The Student Room Group

i dont want anyone in my room

so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp
Hello,

I think the best way to go about this is by telling your friends that you're not comfortable having anyone in your room as if you keep coming up with excuses, they're going to start piling up and you'd eventually have to cave in. So I suggest that you should just be up front with them and let them know how you feel about having people in your flat. Hope this helps!

Kind regards,
Roshan
Coventry University Student Ambassador
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp


Anon,

Your room is your room! You do not have to invite anyone in or show them round, but of course if you keep talking about your room then naturally people will be curious to see it.

It might be useful to try and talk about other things aside from your accommodation to try and steer people away from wanting to visit.

Hope that helps,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp


Hi there,
As the other posters have said, its your room and you don't need to show it to your friend's friends if you're not feeling comfortable. If saying no is proving difficult, maybe suggest meeting up elsewhere? For example, you could mention how nice the social spaces are in your accommodation (if they have any).

I would say that, as someone who was also given a much bigger room than my friends at university, the interest will fade eventually - likely once uni properly starts and their focus goes elsewhere.

Hope this helps!

- Sophie
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp


You could always send a picture once your room is clean :h: Also depending how far you are from home will probably stop the 'friends of friends' wanting to come. Another thing, you could always make up some kind of rule that the uni says you're only allowed 'X number of people' to visit.
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp

Hi there,


Sorry to hear about your situation, as a quiet person I also enjoy having my personal space sometimes, and I think that is fine.

I know you may feel pressure to show your room especially if you are in first year of University. But feel free to refuse others if you do not want to let them in your room.

I think you could always offer an alternative by showing them a picture/video of your room instead. You could always let your flatmates/ closer friends know that you are not too comfortable with showing your room to others, they should be understanding of your situation. :biggrin:

Hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent student rep
Just tell them u have a rat infestation in Ur room 😆.
JK I know how u feel and that it's easier said than done but just tell them Ur not comfortable. Just think in the future U might end up in similar situations and are u gonna give in every time?
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp

Hey there,

Please, be sure that you are doing everything correctly as there are hundreds of different reasons to be uncomfortable to show your dwelling to other people. My advise is to learn to establish personal borders and not be afraid of telling people that you do not want anyone to enter your room.

I usually say that "Although I trust you, I am very uncomfortable with other people entering my room as it is something very personal. I hope you would understand that."

let me know if you have other questions :smile:

- Ilya :biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp

Hiya,

Honestly, I can relate. The thought of moving to university and living in shared accommodation where people were in my personal space gave me anxiety just thinking about it :afraid:; hence why I made the decision to live in a studio flat alone. Even when I have maintenance issues and work men need to go into my studio I asked to be notified when they are coming and when they leave because I cringe at the idea of unwanted people in my room.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to show your personal space it’s called your bedroom for a reason :elefant:Perhaps because you have just moved there and it’s all new and exciting people want to see your room and hopefully this will die down, also it might be because yours is an accessible room so a lot bigger than everyone else’s and they just want to compare it to their own.

Personally I’d start by just being honest as you said the excuses will keep piling up and running out as Ilya said my fellow co-worker establish personal boundaries and don’t be afraid of the truth by simply saying your room is your space and you like it that way I’m sure they can relate to wanting to keep their privacy. :smile:

I hope this helps and provides some form of comfort, if you would like to ask me anything please message.

-Maddie :heart:
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp

Hi there!

I'm Pip, a 3rd year Television Production student. I also had a big accessible room in 1st year, and everyone wanted to see it. I don't think they mean any harm, I think uni accommodation rooms are notorious for being small so it's exciting to them! Maybe, for friends of friends etc you could take a photo or two to show people. I did this when people asked me - you don't owe anyone a room tour. At the end of the day, it's your personal space. I ended hosting a lot of pres or gatherings in my room because of its size. If you're not happy with doing this, i think it will be good to be honest about this with friends or flatmates early on, so they don't come to the assumption that you'll have gatherings in your room throughout the year.

Good luck!

Pip :smile:
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
so i just moved to uni and got given a huggeee accessible room, literally 3x a standard room. and everyone wants to see- ive shown my flat but their friends and friends want to see. ive said no my rooms kinda messy rn but i cant keep using that excuse. and im pretty quiet and shy and basically a homebody. helpppp


I totally get it, i think to get them off your back is to either tell them how you feel or just send pictures of your clean room. If you send pictures, then there isnt a reason for them to visit

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