The Student Room Group

Dropping out of uni help please

I really like uni and all the opportunities it presents, but I think I want to leave. The uni is amazing but I personally, after working so hard to get here, just want to go home and transfer after taking a gap year. It kind of feels as though I did the hard work at alevel, spited my teachers by getting good grades, and now my drive and passion are gone. I've not even picked up a course book and just don't see this working out even though I wish it could.
The people are incredible and the course is good, but I just don't see myself staying and actually working hard this year. I feel as though I need time to work on myself for a bit (I have a lot of illnesses and treatment hasn't been sorted).
People always used to say not to make decisions based on friends, so I'm trying not to let the thought of leaving them behind stress me out to much. I hope I can stay friends with some of these people because they truly are amazing.
The uni in my home city is very high up on the league table and I could easily just live at home and not have to stress about money. Most people from my uni live an hour away whereas I live four hours away.
Living 100s of miles a way and having to fend for myself is just hard and I hope this is the right decision, even though its only been three weeks.
My plan would be to defer the rest of this year, leave uni, and reapply somehow for next year. I'm not sure how to do this, so any help would be appreciated. I'll live with my parents for the next two years and get a job, save up as I'll be at home and not require as much, then maybe second or third year I will move into an apartment near my parents (or just save up until the end of uni and save for a deposit)
My parents are even more chill than the wardens, and even though my parents moved me into a smaller bedroom, I think I could learn to live with it if only for the chance to spend more time with my dog and family in general. I don't want to wait about for ages and have to pay even more in the long run when I could get ahead now and just trust myself.
Uni couldn't do anything better, but I've been through a lot and think its better to jump back into my old life if only just to straighten things out, as that has led to a lot of things so far not being exactly easy for me. (money, medications, physio, doctors etc- I need these things on hand far more than most people I know).
I'm just hoping I can get my reference from last year, rewrite my PS a bit and still apply with the same success as last time (I got 5 offers from great unis).
Genuinley, it feels like its the distance and timing, and for once I feel like I should listen to myself.
Also, what's the rule with having to pay back student finance? Apparently I'd have to pay it all back now even though I will be applying to cover my fees for next year. It would be quite inconvenient more than anything as the money i have in my account was supposed to be for next terms rent (it was also my birthday gift from my grandmother).

P.S. In regards to independence, this is why my parents have taken the large bedroom off of me and given me the box room, as I need to learn to be responsible for a small space. I'll have to leave 2/3 of my possessions at uni, which I'm okay (traveling back by coach) with as it is nice of them to let me live at home if i go through with this and its better than paying rent.
They are trying to maintain the line of me being their child and me being an adult, and I will have to step up with my independence if i go through with this. My parents are the kind that would smoke bud with me in the garden, let me do whatever i want, but make sure I know that if i run out of money or get in legal trouble, then its my responsibility. They're tough but almost always fair, so I don't have any issues with living with them for a few more years, especially as I lived away from them for 6 years at boarding school (another thing they kindly paid for) xx
(edited 9 months ago)
Reply 1
Just withdraw and reapply in the next UCAS cycle for the closer gaff. From an institutional perspective, it's very straightforward.
Reply 2
I think i'm in a similar situation but I decided to take a gap year (very last minute) instead. I also found a levels extremely draining and although I have passion for my area of study, I felt that a year to calm down, and reflect on what I truly want to do would be more beneficial than following my peers to uni just to likely be as stressed and unhappy as before. I would talk to your course/ accommodation managers about the possibility of deferring because it will depend on the uni. Same with student finance, you'll have to contact them to find out what they can do (I know I had to cancel student finance for this year and will have to reapply for it for next year). Alternatively, if you are certain you want to change uni then you can quite easily reapply through ucas for next year with the same personal statement, grades etc as you used this year. Good luck, trust yourself 😄😄
Lots of people move a long way from home to be at the university of their choice. You are no different here - I am sure not everyone at your uni live 1 hour away.
Reply 4
Original post by melroseten
I really like uni and all the opportunities it presents, but I think I want to leave. The uni is amazing but I personally, after working so hard to get here, just want to go home and transfer after taking a gap year. It kind of feels as though I did the hard work at alevel, spited my teachers by getting good grades, and now my drive and passion are gone. I've not even picked up a course book and just don't see this working out even though I wish it could.
The people are incredible and the course is good, but I just don't see myself staying and actually working hard this year. I feel as though I need time to work on myself for a bit (I have a lot of illnesses and treatment hasn't been sorted).
People always used to say not to make decisions based on friends, so I'm trying not to let the thought of leaving them behind stress me out to much. I hope I can stay friends with some of these people because they truly are amazing.
The uni in my home city is very high up on the league table and I could easily just live at home and not have to stress about money. Most people from my uni live an hour away whereas I live four hours away.
Living 100s of miles a way and having to fend for myself is just hard and I hope this is the right decision, even though its only been three weeks.
My plan would be to defer the rest of this year, leave uni, and reapply somehow for next year. I'm not sure how to do this, so any help would be appreciated. I'll live with my parents for the next two years and get a job, save up as I'll be at home and not require as much, then maybe second or third year I will move into an apartment near my parents (or just save up until the end of uni and save for a deposit)
My parents are even more chill than the wardens, and even though my parents moved me into a smaller bedroom, I think I could learn to live with it if only for the chance to spend more time with my dog and family in general. I don't want to wait about for ages and have to pay even more in the long run when I could get ahead now and just trust myself.
Uni couldn't do anything better, but I've been through a lot and think its better to jump back into my old life if only just to straighten things out, as that has led to a lot of things so far not being exactly easy for me. (money, medications, physio, doctors etc- I need these things on hand far more than most people I know).
I'm just hoping I can get my reference from last year, rewrite my PS a bit and still apply with the same success as last time (I got 5 offers from great unis).
Genuinley, it feels like its the distance and timing, and for once I feel like I should listen to myself.
Also, what's the rule with having to pay back student finance? Apparently I'd have to pay it all back now even though I will be applying to cover my fees for next year. It would be quite inconvenient more than anything as the money i have in my account was supposed to be for next terms rent (it was also my birthday gift from my grandmother).

P.S. In regards to independence, this is why my parents have taken the large bedroom off of me and given me the box room, as I need to learn to be responsible for a small space. I'll have to leave 2/3 of my possessions at uni, which I'm okay (traveling back by coach) with as it is nice of them to let me live at home if i go through with this and its better than paying rent.
They are trying to maintain the line of me being their child and me being an adult, and I will have to step up with my independence if i go through with this. My parents are the kind that would smoke bud with me in the garden, let me do whatever i want, but make sure I know that if i run out of money or get in legal trouble, then its my responsibility. They're tough but almost always fair, so I don't have any issues with living with them for a few more years, especially as I lived away from them for 6 years at boarding school (another thing they kindly paid for) xx

Why would your parents put you in a smaller room?Why would you have to leave your stuff at uni.Would they not collect you?Do they want you at home?Are you certain you are not just homesick ATM.
Reply 5
Original post by Scotney
Why would your parents put you in a smaller room?Why would you have to leave your stuff at uni.Would they not collect you?Do they want you at home?Are you certain you are not just homesick ATM.

they're selling the house and my room was always a state and they need it to look more presentable.
yes im homesick, and I'm so sick of being homesick since i've been doing it for 6 years already
Reply 6
Original post by mike23mike
Lots of people move a long way from home to be at the university of their choice. You are no different here - I am sure not everyone at your uni live 1 hour away.

no most of them do, I've not met a single person from my city or anyone from up north.
I just want time to myself, I rushed into uni too quickly
(edited 9 months ago)
Reply 7
I think i'm in a similar situation but I decided to take a gap year (very last minute) instead. I also found a levels extremely draining and although I have passion for my area of study, I felt that a year to calm down, and reflect on what I truly want to do would be more beneficial than following my peers to uni just to likely be as stressed and unhappy as before. I would talk to your course/ accommodation managers about the possibility of deferring because it will depend on the uni. Same with student finance, you'll have to contact them to find out what they can do (I know I had to cancel student finance for this year and will have to reapply for it for next year). Alternatively, if you are certain you want to change uni then you can quite easily reapply through ucas for next year with the same personal statement, grades etc as you used this year. Good luck, trust yourself 😄😄

I've done most things on the admin side so hopefully i leave soon!!
Probably will use the next year to finish my novel and appreciate freedom properly for the last time

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