Never try to outsmart a woman Watch

This discussion is closed.
sparkle86
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#21
Report 14 years ago
#21
hang on sunshine! we got it easy? er du think pushing a bowling ball outta a hose pipe is easy?

du think bleeding for a few days ever single month is easy? du think stomach cramps and achey breasts is easy?
0
john !!
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#22
Report 14 years ago
#22
nope because I was being sarcastic!

what was that about outsmarting a woman?
0
F1 fanatic
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#23
Report 14 years ago
#23
(Original post by cindy)
Never try to outsmart a woman!

:aetsch:
I hope you didnt bother to type all that out. It is slightly amusing I spose. A bit unfair though don't you think? I mean what have we ever done to you?

This is an argument I like to stay out of. I will readily admit that guys have it a lot easier than girls. But to suggest that women are more intelligent is pushing it. Surely its more a personal thing. Lies, damn lies & statistics I say. Like the whole girls are cleverer academically than boys. :mad: :mad: that drives me up the wall :secruity:
0
Vikernes
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#24
Report 14 years ago
#24
So the moral of the first two texts is that men work hard for their fortune, whereas a woman opens her gash and gets it easy?
0
Natalie Lane
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#25
Report 14 years ago
#25
I've got tons of those jokes (not that funny though )

3 Guys were going to travel and thought it was cheaper to do so by train. As they were buying their tickets they noticed that 3 girls were only buying one ticket. Rolling his eyes, one of the guys approached them and asked them how did they all intend to travel if they only had one ticket, the girls just shrugged. So the guys watched as the 3 girls entered the train an immediately made their way to the bathroom, the 3 squeezing into one cubicle. As the man who checked for tickets passed by he knocked on the bathroom door and said "Ticket please"
One ticket slid through under the door and the man left after marking the ticket.
When buying the ticket for the return trip the 3 men agreed to only buy one ticket and do as the girls had done, then they noticed that the same girls bought no tickets at all. One of them asked the girls "How are the 3 of intending to travel without any tickets?" and the response was, once again, shrugs.
The 3 men then walked into the train and squeezed themselves into the tiny cubicle before one of the girls knocked on the door and said "ticket please."
0
Apollo
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#26
Report 14 years ago
#26
alright, that beast one was incredibly lame :rolleyes:
0
Makavelli_07
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#27
Report 14 years ago
#27
(Original post by Vikernes)
So the moral of the first two texts is that men work hard for their fortune, whereas a woman opens her gash and gets it easy?
LOL

They're quite funny i guess. Someone dig up some anti-woman ones.. There's got too be loads floating around the net.
0
Oziris
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#28
Report 14 years ago
#28
Anything beyond this point is not my writing by the way (and these may be incredibly old )

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
rules from the male side. These are our rules - Please note that they are not
numbered as they are equally important.

· Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change
that.

· Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down

· Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

· Crying is blackmail.

· Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
notwork. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it.

· Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

· Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

· A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

· Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

· If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

· If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

· You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

· Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

· Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

· ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example,
is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

· If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

· If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

· If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't
want to hear.

· When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.

· Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

· You have enough clothes.

· You have too many shoes.

· I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know,I may have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know that real men really don't mind that - it's
like camping.
0
F1 fanatic
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#29
Report 14 years ago
#29
(Original post by Oziris)
Anything beyond this point is not my writing by the way (and these may be incredibly old )


Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know,I may have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know that real men really don't mind that - it's
like camping.
Hehe Revenge is so sweet. Some of those things are worryingly true though
0
sparkle86
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#30
Report 14 years ago
#30
lol, if a guy said that to me, id be furious! if i had a bf like that, well he'd be out! bloody cheek!

women: dont let ANY man get their own way.
0
Lil' Miss Smiley
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#31
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#31
(Original post by Natalie Lane)
I've got tons of those jokes (not that funny though )

3 Guys were going to travel and thought it was cheaper to do so by train. As they were buying their tickets they noticed that 3 girls were only buying one ticket. Rolling his eyes, one of the guys approached them and asked them how did they all intend to travel if they only had one ticket, the girls just shrugged. So the guys watched as the 3 girls entered the train an immediately made their way to the bathroom, the 3 squeezing into one cubicle. As the man who checked for tickets passed by he knocked on the bathroom door and said "Ticket please"
One ticket slid through under the door and the man left after marking the ticket.
When buying the ticket for the return trip the 3 men agreed to only buy one ticket and do as the girls had done, then they noticed that the same girls bought no tickets at all. One of them asked the girls "How are the 3 of intending to travel without any tickets?" and the response was, once again, shrugs.
The 3 men then walked into the train and squeezed themselves into the tiny cubicle before one of the girls knocked on the door and said "ticket please."

LOL
0
amo1
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#32
Report 14 years ago
#32
this is a bit rikay but oh well
What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party... ooo makes me laugh
0
Lil' Miss Smiley
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#33
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#33
(Original post by Oziris)
Anything beyond this point is not my writing by the way (and these may be incredibly old )


· Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

· ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example,
is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

· If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

·Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know,I may have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know that real men really don't mind that - it's
like camping.
LOL i like those!! You are right us women remember everything even if it is trivial. Men don't have the vision to see different clours of the spectrum as we do. I have a male friend who constantly scratches his *alls, to the point where I don't stand that close to him as he may of caught something from his promiscuos ways. :eek:
0
ThePants999
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#34
Report 14 years ago
#34
(Original post by sparkle86)
lol, if a guy said that to me, id be furious! if i had a bf like that, well he'd be out! bloody cheek!

women: dont let ANY man get their own way.
I can see you're in for a long, happy marriage when you grow up...
0
ThePants999
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#35
Report 14 years ago
#35
(Original post by cindy)
Never try to outsmart a woman!

etc etc <snip>
Things we can learn from this post...

* Women can outsmart dead people - shock horror
* Women need a man to go shopping
* Women are totally inept at choosing partners
* Women take themselves too seriously
...and of course...
* Women can't write jokes.

0
ThePants999
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#36
Report 14 years ago
#36
(Original post by Natalie Lane)
I've got tons of those jokes (not that funny though )

3 Guys were going to travel and thought it was cheaper to do so by train. As they were buying their tickets they noticed that 3 girls were only buying one ticket. Rolling his eyes, one of the guys approached them and asked them how did they all intend to travel if they only had one ticket, the girls just shrugged. So the guys watched as the 3 girls entered the train an immediately made their way to the bathroom, the 3 squeezing into one cubicle. As the man who checked for tickets passed by he knocked on the bathroom door and said "Ticket please"
One ticket slid through under the door and the man left after marking the ticket.
When buying the ticket for the return trip the 3 men agreed to only buy one ticket and do as the girls had done, then they noticed that the same girls bought no tickets at all. One of them asked the girls "How are the 3 of intending to travel without any tickets?" and the response was, once again, shrugs.
The 3 men then walked into the train and squeezed themselves into the tiny cubicle before one of the girls knocked on the door and said "ticket please."
What we can learn from this post...

* Women have no originality whatsoever, their idea of making a good women-men joke being to take a joke originally written about two completely different groups and change the two parties to being women and men

Ref:
http://www.jokesmagazine.com/managea...asp?c=440&a=49
http://members.iinet.net.au/~dare/engineer.html
http://www.plumbingworld.com/plumjoke.html (near the bottom)
http://www.evan-and-jami.com/evan/jokes/pme.txt
http://glesgapals.proboards19.com/in...num=1067404920 (near the bottom)
et cetera.
0
sparkle86
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#37
Report 14 years ago
#37
(Original post by ThePants999)
I can see you're in for a long, happy marriage when you grow up...
im not that bad. im lovely really.

karen x
0
Lil' Miss Smiley
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#38
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#38
Why do men always take jokes against men so seriously??!!!! :eek: I only posted them for fun, not to have all the blokes throwing their dummies out of their cots!! LOL
0
NDGAARONDI
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#39
Report 14 years ago
#39
Why did the thread starter type out in red? What if someone reading is colourblind?
0
Lil' Miss Smiley
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#40
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#40
(Original post by NDGAARONDI)
Why did the thread starter type out in red? What if someone reading is colourblind?
I never thought of that!! I apologise to any out there who cannot read my wonderful post and will not be able to bask in my sunlight.
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you made up your mind on your five uni choices?

Yes I know where I'm applying (122)
65.24%
No I haven't decided yet (39)
20.86%
Yes but I might change my mind (26)
13.9%

Watched Threads

View All