The Student Room Group

An ex friend got in touch with me telling me she will report me for stalking and

Harassment to the police if I continue to behave the way I am on social media. I wasn't doing it to harass her I literally just wanted to get everything off my chest and then never speak to her again. I didn't get to say everything to her at college so I just said it online. What's the harm in that?
Original post by Anonymous
Harassment to the police if I continue to behave the way I am on social media. I wasn't doing it to harass her I literally just wanted to get everything off my chest and then never speak to her again. I didn't get to say everything to her at college so I just said it online. What's the harm in that?


What did you say exactly?
Original post by Anonymous
Harassment to the police if I continue to behave the way I am on social media. I wasn't doing it to harass her I literally just wanted to get everything off my chest and then never speak to her again. I didn't get to say everything to her at college so I just said it online. What's the harm in that?


...depends what u said mate
Well, you've been clearly warned. Trying to insist on a big final rant before blocking someone etc is just petty and vindictive full stop. It's not like you want a dialogue, just the last word.
Original post by Anonymous
Harassment to the police if I continue to behave the way I am on social media. I wasn't doing it to harass her I literally just wanted to get everything off my chest and then never speak to her again. I didn't get to say everything to her at college so I just said it online. What's the harm in that?

The harm is that that you may have committed an offence under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 if (for example) you have embarked on a course of conduct which has included "alarming the person or causing the person distress" - see 7(2) of the act - and have done so "on at least two occasions in relation to that person" - see 7(3)(a).
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
What did you say exactly?

Can't remember but she has been screenshotting it and saving it so one day if my behaviour continues I can send it to the police.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
What did you say exactly?

*She can show it to the police
Reply 7
Original post by DataVenia
The harm is that that you may have committed an offence under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 if (for example) you have embarked on a course of conduct which has included "alarming the person or causing the person distress" - see 7(2) of the act - and have done so "on at least two occasions in relation to that person" - see 7(3)(a).

I have contacted her more than once and unknowingly sent her friend who I was on good terms with, multiple friend requests. I was only looking at our old chat messages but she got many friend requests from me. I did speak to her friend who was also my friend who I was on good terms with because she added me back and wanted to hear what I had to say but I only added her to see our old chat messages. We are not friends but we aren't on bad terms either. We wished each other all the best.
Reply 8
If she’s doesn’t want the contact, and has now told you that, I would strongly recommend you don’t contact her any further.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Can't remember but she has been screenshotting it and saving it so one day if my behaviour continues I can send it to the police.


If you can't remember, then presumably it was either on Snapchat or Disappearing Messages?

It's always going to come down to context. If you are just moaning at her that she didn't pay her half of some cinema tickets six months ago, then that is never going to amount to harassment under the PHA. If however, you have been pestering her for intimacy (a date, photos, sex) then you're pretty much done. If all this has been done on Snapchat or Disappearing Messages, then you can be in a lot of trouble if you don't have your own messages or her replies (if any).

If you still have her message telling you she might report you - I would keep that so that you can use it against her should the need arise. But in any event, you have to stop communicating with her.
Original post by Anonymous
Can't remember but she has been screenshotting it and saving it so one day if my behaviour continues I can send it to the police.


Ok, well we need to assume that what you said was significantly inappropriate and you have no way to defend yourself. Best not contact them or direct comments at them again.
Reply 11
Original post by Trinculo
If you can't remember, then presumably it was either on Snapchat or Disappearing Messages?

It's always going to come down to context. If you are just moaning at her that she didn't pay her half of some cinema tickets six months ago, then that is never going to amount to harassment under the PHA. If however, you have been pestering her for intimacy (a date, photos, sex) then you're pretty much done. If all this has been done on Snapchat or Disappearing Messages, then you can be in a lot of trouble if you don't have your own messages or her replies (if any).

If you still have her message telling you she might report you - I would keep that so that you can use it against her should the need arise. But in any event, you have to stop communicating with her.

No it was on Instagram.
Reply 12
Original post by StriderHort
Ok, well we need to assume that what you said was significantly inappropriate and you have no way to defend yourself. Best not contact them or direct comments at them again.

I won't ever contact them again but what exactly would happen if she did report me for stalking and harassment? I did send messages and later delete them once she saw them once and made multiple accounts. I also sent her pictures of herself and maybe one of her friends who I was on good terms with and then deleted it 2 years after she changed her username so I can't contact her. So say I said something in 2018-2019 and 2021 but later deleted the messages after she saw it and 2022 saw graduation pictures of her and her friends and not sure if she saw that I viewed it (it was public) 2023 I sent her graduation pictures but later deleted it thinking she may report it to Instagram or the police and I don't think she saw it. She only warned me about 2018-2019 messages so I don't think she saw anything else. I will stop contacting them but what exactly would happen if she did report me? Would I have to stand up in court? Be arrested? What?
Reply 13
Original post by Trinculo
If you can't remember, then presumably it was either on Snapchat or Disappearing Messages?

It's always going to come down to context. If you are just moaning at her that she didn't pay her half of some cinema tickets six months ago, then that is never going to amount to harassment under the PHA. If however, you have been pestering her for intimacy (a date, photos, sex) then you're pretty much done. If all this has been done on Snapchat or Disappearing Messages, then you can be in a lot of trouble if you don't have your own messages or her replies (if any).

If you still have her message telling you she might report you - I would keep that so that you can use it against her should the need arise. But in any event, you have to stop communicating with her.

The message telling me she might report me how would that help me use that against her?
Reply 14
Sounds like she has given you a warning not to continue. Just never contact her again. She has very clearly told you that she doesn't want you to.
Original post by Anonymous
but what exactly would happen if she did report me? Would I have to stand up in court? Be arrested? What?


I'm not a stalker, I've never had to concern myself with such questions, but I'd need to assume 'Yes'

This obviously IS stalking with an intent to cause distress so entirely possible it could be taken further, as said, you've been warned.
Original post by Anonymous
I will stop contacting them but what exactly would happen if she did report me? Would I have to stand up in court? Be arrested? What?

I agree with @StriderHort. Your actions clearly amount to harassment, and you could therefore potential be charged under PHA 1997 (see previous link). Stop harassing her and all this will likely go away.
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
The message telling me she might report me how would that help me use that against her?


If you haven't actually done anything wrong (although I personally doubt it) then she's threatening you for no reason.

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