It’s alright don’t worry about it I should know better than to post multiple threads about it I’m sorry I do apologise I just wanted to seek useful and helpful advice it’s been challenging don’t have anybody to look towards to direct or guide me for help but thanks for the wish anyways :smile:

You don’t need to apologise. I understand that it’s stressful for you. All I was saying was that you’ve got to start to use the advice people have given you. I hope it goes well for you. You never know her parents might have a change of heart abruptly and things will go quick for you.

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